Ramblings of a Riddler...A Horn, Iced Tea and 1993.

I was driving behind a mini van when I noticed that the driver and the passenger are in some sort of argument. The driver gives the passenger a shove. Then, out of nowhere, the passenger whips out a huge musical horn (like a big band horn) and blows it at the driver. Because it is so big, though, it is really blowing in front of his face and not by his ear. Just like that it is gone. Where did it go? Where did it come from? Was I seeing things?

***

I was so hot after the walking house tour this year that I decided I needed two Starbucks iced teas. Since they were both for me, I just got one straw. I met B at the car and told him I was glad he was there so it looked like I had bought him one, even though I hadn't.  We were driving off when I see B out of the corner of my eye pick up the tea to drink. Of course he has the one without a straw. Of course I watch to see what will happen. He tries to find the straw with his mouth three times before looking down and then looking at me and saying "How many times were you going to let me do that?"  Is forever a good answer?

***

I told B that I won my first win of June, a CD. He responded by saying "Way to win a prize from the past."  Yes, 1990 is supplying my prizes these days.

***

It's Summertime and the Sprinkling's Easy

Is it hot enough for you? Don't you hate when people ask that? But they all do. It is like the easy button of small talk.  Anyway, it has been hot here the past couple of days. It started on Saturday, the day of our annual walking tour. It was so hot, I didn't even bother taking pictures.  Check out pictures from a prior year here and here.  Same type of houses, same type of heat.

When we got back, B decided he was going to water the dogs. Literally.  He broke out the sprinkler, which Jersey loves.  It was Nevada's first time.  Luckily, B had the camera at the ready and captured some fun moments:

How does this work?

Where does it come from?

Where does it go?

Oh there! In my face.

If I turn quickly I can catch it.

Maybe I should just contort.

Jersey lets Nevada know she has it under control.

A sprinkler challenge!

And a face-off!

Mid-shake fest.

My name is Nevada and I am FEROCIOUS!

The rest of us humans just showered and took naps. A perfect summer day.

Can you believe it is summer already?

European Vacation: First Stop Amsterdam - Yes, Please!

So B and I took our own little European vacation. We had been talking about it forever, trying to decide where to go, when to go.  We got the bug on our Rome honeymoon and have been discussing it ever since. Then we bought a house. Then we got a dog.  The European vacation kept getting put on the back burner.  But, with a little help from a year end bonus, we decided to make it a reality.  

So B started planning it on his own.  Since France is so close to England and so close to The Netherlands, he decided we should move about the European Union.  Progress was slow. Finding hotel rooms was slow.  Fate, however, stepped in and we received a brochure from a travel company that I travelled with in law school. They were offering a vacation for the exact time we were looking for and to four countries we wanted to see Amsterdam (The Netherlands), Belgium, Paris (France) and London (England). Sold!

So we left on April 2nd for an 8 hour journey across the pond where it was 6 hours later and the next day.  Can anyone successfully sleep on an airplane?  On our Italy trip we got majorly screwed up.  This time, we had to stay awake as our hotel room wasn't ready until 2:00 p.m.  First stop?  Some coffee and a bagel. Well, maybe tea.

How cute is that plate?  They spoke nearly perfect English with the slight misunderstanding between B and the waiter that resulted in his small water being served in a shot glass. Seriously.

One thing we immediately noticed were all of the bicycles.  We later learned that Amsterdam is second only to China for the amount of bicycles (average 4 per family).  There were bikes everywhere. They even had their own paths, which we found out by almost being mowed down by one.  You quickly learn where you need to walk when your life depends on it.

Of course we went to the Red Light District. We went during the day. Then it just seems dirty, touristy and normal. At night? The same but with glowing red lights. We saw a woman ask one of the girls behind the glass door "how much?" only to be told by the girl she only does men.  B was also a favorite of one knocking, pouting girl, but he was too busy planning his next photo op to pay her any mind.

This was the area surrounding our hotel.  We loved our hotel. It had free wi fi and we brought our iPad. That meant B could continuously use Google Earth to "find us" even though we were technically always in the same place.

Our hotel had twin beds. We could not even push them together. Somehow I still managed to have more room on that little bed than I do in our king size with all of the animals, including B.

The weather held up pretty good. Fall like with no rain.  Perfect for walking all around town and planning on when you could move there, abandon your car and live a life of biking around like a mad man and woman.

Aside from bikes, the best way to get around is the tram.  Although it nearly cost us our marriage, we finally figured out the payment system and the routes and all was a piece of cake after that. Except for the time we were nearly separated.  It was like out of the movies.  Picture this:

I realize we are at the end of the line and the only ones left. I insist that we must GET OFF NOW. B gets off, but as I am waving my pass to leave, the doors start to close. B is pushing his button, I am pushing mine and we are panicking as I start to drive away BY MYSELF ON A TRAM IN A FOREIGN COUNTRY WHERE THEY SELL DRUGS AND SEX. I can still see B's face as I pull away looking like "Seriously?" while I shrug my shoulders and plan on how to get back to him. Where would this thing take me? Just as I got myself into a huge panic, the tram stopped at the next stop, four feet away.

Welcome to Europe!

Christmas Songs Make Me Sing, Curse and Profess My Love for Santa

In preparation for today and tomorrow, I decided to start listening to Christmas music on my satellite radio in the car. Of course, I was too lazy to look up what stations were offering such music so when one station mentioned a country Christmas station, I dialed in. I figured it didn't matter if I wasn't that fond of country music, it was Christmas music after all? How bad could it be?

Oh boy.

First of all, apparently country Christmas songs like to talk about Christmas geographically. For example, there is "Tennessee Christmas." Then I heard "It's Christmas in Texas, Y'all." No kidding. I am pretty sure it is Christmas everywhere (at least those places that celebrate Christmas which includes all 50 states). Also, I really don't think of Texas as country. Is it because of the cowboys? I guess that is plausible.

But "Colorado Christmas"? Now it is getting ridiculous. First, I am not sure what the difference is between a Colorado Christmas and a Tennessee Christmas and despite hearing both songs no less than 1,000 times, I didn't bother to listen to the lyrics to tell you. However, I know for a FACT that Colorado is not "country." They are not in the south. They do not have cowboys.

Nice try, Colorado.

Speaking of nice tries....Taylor Swift? You're my girl. I am sorry Kanye was rude to you. I even like some of your songs despite the fact that your lyrics speak more to 14 year olds than to 30 somethings. But even my love has a limit. You know what that limit is? Your rendition of Silent Night.

Just stop.

I turned that off in 2 seconds flat. So, so bad. I am all for making a song your own, but please make it your own GOOD song. Not this:

On and speaking of making a your own rendition, do NOT change the words to one of the most common Christmas songs around. It will not end good. I will not be happy and will probably be cursing on one of the most holy days.

The words to Little Drummer Boy do NOT include "I have no gifts to bring to give Jesus the King." Um, WHAT? And repeating that over and over without talking about actually PLAYING YOUR DRUM makes you a Little Drummer Boy fail.

Whew.

Maybe with the holiday passing I can get over my holiday rage and then my Mom will stop singing Christmas songs to pacify me. It makes her laugh. It makes me curse.*

Me: I hate these @#^@&# drivers!!

Mom: :starts singing We Wish You a Merry Christmas:

Me: I *WISH* you would stop singing!

Me: Look at that !#^&@#*&

Mom: :singing Silent Night:

Me: I wish there was something else *SILENT*

Me: What the @#^&@^# is that person doing?

Mom: :Oh Holy Night:

Me: Oh Holy F -

Despite my foul mouth, Santa loves me. Do you know how I know? Because he shouted out mine and my SIL's name at our latest Holiday Nights walk. We were super excited jumping up and down, waving our arms and shouting "SANTA". And just when it got quiet, I shouted with open arms:

I LOOOOOVVVVEEE YOU SANTA.

We had a moment.

That moment may have included "Santa" laughing into the microphone before moving on to another name, but it was a moment.

Merry Christmas, peeps. I hope Santa is good to each and every one of you!

*When don't I curse?

Halloween Came a Little Early

As we did last year, this past weekend we went on our family trip for an old time Halloween trick or treat walk. Unlike last year, B did not trip me on the bridge. I consider that a success. This year, our nephew L dressed like a dragon. A SCARY dragon:

Yes, he basically spent the entire trip staring in awe from the wagon while eating an apple. I think he was just trying to take it all in.

And in typical B fashion, he tried to snap millions of candids of me. I decided to return the favor. We have a lot of photos like this:

and this:

My favorite part of the walk however was the scarecrows. We knew from last year that there were three scarecrows and one of them was a real person that would scare whomever took a picture by it. This one was fake:

This one was real:

That is my brother-in-law and B's cousin's boy running from the scarecrow. My BIL convinced poor G to have his picture taken knowing that scarecrow was real. If you want to see the before picture, head over to my SIL Jenny's blog.* Speaking of Jenny, here is a great family shot by a huge thing of carved pumpkins:

Look how cool and spooky they are without a flash:

It was a really fun time especially since B's cousin was there and her kids all dressed up. Alas, we didn't play any cruel jokes on the people around us by claiming that our baby was missing upon exiting the bridge. However, the bridge was extra spooky his year because it had crazy lighting in there. That may be why B didn't trip me; he was distracted.

Happy Almost Halloween!

*You can also see more pictures of L and his skeleton pjs!

These Old Houses Part Deux

Back to our tour. As you have figured out, I took a LOT of pictures. I thought it best to break them up into two parts.

So, let's keep walking:

This is not the side of a house, it is the carriage house out back. I call it "super cool" because it is an entire apartment over the garage complete with kitchen, bedroom, living room and bathroom. It reminds me of the carriage house that Minnie Driver had in the movie Grosse Pointe Blank:

The backyard of that same house:

The tallest flower I have ever seen that was not a sunflower:

Full view of the back of the house:

As B and I were walking down the street, we saw this garden like thing where a house should be:

Then we noticed that house way back in the left corner behind the brick wall. B went in for a closer look:

Look how far away that house is! Now that is a yard!

One of the last houses we visited. Also, one of the longest lines, so I took a lot of pictures:

It may be hard to tell from the picture above, but the front of the house faces the side street rather than the main street. We have a house like that on our street. Unfortunately, the one on our street faces a main road.

This is the side of the house that faces the main street:

And right after I took the picture is when the twins I referenced in my last post arrived. MY twins. Yep, I looked down to discover that my blouse had basically become almost all the way undone and you could see everything I had. Thank god I was wearing a bra. Apparently B didn't notice. I would like to think no one else did either but I find that highly unlikely. B decided I wasn't fit to be taken out in public anymore. He may be right.

Back to the house. This is approaching the front door:

A view of the stained glass windows and details on the window sill:

Detail of the wood above the doorway:

This is an alley. An old school, accessible alley. B decided we should cut through it. I felt like a criminal. The dogs thought we were criminals based on their barking and growling.

I love how this house is covered in ivy. I do not love how that lady is in my picture:

However, I could not wait for the lady to move, because B was already on the move. Look how far ahead of me he was:

A home that looks good from across the street:

But, as you get closer, you see it needs some "TLC" as one lady put it:

I love this door:

Like a fairytale home:

And then the tour ends:

We had a great three hours and picked up some ideas for our house as well. I did not take any inside pictures because I thought it might be disrespectful to those that lived there. Actually, in some homes they told us we were not allowed. I kind of wish I had though. At least of those items B and I thought would work in our home.

So concludes our tour for this year folks! Until next year, you will have to be satisfied with pictures of our house.