It Appears You May Have Lost a Limb or Two...

You know the neighbor behind us, the long-grassed man? B is holding a bit of a grudge against him. It is not because he has long grass, or because he likes to journal his entire life,or sit outside and do teleconferences and teach classes from his computer, or because he used his grass as a storage unit for months on end. It is not even because he puts his composter right at our fence line.

It is his tree.

He has this old tree that is impinging on our property line and interfering with our ability to replace the fence. And we really want to replace the fence.

With a privacy fence.

Nevada loves the tree. It is a mulberry tree and all of these mulberries fall into our yard. Nevada eats them like she has never been fed.  B loves this.

The tree also has enormous branches that are hanging all over the wires. So B called the electric company, oh, about a few months ago. They finally got around to coming to deal with it this weekend.  I can say that the branches are no longer interfering with their lines.  I can't say they are not interfering with anything else. I also cannot give props to a job well done because, well, take a look yourself:

And then look a little closer:

That does not look at all ridiculous does it?  You will note that the majority of the tree is STILL hanging over into our yard. Nevada is relieved. More mulberries for her. YAY.  B just wants the tree gone. I just think this is the stupidest thing I have ever seen. Seriously, I am dumbfounded.

Look at that tree!

So, B's new plan is for me to charm the long-grassed man into removing the tree. Right...we all know how that worked with the neighbors and the air conditioning, right?

Just how high can a privacy fence go anyway?

 

Got Junk? I've Got a Lawn

Ever see those trucks driving around that say Got Junk? on them?* If so, could you please send them to my neighbor's house? Really, it is not enough that they have long grass. Friday I came home to this:

Can you see that? It is a pile of junk in the middle of the backyard. B came home and said "did you see the neighbors are cleaning out their garage." No. I never saw a neighbor. In fact, B admitted HE never saw a neighbor but just assumed that was what they were doing. I assumed they found a new storage area. B also informed me that he had sprayed their weeds. Apparently there were weeds behind their garage that were approaching 7 feet tall. Like sunflowers but not at all flowered or pretty.

As of the time we went to bed that night - still no neighbors spotted. Never saw them once. B then declared we should make a date/time stamp so we know how long the junk stays out there. That was last Friday when I arrived home at 5:30 p.m. Also, if you look at the photo carefully you may be able to see the profile of the guy inside his house watching TV while the junk is on the lawn.

The next morning B announces that the neighbors are tearing down their garage. Sure enough, I go to the window and see one guy with a crowbar prying one piece of wood from the garage. I declare "at this rate it will take all year!" and go about my day. A few hours later, it looked like this:

B and I then went to a football game and came back home to find it completely down but not taken away as they had run out of room in the dumpster. Also? They did not clean the entire garage out before demolishing it. I could clearly see (a) a gas can, (b) some fencing, and (c) other bits and pieces you would find in the garage. I guess they didn't want those things. Only the special things were kept in storage, i.e. the lawn.

I also saw the 7 foot dying weeds. Just as tall but dead looking. I wonder if they will demolish those. Come Monday, the lawn looked like this:

It is now Thursday and the lawn looks like this:

Yes, that is the same picture. Why waste energy taking a new one? Also that overturned chair you can see, the white plastic one? It has been overturned on the lawn long before the junk. About two weeks now. In that time period long grassed man has been outside reading or writing, but not turning the chair upright.

Any bets on how long the junk stays on the grass? B thinks they will surely put it in their new garage. I think B is highly optimistic if he thinks there will even be a new garage.

The lawn seems to be working out just fine for their storage needs.

*This might be a local thing, but it is a junk hauling company and that is their tagline. Memorable, obviously.

Everybody's Crazy for a Long Grassed Man

The other day I happened to see a couple walking by down our side street from my office window. That is where all the good spying is. Just ask B. Anyhow, the couple were all wrapped up in each other and kissing while also walking a dog. Now THAT is some talent folks. They were older. He was hunchbacked. She had white hair.

I then thought to myself "Wow there are TWO old couples in this hood that like to make out in public places." Nope. Turns out I was wrong. There is only one couple. It was them. Our long grassed neighbors. Apparently he is hunchbacked. Although not from yard work.*

Later that day, I told B this story. He was not as shocked as I except for the part where they ventured from their yard. That was so unusual. As we were speaking, they came out into their yard. One had a claw and one had a shovel. We watched in quiet anticipation. Was this the moment they would start to garden?** Would there be a lawnmower involved, we wondered.

Then they started making out and all our hopes were dashed.

*Can you even get hunchbacked from yard work? Who knows. Maybe a doctor. I am no doctor.

**Know what else I noticed that day? They compost. Really? They cannot cut their grass but they can compost?