Ramblings of a Riddler...A Horn, Iced Tea and 1993.

I was driving behind a mini van when I noticed that the driver and the passenger are in some sort of argument. The driver gives the passenger a shove. Then, out of nowhere, the passenger whips out a huge musical horn (like a big band horn) and blows it at the driver. Because it is so big, though, it is really blowing in front of his face and not by his ear. Just like that it is gone. Where did it go? Where did it come from? Was I seeing things?

***

I was so hot after the walking house tour this year that I decided I needed two Starbucks iced teas. Since they were both for me, I just got one straw. I met B at the car and told him I was glad he was there so it looked like I had bought him one, even though I hadn't.  We were driving off when I see B out of the corner of my eye pick up the tea to drink. Of course he has the one without a straw. Of course I watch to see what will happen. He tries to find the straw with his mouth three times before looking down and then looking at me and saying "How many times were you going to let me do that?"  Is forever a good answer?

***

I told B that I won my first win of June, a CD. He responded by saying "Way to win a prize from the past."  Yes, 1990 is supplying my prizes these days.

***

European Vacation: First Stop Amsterdam - Yes, Please!

So B and I took our own little European vacation. We had been talking about it forever, trying to decide where to go, when to go.  We got the bug on our Rome honeymoon and have been discussing it ever since. Then we bought a house. Then we got a dog.  The European vacation kept getting put on the back burner.  But, with a little help from a year end bonus, we decided to make it a reality.  

So B started planning it on his own.  Since France is so close to England and so close to The Netherlands, he decided we should move about the European Union.  Progress was slow. Finding hotel rooms was slow.  Fate, however, stepped in and we received a brochure from a travel company that I travelled with in law school. They were offering a vacation for the exact time we were looking for and to four countries we wanted to see Amsterdam (The Netherlands), Belgium, Paris (France) and London (England). Sold!

So we left on April 2nd for an 8 hour journey across the pond where it was 6 hours later and the next day.  Can anyone successfully sleep on an airplane?  On our Italy trip we got majorly screwed up.  This time, we had to stay awake as our hotel room wasn't ready until 2:00 p.m.  First stop?  Some coffee and a bagel. Well, maybe tea.

How cute is that plate?  They spoke nearly perfect English with the slight misunderstanding between B and the waiter that resulted in his small water being served in a shot glass. Seriously.

One thing we immediately noticed were all of the bicycles.  We later learned that Amsterdam is second only to China for the amount of bicycles (average 4 per family).  There were bikes everywhere. They even had their own paths, which we found out by almost being mowed down by one.  You quickly learn where you need to walk when your life depends on it.

Of course we went to the Red Light District. We went during the day. Then it just seems dirty, touristy and normal. At night? The same but with glowing red lights. We saw a woman ask one of the girls behind the glass door "how much?" only to be told by the girl she only does men.  B was also a favorite of one knocking, pouting girl, but he was too busy planning his next photo op to pay her any mind.

This was the area surrounding our hotel.  We loved our hotel. It had free wi fi and we brought our iPad. That meant B could continuously use Google Earth to "find us" even though we were technically always in the same place.

Our hotel had twin beds. We could not even push them together. Somehow I still managed to have more room on that little bed than I do in our king size with all of the animals, including B.

The weather held up pretty good. Fall like with no rain.  Perfect for walking all around town and planning on when you could move there, abandon your car and live a life of biking around like a mad man and woman.

Aside from bikes, the best way to get around is the tram.  Although it nearly cost us our marriage, we finally figured out the payment system and the routes and all was a piece of cake after that. Except for the time we were nearly separated.  It was like out of the movies.  Picture this:

I realize we are at the end of the line and the only ones left. I insist that we must GET OFF NOW. B gets off, but as I am waving my pass to leave, the doors start to close. B is pushing his button, I am pushing mine and we are panicking as I start to drive away BY MYSELF ON A TRAM IN A FOREIGN COUNTRY WHERE THEY SELL DRUGS AND SEX. I can still see B's face as I pull away looking like "Seriously?" while I shrug my shoulders and plan on how to get back to him. Where would this thing take me? Just as I got myself into a huge panic, the tram stopped at the next stop, four feet away.

Welcome to Europe!

I Can't Help That I Love My Husband More Than Joggers

Remember when I told you about that jogger wearing an iPod and how stupid she was when she almost ran in front of our car because she couldn't hear it? Well you know who heard me? Karma. So I almost hit a jogger without an iPod because I didn't see him despite the fact that my eyes were open and I was looking right at him.

My Mom had come over to visit and to see all that we had done around the house. She also came over to go to this HUGE neighborhood yard sale which turned out to be a HUGE fail. It also turned out to be one of the hottest days this year. Naturally.

So I decided to drive Mom around town and show her my local haunts. Kind of like this:

"And here is where the new Kroger will be, in that hole. That should be done in about 9 more months."

"That is our favorite Thai place"

"There's Starbucks"

"There's my bank...and there's MY HUSBAND."

"HI B!!!"

It was right about then that I started honking the horn and waving frantically as if I had never seen B before in my life. While that is happening, I am also turning into the parking lot to get to Starbucks. That is right about the time I look in my rear view mirror and see a jogger grimacing at me as he unwraps his body around the backside of my car.

And they say texting kills people. Apparently it is waving. Waving kills people. Write that down.

B drives over and I ask him if he saw that I almost hit that jogger. Yes, he did. Apparently he thought I was beeping at the jogger. Great. Poor jogger probably thought that too. Although, that does seem to imply that I actually SAW the jogger.

I will take that as a win.

It is Like the Movie Pay It Forward But No One Dies. I Think.

Hopefully I didn't ruin that movie for you. But, really? It came out in 2000. That is 10 years ago. a decade, if you will. If I cannot talk about the plot or twists of a movie that came out a decade ago, there is something wrong. Also, if you have not seen the movie yet, you probably will not. Reminds me of people that still won't say what the twist is in The Sixth Sense. Hell, that one came out the year before. Who are these people that do not see these movies?

Hi, Mom!

So I am going to go out on a limb in here and say I didn't ruin anything for anyone. But even if I did, it was for a good cause. Or about a good cause. Or just good. You choose.

The premise of Pay It Forward for those of you who saw it, well really for those of you that haven't, was for each person to do something kind and selfless for someone else who would in turn pay it forward. Get it? So clever with the title. Since then, I have heard a lot of stories about things like that happening, usually in fast food drive thrus, coffee houses, etc. I have never had it happen to me.

Until a few weeks ago, that is.

I was on my usual early morning kick to get my usual Starbucks drink. Seriously, even though I go through the drive thru, they know me. One time the drink orderer put in the wrong size but when I pulled up to the window, the guy said "Don't worry, we made the right size." Starbucks has serious talent. Someone should do a study as to how they get such great people working there.

Anyhow, I pulled up, slipped my card out of the window to pay and was greeted by my usual guy who, much to my surprise said:

Guy: Venti Chai?

Me: Yep.

Guy: It has already been paid.

Guy: The girl in front of you paid for yours.

Guy: She said she just wanted to do something nice for someone today.

Guy: ...

Guy: Are you okay?

There I sat with my card hanging out of my window and I think a bit slack jawed. After a brief moment I said "Yes, I am okay. Here, pay for the person behind me." After he made sure I was serious, he swiped my card and handed me my drink. As I left I said "make sure to tell the person behind me the same thing."

Mind you, at that moment in time I had no idea who was behind me, how many people were in the car, how many drinks had been ordered or what I had just agreed to pay. Regardless, I felt elated as I drove off. Someone who didn't know me, bought me a drink. And I did the same for someone else.

I wish I knew more about this woman. Heck, I don't even remember her car. I could not even tell you on any given day what kind of car or people are right behind me or right in front of me. But I do remember how great that feeling was and I know that I will continue to pay it forward every chance I get.

Random acts of kindness rock. Go get yourself one!

And get yourself a Venti nonfat, extra hot, Chai latte. Those things are yummy.

Only in Starbucks...Only in Vegas

Recently, one of my blogger friends and frequent commenters, walkingonsunshine, authored a post about the various people one can see in a Starbucks at any given time. Her post seemed very timely to me as I had just been to a few Starbucks and thought the very same thing. There are such a wide range of people in there. Although I am usually in and out, I am tempted to spend part of this weekend just sitting and watching. Last time when passing through, I saw the following people:

- an older couple each reading a different section of the newspaper

- a group of bicyclists complete with safety hats

- a young couple and their baby and the husband's computer

-an older hippy guy saying "One could argue that George Harrison is the greatest..."

-a law student studying at the same back table that I see her at every time. This time someone had interrupted her though.

-a middle aged gentleman reading Twilight

-young girls discussing why they were nauseous - hangover, lack of food, pregnancy

I have also learned that there is drama in every Starbucks around. However, only in Vegas would it involve two people speaking in different languages and one calling the other a liar:

As I am waiting in line for my new favorite drink*, the older couple in front of me takes their tall lattes** and head toward the couch. Right before that, I noticed a newspaper spread across the table. I seem to recall a smallish woman sitting on the chair next to the couch reading it. I only recall this because I remember thinking that I wanted to sit on the couch because it looked so comfy. The older couple takes it naturally. At that point the smallish woman returns and starts throwing out the paper

Man: HEY! You can't do that. I was going to read that.

Woman: Eet eez MINE.

Man: It is not yours.

Man: LIAR

Woman: Ce journal est le mien, vous l'imbécile! Les touristes américains stupides qui ne peuvent pas se permettre leurs propres journaux parce qu'ils gaspillent tout leur jeu d'argent d'argent!***

Man: {grumbles to wife}

Man: How rude can you be to throw out a perfectly good paper? LIAR

The French woman than proceeded to leave muttering in french the entire time. As she passed in front of me (I was facing the casino at a counter) she glared at me and said "Pshaw!" I don't think that is French. In fact, I don't even think that is a word. Isn't that just a sound? Did she just dismiss ME with a sound?

I love Starbucks. I love Vegas.

*Chai Tea Latte - YUM. I find a new drink every season or so.

**I am only this observational in Starbucks. That's a fact.

***I had to use a English to French translator to come up with that translation even though I had four years of French in high school. That is sad. My French teacher is turning in her grave which is interesting because (a) I am not sure she is dead, and (b) that was the example she gave us for accents "Accent grave goes to the left because you have to turn left at the grave." She even drew a cemetery on the chalkboard. Some things you never forget. You win French teacher! You win.

I Was a Rock Star Groupie Once

I have always loved musicians. Mostly I think it is their creativity and their ability to make music that people listen to and love. My heart really belongs to singers and songwriters though. When I hear a well crafted lyric, I swoon. It is no wonder, then, that I was a groupie for a while.

So now you are thinking I have wonderful stories to tell a la Almost Famous. Sorry to disappoint you, but my stories are not that glamorous and involve more driving than sex or drugs (as my Mom thanks the Lord and crosses herself). They do not involve touring the country on a bus with the band while living in a fantasy love affair with the guitarist. I loved that movie too though. Sigh.

Anyway, my stories are grittier and in most cases, more boring. Take a gander:

1. There was the time that I met Nelson. Don't know who Nelson is? Long blond haired twin rockers? No? Anyway, they were touring with Cinderella and some other hard rocking 90s glam rock band. My mom's friend knew a guy that worked the venue, my cousin and I threw his name around and the next thing you know, we were watching the concert from backstage. Albeit, it was the last song but still a rocking good time. And when I got cold, the roadie gave me a jacket. I then had to give it back.

2. I met Nelson again, up close and personal this time. The day after the last time. Yes, the roadie guys we met invited us to their next show a few cities away. Yes, a road trip. In our car - my cousin and I. Really not Almost Famous at all. This encounter involved watching a rehearsal where Nelson threw guitar picks at us, a meet and greet where we got our picture taken, front row seating to the concert and hanging with the roadies on the bus where I was asked to show ID (that would SO not happen in Almost Famous). My cousin, the underage one, however, was not. (That will show you Nelson roadies - we pulled a fast one on you!) This also prompted a picture with the roadies that my Dad later deemed to be "inappropriate" because he thought the one guy's hand was on my boob. Yes, because it is always my goal to show my father a picture of a guy holding my boob. This also prompted a decade long pen pal/friendship with the roadie. Wherever you are Louie, you rock!

3. Ratt was in town. Ratt is my favorite band. I hope I do not lose readers now. I know it is cheesy and bad, but I cannot help it. Same venue, same venue guy. Sadly, he could not get us back stage so he did the next best thing - he gave us the name of the hotel that the band was staying at and off we went. What we hoped to accomplish is anyone's guess. We got to the hotel and I was inches away from Stephen Pearcy - inches!! As we all headed into the hotel, wise security personnel seeing a gaggle of miniskirted big haired girls decided they needed to be carded. And just like that, it ended. We were not 21. Stephen Pearcy tried his best, exclaiming "These are ALL my girlfriends," but the security personnel did not care. As we left, circling the hotel, we saw a girl trying to sneak into a side door only to find it was locked. She wailed out to us as we drove by "but I will be 21 in just a couple of daysssssss." We felt her pain.

4. The Danzig disaster. Not that Danzig was a disaster, he was cool. The rest of the trip? Not so much. Yep, another road trip down a state or two to see Metallica, Danzig and whomever else was playing. To make a LONG story short - our ride was insane and after being pulled over for speeding would only drive 30 miles per hour. It took us HOURS to get there and we missed most of the show. Finagling our way back stage one at a time (um, for some reason our connection could only get one back stage pass), we ended up hanging with some roadies and then heading to the hotel to catch up with them and the band. The "band" ended up being Danzig. Next thing I know, I am stuck in a hotel room with five blonds and a guy (no idea why he was there) all waiting for Danzig who had made an appearance moments prior. After 20 insane minutes with screeching and mind numbing conversation, I realized my cousin had deserted me. So off I went to find her. Yeah, I found her in Danzig's room having a nice quiet conversation (no, really it WAS a conversation) with him. Total down to earth, cool guy that seemed bemused at the gaggle of girls I had left behind. No matter how cool he was, it did not make up for the four hour ride home while sitting in the middle of a two seater manual truck making conversation with a former enemy to ensure she didn't crash the car due to lack of sleep while my cousin snored beside me. Ah memories...

Which all brings me to today. I was at Potbelly's grabbing some lunch when I heard a version of a song that sounded really cool. Ten minutes later I realized that it was being played live by a guy in the corner who could sing REALLY good. That's when I remembered I love musicians.

As I left I turned and the guy looked straight at me and sang to me. My stomach jumped and for a moment I was transported back to earlier times and those rock star memories and thought "he looked at ME, the singer looked at ME!"

Then I looked at the short, very young, dorky guy behind the microphone, turned and walked out, closing the door, and those groupie days, behind me.

Can You See What I See?

You can now! And what I hear.  Here is the first installment, and maybe the last depending on my whim, of Seen and Heard.  These are little tidbits that cannot hold their own separate blog post, so I gathered them here for your amusement.  Enjoy!

HEARD - from B while on a plane to Vegas upon finding an advertisement for The Beast on our tray table - "Nobody puts Baby on a tray table."

SEEN - A man downing a packet of Splenda in Stabucks. From the packet. By itself. I know it says it tastes just like sugar, but it doesn't and it certainly isn't a pixie stick dude. Really.

HEARD - at Starbucks "This vanilla must be dehydrated" while holding the vanilla shaker "you know, because vanilla is usually liquid."

HEARD - "by now we were all supposed to be wearing jet packs" by B - all the time. What is with men's obsession with jet packs? Not going to happen. This is not the Jetsons.  And the dinosaur age was not like the Flintstones.

SEEN - two girls dressed for homecoming trying to get out of a restaurant door. First one pulled the first door. The second pulled the other door. Finally, they realized they had to push.

SEEN - giant empty bag of Swedish Fish in my office garbage, yet no Swedish Fish in sight ever. Are they hiding them from me? I only love those above all other candy.  Gonna have to go fishing. Yeah, I said that.  You know you chuckled.

HEARD - "isn't coming in today. Her hair is falling out or something."

SEEN - covered concept car being driven down the road. How fun can that be to drive? No one can tell what kind of car it is.  You look like you just forgot to take off the cover or something.

SEEN - guy with one of those grocery carts that has the baby seat fixed in it. He didn't have a baby. Just a bag of peas where the baby should be. Creepy or convenient?  

HEARD - "Hello" by guy on way into Starbucks that sounded an awful lot like a character in the Fashion Fits game I was playing nonstop at the time.  Coincidence or pure insanity? You decide.

And a random picture of Mooch and Chester in a rare moment of love circa New Year's Eve 2008:

Can you spare some change?

I just *love* to find money on the ground. It started with pennies and the old phrase "see a penny, pick it up, all the day you have good luck." Then, it spread to dimes after I read an article about angels supposedly leaving dimes on the ground for you so that you know they are watching over you. Now, I just scour the ground for money. Yes, I am that crazy person that will stop in her tracks for a penny or a dime or if I am REALLY lucky, a quarter!

So the money scrounger in me was on high alert today at Starbucks when a lady found some money lying on the ground and asked if it belonged to anyone. This was REAL money - you know, the paper kind? I remember thinking WHY- why didn't you look down??? It was all folded up and looked like it had slipped out of someone's wallet in their rush for a venti half caf latte with room. She asked me first. I, in a moment of honesty and compassion, said it wasn't mine and directed her to the two people who had been in front of me.

The first woman said it wasn't hers because she only had a gift card. The second guy also said it was not his. So I told the woman it was her lucky day and the money was now hers. So the second guy, the one who said it was NOT his money, then asks "is it a hundred"? with a tone that seemed to indicate if she answered yes, it was his after all. Are you kidding me? Apparently he cant be bothered to claim anything less than a hundred dollars. Yeah, right. And yes, I did say that out loud, in his presence. I believe the woman's response was something like "if it was a hundred it would be mine."

Now, what kind of money hungry fool is going to say something like "is it a hundred" after he just indicated he had not lost any money. Give me a break. And I thought I was bad. Now picking up pennies doesn't seem to be that big of a deal.