Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Survey Says...This Is the Most Ridiculous Answer Yet

I like to answer surveys in my spare time.  Typically I get points that I can turn into gift cards or cash.  It takes forever to get a reward, but I don't mind. It only takes about a half hour a week or so.  Usually I don't meet the criteria. I think I am getting old. B likes to make fun of my "second job" and will say things like "Nice making $3.00 for an hour's worth of your time."  Well, that is $3 he doesn't have, right? Also, I multitask while answering.

So as to the point of this post, sometimes the survey givers like to make sure you are paying attention. They will throw in some question like "pick answer B."  I am quite adept at spotting those and moving through. However, the other day, one particular question and, more specifically the answers, made me do a double take:
Which of the following major life events have occurred within your immediate family (you or your parents, spouse, or children) within the last six months:
An engagement 
A wedding
Graduation from college
The birth of a child
The purchase of a new home
Traveled to outer space
None of these
Did you read that bolded answer?  "Traveled to outer space" seems like a logical response to "What have you done in the last six months?"  Are you kidding me? 

I am curious. How does one go about traveling to outer space? Is it only through alien abduction or the Space Shuttle? What about now that the Space Shuttle has been put out of service? More importantly, you know that a LOT of people chose that as an answer and not in an ironic kind of way. WAY too many people.

That reminds me of a segment on a morning radio show recently that challenged its listeners to find one of them that had actually had contact with an alien.  There was the usual bright lights, weirdly shaped floating football shaped flying machines and almond eyed aliens at the end of beds.  Then there was the lady who posed this question:
If these aliens are so advanced, why do they only visit and not stick around?
I am pretty sure the answer is contained within the question, don't you think? 

Monday, May 23, 2011

Why Yes, We Still Do Own That Other Dog a/k/a Why Haven't I Updated About Nevada?

Parenting fail.  I remember constantly posting about Jersey. Well, that is probably an exaggeration, but I know I posted more than I do about Nevada. Heck, I don't even take that many pictures of her.  Not sure if it is because I am lazy or she is not. Man this dog moves around.

So anyway, here were are just two months after rescuing a undernourished and very dirty Nevada from a home in a rough area and she is doing great.  She doesn't even look like the same dog sometimes. It could be that now her ears stick straight up:

I kind of miss the folded over ears, but I have convinced myself that her ears are up because she is happy.  Yes, that is her standing on the arm of the couch. No manners that one.  She eats a lot and LOVES to eat.  I know all dogs love feeding time, even Jersey will cock her head to the side and book when you say "food." This dog though? She jumps in the air (by the way she can jump straight up in the air without even launching off of anything), she does leaps, her tail goes crazy, she runs in circles. It is quite insane.  However, she has filled out now. Up to 44 pounds:

Know what else? She pees a LOT.  And she wasn't potty trained either. We forgot how much puppies pee and then this one was 100 x that amount. I swear I took her outside about three times in 45 minutes.  She has somewhat gotten the hang of it even though there are some mistakes made occasionally:

She is constantly on the move, usually chasing Jersey, riding Jersey, biting Jersey's foot, gnawing Jersey's face...you get the picture. She does have a small warrior scar from when Jersey had enough.  They are still friends.  This is a rare moment that she was still:

Then she eventually just konks out near me or on me.  For the first week she slept fitfully. She would moan and groan and I was very concerned. That has since passed and aside from the occasional snoring (seriously), she sleeps rather well and with us.  Sometimes I wake up with Jersey entangled with my legs under the cover and Nevada laying lengthwise under my arm. At that moment, even though my entire body aches, I think "this is heaven."

Now, she and Jersey are like sisters. They have fun, they get annoyed with each other (mostly Jersey to Nevada), they sleep all over each other and are almost always by each other's side.  Nevada has definitely changed our lives.  Like it was in Jersey's case, it is for the better.

Thanks for finding us Little Baby Bada.  We love you!

Monday, May 16, 2011

I May Have Heels and You May Be Closer But I Will Win

Not everything in my life is a competition, however, I will admit that sometimes I see a competition where none exists. At other times, I create a competition that might not otherwise have been there.  For example, the other day I had to go to an ATM by our house on my way to court because I have to park where they only take cash. Again with the cash only! I never have cash.  So, anyway, I pull up to the corner bank in a dubious area and ponder parking in the fire lane since it is a walk up ATM and the parking spots are about six feet away. Since this bank was near where I got a ticket last year, I decided not to take my chances and park legally.

Into the first parking spot I went. Just as I was turning my car off, this minivan pulls up and parks in the fire lane. The van is a mere two feet from the ATM and I am pissed! Because of my good citizen ways, I am going to have to wait for another person to use the ATM.

Unless I beat them there first, that is.

Just as the guy was getting out of his car, I was out of mine and running in high heels and a suit.  I jumped a curb, ran through some grass and some bushes and got to the ATM in time. I resisted the urge to yell out "FACE" or some other sort of "nah nah" sentiment and hurried my transaction along.  I turned to find the guy leaning against his car.

Guy: You beat me.
Me: Yes, but you got that awesome parking spot.
Guy: But you are wearing a nice suit.
Me: Touche

Okay, I didn't actually say that last thing, but he did compliment me on my suit. I only slightly felt like an ass.  I also felt like an Olympic athlete.

Then I went to the car to catch my breath.

Monday, May 09, 2011

You Want More Amsterdam? I've Got More Amsterdam!

Some rude commenter who may or may not be related to me and such relation may or may not be through choice rather than blood, requested more European vacation pictures.  A nicer commenter (Hi Cindy!) also wanted more Europe pictures.  So I sorted through some of the thousands (I am serious. Thousands.) of pictures to bring you highlights of Amsterdam. Part 1. Or is it Part 2? 

I told you there were a lot of bikes. Look at all of those bikes. It even made me want to ride bike.  Until I saw how fast the cars zip by them and how the bikers have to make sharp turns.  Scary bike riding for sure.

I want to live in these expensive houses by the canal.  They are millions of dollars or something ridiculous.

I wanted to eat at this castle like place. I had no idea what they served. I still don't.

I just love the feel and symmetry of this street.  And the colors.

I love these buildings.

I love the trees lining the street. And more bikes.

And what does the Red Light District look like in the daytime?  Pretty much like this:

Like all of the other streets but with women in windows...

...and all of those people, mostly tourists, making their way in and out of the district...

...and the Live Sex Show signs...

...and the window full of weird pornographic knickknacks and, um, toys...

...and the Triple X rated sewer drain...

Ah, Amsterdam. I love thee.

You know who really loves Amsterdam? B. He wants to move there. Like tomorrow.  But we have a house (well two...grr), and five animals, and jobs.  You know, the little things.  Also? We don't speak Dutch.  Details.

However, should we win the lotto, I think we will be moving to Amsterdam, with Paris as a second home if I have any input.

You know how they say there is nothing like Paris in springtime? "They" are correct.

More on that later.

Sunday, May 01, 2011

It's Not My Fault That Your Hair Is Buggy.

It all started with a dream I had last week.  A bad dream. A creepy dream. One that stayed with me for so long the next day, I told everyone, including B, about it while repeatedly shaking and saying something along the lines of "BLAHHAYYYY". Whatever that means.  The dream in question? It went a little something like this:

I notice that flies keep getting stuck in my hair and the buzzing is driving me crazy. My Dad tells me maybe I should start brushing it. I tell him I just brushed it that morning and could he please just help me get them out. Then my hand goes by my ear and I feel a tickle. I pull a fly out of the inside of my ear, and then another. They are coming from my ears. My Dad and brother refuse to go to the hospital with me, both saying they have to work. I scream THERE ARE FLIES LIVING IN MY EARS!! They are not affected.

Fast forward to today. B and I are outside with the dogs when he nonchalantly says as walking away, "There's a bug in your hair." When I responded predictably with outright horror and a shriek "ARE YOU SERIOUS? WHERE? GET IT OUT! OUT!," he just shrugged and said "somewhere."  He would not even respond to my pleas to get it out.  Can you believe this? What is wrong with the men in my life and in my dreams? Where are the gentlemen that would help a woman get a bug out of her hair? Not in my life apparently. You know what B said in response to all of this?  I will give you one hint, it is the title of this post.

Speaking of this post, I know B will probably say that he cannot believe I "wasted" a post on a dream and a stupid bug in my hair when I could be telling you and showing you about our awesome vacation.  True.  You know what my response to that is? We took too many damn pictures. Seriously. Who takes almost 2000 pictures?  I need time to figure out what to present to you so that you will not think that we have lost our damn minds.  

So stay tuned.

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