Sex, Marry or Kill - Dexter Edition. Which Would You Choose?

Hey Dexter fans!

Tonight is the season premiere, in about a half hour.  I, sadly, will not be watching it with you as we are in a fight with our cable company and the end result so far is no Showtime.  Go figure.  Luckily, I was asked to write an advance review for Daemon's TV and was able to watch the first three episodes of this season.  You can read my review here.

I think this is going to be a fantastic season. I liked what I have seen so far.  If you watch it, come back and tell me what you thought or leave a comment on my review.

On to more pressing matters...

As I was watching the new episodes, I kept saying to myself, "I LOVE Dexter." And I do. But that got me thinking - could I REALLY love Dexter? Like LOVE, LOVE? As in 'til death do us part?

Here's the thing. He is a serial killer.  But he only kills bad people?  But he loves doing it. And he only kills bad people because he was told that is how he should do it to avoid getting caught. If not for the code, wouldn't he just kill anyone without a second thought?  Therein lies the conflict.

Could you be with a killer if you knew he/she would only kill those that truly deserved it? Could you trust that person?  Would that person make you feel safe or terrified? I have my own thoughts, but would love to hear what you have to say.

So, let's start it out this way.  If you HAD to choose one, which would you choose to do with a serial killer?

1. Have sex
2. Marry
3. Kill

For the ladies, it is Dexter or someone like him. For the men, it is the female version of Dexter who is smoking hot.

Take it away...which would you choose?

And then check out what Daemon's readers would choose here.

Exciting Holiday News That Has Nothing to Do With the Holiday But Everything to Do About Me

Remember all of the special breakthrough posts the last couple of weeks where I would direct you to Daemon's TV for a special guest blog I wrote about a particular TV show? Well, that was actually a trial period where Daemon's decided if they liked my writing style and I decided if I liked writing the reviews. The trial period is up.

I am in!

I am now an official member of Daemon's TV. My bio is up here. I will continue reviewing Pretty Little Liars (on ABC Family on Tuesdays at 8pm), Hung (on HBO on Sundays at 10:00), and will also pick up Mad Men on AMC when the new season starts this month and a new show called Melissa & Joey (starring Melissa Joan Hart and Joey "WHOA" Lawrence) when it premieres next month.

I am very excited about this opportunity and cannot thank Daemon's TV enough. Also, thank you to all that read my reviews and gave me feedback. Please keep reading. And if there is an awesome show that you have been watching, I urge you to read the reviews on Daemon's and comment. They also have great contests.

Posting will still continue here in the regularly scheduled random way it always has about the totally insane things that float through my brain or that cross my path.

In other words, business as usual here folks.

Happy Fourth!

Special Breakthrough Post: Check Out My Review of This Week's Episode of Pretty Little Liars

I have another guest review up at Daemon's TV for this week's episode of Pretty Little Liars. I am really loving this show! It is on at 8:00 p.m. on ABC Family and this was only the third episode of the entire show, so you still have time to watch it and catch up. Join me, won't you? I promise you will like it.

Read my review here.

Now back to our regularly scheduled posting...

Special Breakthrough Post: Check Out My New Guest Post at Daemon's TV

Hey guys!

I have another guest post up at Daemon's TV this week. This time I reviewed the season premiere of HBO's show Hung. If you haven't watched it, you should give it a try. It has a bit of humor, a bit of drama, and a lot of sex. It also features Anne Heche who is always entertaining.

Anyhow, read my review here.

Now back to our regularly scheduled posting...

Special Breakthrough Post: Check Out My Guest Review of Pretty Little Liars

Hey everyone! I wrote a guest review for Daemon's TV. The review is of yesterday's episode (#3) of Pretty Little Liars on ABC Family TV. If you have been watching the show or just want to read my review, please head on over.

While you are there, check out the other reviews and articles (and contests!).

Now back to our regularly scheduled posting...

Why Yes, I Am a Beautiful Mermaid and I Will Accept Your Award...

J from She's Country recently bestowed the Mermaid Splash Award upon me:

The rules are as follows:

1. Put the logo on your blog/post.

2. Nominate up to 9 blogs which allure, amuse, bewitch, impress or inspire you.

3. Be sure to link to your nominees within your post.

4. Let them know that they have been splashed by commenting on their blog.*

5. Remember to link to the person from whom your received your Splash award.

6. Have F~U~N

So, without further adieu, my nominees are as follows:

1. Molly from These Little Moments - her posts always amuse me, like this one about leggings.
2. saratogajean from Bad Mutha Fudruckers - her posts amuse, allure, bewitch and impress me. And her paint drawing skills for the blog? Incredible. Check out this hilarious post.
3. phishez of Sanity Optional. She doesn't post frequently, but when she does, it is always worth it.
4. Jennifer from Our Family Blog - because she is my SIL, funny as hell, and she blogs about my nephew. How could you resist a toddler that likes National Lampoon's Christmas?
5. Tammy from mandatorybloghere - what's not to love? She drunk decorates cookies and shoots houses around her neighborhood (my favorite feature!).
6. Dolce from La Dolce Vita - this girl cracked me up before she got pregnant. I was relieved to find nothing has changed since the baby - with a post entitled Don't Touch the Boob Bag, I think you would agree.
7. rachel of Confessions of a Jersey Girl - I have been reading rachel's blog for quite some time and have watched her go through ups and downs and so many events which is exactly why I am nominating her. Her life story is compelling and growing and you are able to watch it all unfold, no holds barred.
8. patricia of bloom where you're planted - I originally found patricia through her previous blog, Wags to Riches, and we became Twitter buddies. When she started a new blog, I made sure to follow. Her blog is full of pictures, random facts about her, stories and her new house! Also? How could I not love a woman whose favorite word is "albeit" because it is "four words in one"?
9. Catherinette at Bridget Jones Has Nothing On Me - I know if I ever need an immediate laugh or puke, I should head to her blog. She has the best TMI stories, a Just the Tip Tuesday feature that you should check out, and is generally awesome.

Do these gals a favor and check them out. You won't regret it!

*I pretty much broke this rule. I am just too lazy. You don't even want to know how long it took me to put together this post. It is embarrassing.

Any True Blood Lovers Out There?

I am getting ready to watch the latest episode of True Blood tonight and it got me wondering, are there any True Blood fans out there in my blogland?

Better yet, have any of you read the Sookie Stackhouse series that the show is based on?

Anyone?

If you can answer yes to any of the above, come share my latest obsession with me!

Oh, and more Eric please.

You May Call Me the Queen of Horror and Open Letter to CBS

Have you been watching Harper's Island?

If not, you have been missing out. The series finale was last night and not only was it exciting, tense, and sometimes puzzling, but...

it also proved that I am the Queen of Horror.

You see, for those who did not follow it, Harper's Island was a 13-episode show involving a group of childhood friends and their families going back to Harper's Island for a wedding of one of the couples. However, for one girl in particular, Abby, it was her first return to the island since a serial killer killed 6 people and strung them from trees, including Abby's mother. The series promised that one or more main characters would be killed each episode and it did not disappoint. It also hinted that the killer was among them. The characters began falling "one by one" in each episode (as the creepy child sang in the beginning) while viewers tried to decide who was the killer and/or killers. It was going to be like a mini horror movie spread out over a season and wrapped up at the end. You know I like me some horror movies.

I named a suspect on the Daemon's TV forums around the 5th episode. (Note: if you follow the link you will learn the plot and the name of the killer). I declared the person the killer numerous times again here, and here, and here. It turns out I am right, so I thereby anoint myself Queen.

For those of you who have not yet seen it and plan to watch it, I will not spoil it for you here.

For those of you who HAVE seen it and want to discuss it and the end, leave a comment! (Note: Comments may contain spoilers.)

And for those of you that like talking about and dissecting shows, go to Daemon's TV. It's a great site that has write ups on all of the current and upcoming shows and no, I am not paid to say that. I am currently following the True Blood reviews. Yes, I am a nerd.

And, now, an open letter to CBS:

Dear CBS:

Thank you for adding Harper's Island to your lineup. More importantly, thank you for seeing it through to the end. I know that it was quite the ratings disappointment which prompted you to move it to Saturday nights, but I, for one, am so happy you decided to run all 13 episodes for those loyal viewers. In fact, I believe those loyal viewers may have turned on more people to the show with each new episode.

There is nothing more disappointing than watching a series with an arc or mystery and getting invested in the characters, only to have the network drop it in the middle due to poor ratings and leaving the regular viewer with no answer, resolution or closure. Yes, Reunion* and FOX** I am looking at you!!***

So, for hanging in until the end....CBS, I thank you.

Dani

*Reunion was another mystery show about high school classmates, one of whom which was murdered, who reunite for their 20 year reunion and you had to piece together the puzzle of the murder and who you thought the killer was. They even waited until around the 5th or 6th episode to name the victim.

**FOX would be the network that, unlike CBS, decided to just cancel the show after disappointing ratings leaving viewers such as myself saying "WTF?" and "I hate you FOX". Well, maybe just me.

***I am still bitter over the whole thing.

Crime Watch Wednesday: Twice the Trouble!

This week's crime watch chronicles brings us the story of a bicycle struck by a car. Not just any bicycle, however. This was a tandem bicycle. Observe:

A driver struck a tandem bicycle as he turned right at the intersection. The driver stated that he did not see the bike as it entered the street from the sidewalk. He made sure to check on both the cyclists to see if they were injured. They were not. Despite the rear tire being bent, the cyclists continue on their way, in tandem.

Okay, maybe I added those last two words, but let's review. You could not see a tandem bike? How could you miss it unless when deciding to turn right you only looked left? That can be the only explanation. Knowing the people around here I am surprised that a baby buggy seat thing was not attached to the back thereby making the tandem bike about two cars lengths long. How do you steer one of those things? I have enough trouble with my cruiser.

On another note...I recently spotted a person riding a tandem bicycle alone. Alone! It was the saddest thing I ever saw. It does not matter that the person was smiling. I know in their heart, they were crying from loneliness.

One person should not ride a bicycle made for two.

Fact.

My First Live Twittering Event..

As you may be aware, last Sunday was the Golden Globes. Yes that was about five days ago. I know I am rather late in getting to it, but it has been a crazy week and I had scheduled posts to ensure that posts happened. So this is late.  Of course that means I had to go back on twitter to see what the heck I had posted, but I pulled off the following gems for you. 

Let me tell you something...live twittering/blogging is not easy. In fact, I can remember very little from the just over three hour awards show because I was too concerned about commenting.  I give props to those that do it on a regular basis (especially people like Andy that save me from having to actually watch the show. I mean besides Andy, who is actually watching Bromance? Jenny?).

So here, without further adieu are actual tweets from that night. Explanations are offered in brackets:

8:06 p.m. okay, Sting looks kind of crazy

8:09 p.m. Springsteen, however, still hot

8:09 p.m. @Catherinette agreed about Mickey. He sure looks that part - washed up wrestler

8:17 p.m. I didn't see this movie, should I? [in reference to The Wrestler]

8:18 p.m. Simon Baker must be short because we all know Eva is and he does not appear to be that much taller than she

8:23 p.m. Who is Demi calling? Her whole family is at the Globes

8:25 p.m. Don Cheadle looks different without hair

8:29 p.m. DEXTER - yes [right before win announced]

8:30 p.m. NOOOOO - He isn't even there to accept. Dexter is THERE. Damn you all! [After someone else won in that category]

8:31 p.m. Okay, at least True Blood won something. All is forgiven. For now. [when Anna Paquin won]

8:33 p.m. Not good hair, Drew. Not good hair. [And what was with the Drew and Jessica Lange love fest? It started when they arrived and continued until they presented and creeped me out!]

8:39 p.m. I don't get the Jonas Brothers phenomenon. I must be old.

8:42 p.m. Rare to see Depp on this side of the pond. Don't I sound so British?

8:52 p.m. I like how Pierce Brosnan appeared to be impressed by Jake #goldenglobes [this is where I decided it would be wise to post to the goldenglobes part of Twitter, only an hour into it]

8:53 p.m. Robert Downey Jr and Brad Pitt at the same table? Yum #goldenglobes

8:56 p.m. not sure I would want to watch a whole movie about hanging chads. Just saying #goldenglobes 

8:56 p.m. Tom does not have time to stop and chat people, he has an award to accept!! #goldenglobes [referring to Tom Hanks trying to get up to the stage while people trying to congratulate him - he practically ran them over]

8:58 p.m. um, how embarrassing. Way to humiliate your daughter Demi. Doesn't she have it bad enough already? #goldenglobes [After Demi took the stage and told Rumer who was a Golden Globe girl, or whatever they are called, to stop hunching. In front of the entire audience. On national TV]

8:58 p.m. RDJ better win!! #goldenglobes [apparently he felt the same way according to some recent blind gossip]

8:58 p.m.a lot of good actors in this category. Forgot about Heath. Damn it! 

8:58 p.m. Of course - go Heath! [a lot happened in this minute]

8:59 p.m. this makes me sad about Heath all over again :( #goldenglobes

9:11 p.m. and John Adams is cleaning house. Never saw it. Of course. #goldenglobes

9:19 p.m. Wow Seth Rogen lost a lot of weight! #goldenglobes

9:22 p.m. I can't just think of David Duchovny the same anymore. All I see is SEX

9:23 p.m. who is the tool that got up and got right in the way of Alec on his way up stage. Could you not have waited a minute to leave your seat ? [Alec Baldwin almost got knocked over on his way up to the stage. And no it wasn't by Tom Hanks]

9:24 p.m.Could those accountants look anymore stiff if they tried? #goldenglobes 

9:28 p.m. WHAT THE HECK Renee? What the heck? Looks SO bad #goldenglobes

9:30 p.m. I almost didn't recognize Megan Fox. She looks...strange. #goldenglobes

9:31 p.m. Why does Terence look so surprised every time Megan speaks? #goldenglobes [he shouldn't have been surprised as they were presenting together. Yet he was. Maybe she wasn't supposed to have any lines?]

9:34 p.m. Love Glenn Close but what the heck is she wearing #goldenglobes

9:44 p.m. Not a big fan of musicals. Except Grease, of course [in reference to Mamma Mia]

9:44 p.m. HI P Diddy, Puff Daddy, Puffy, Sean Paul - what is your name again? #goldenglobes

9:48 p.m. Tina Fey always looks so humble, even just sitting in the audience #goldenglobe

9:49 p.m. my new catch phrase "Good gravy" I love it! [I immediately forgot this was my new catch phrase and haven't used it since]

10:14 p.m. I hate when the presenters shush the audience. It bugs me. #goldenglobes [apparently I missed the big shush by JLo in the beginning. In fact when I saw her I wondered who she was related to, not even realizing she was Jenny from the Block and all]

10:14 p.m. um, someone just cursed. Oops. #goldenglobes

10:18 p.m. nice Spanish accent Sandra #goldenglobes [pronouncing something in Spanish, no doubt]

10:19 p.m. nice slam to the old men Sandra #goldenglobes [slamming really old men for dating/sleeping with really young girls. You go girl! Er, woman...Sandra...]

10:19 p.m. where is James Franco? So Yummy! #goldenglobes [turns out he was studying and getting an education and all. Good for you James. Priorities, friends, priorities. Now back to my mindless dribble...]

10:29 p.m. um, nobody thought that was funny? That was funny #goldenglobes [Guy Ritchie being fired as Madonna's assistant joke? Totally funny. Not boo worthy really. I love you Sascha!]

10:30 p.m. really? Wait, what category are we in ? #goldenglobes

10:31 p.m. huh. Okay

10:38 p.m. LOL Mark is shorter than Cameron! [yes, Mark Wahlberg is short an Cameron is tall, but still funny to see]

10:39 p.m. Okay, she may really lose it this time #goldenglobes [Kate Winslet's second win]

10: 40 p.m. told you she would lose it #goldenglobes. She beat Angelina! [She immediately forgot who Angelina was]

10:40 p.m. how many times does someone win best supporting actress and best actress? #goldenglobes

10:42 p.m. I wonder what her husband thinks about that comment ;) #goldenglobes [upon Kate declaring her undying love for Leo. Or something like that]

10:44 p.m. they should have dressed like their characters. That would have been fun #goldenglobes [when Mad Men won]

10:46 p.m. thank God. I have to pee

10:52 p.m. I mean is this really the same guy from 9 1/2 weeks? #goldenglobes [again dumbfounded by Mickey Rourke. Then dreaming about that movie. Sigh]

10:53 p.m. does he have gold teeth? #goldenglobes [What up Mickey? What up?]

10:54 p.m. the only winner to get the music. #goldenglobes [turns out wouldn't be the only one, just the first]

10:55 p.m. I wonder how late I will be able to stay up and watch this [didn't realize we were at the end]

11:02 p.m. and more music. Gee - it is best picture, can't he talk. We are all up anyway #goldenglobes

11:02 p.m. I made it through the whole thing!! Yay me! #goldenglobes

and finally, a short time later:

11:33 p.m. told my husband I live tweeted the Golden Globes and he asked if that was boxing. Love him!

*Yes, I knew absolutely nothing about the movies, had not seen most of them, and most of my tweets were about the appearance of people on stage. Shallow? Yes. Fun? Most definitely.  See you at the next award show!

It's Always Christmas in Vegas!

This year B and I spent Christmas in Vegas with his parents and his sister, brother-in-law and nephew. It was quite a departure from our normal Christmas events which usually consist of Christmas Eve dinner with B's relatives, gift exchange between us that night, Christmas with B's family on Christmas Day morning and with my family for dinner that evening. Lucky for you all, B and I still exchanged gifts on Christmas Eve. B gave me an awesome little digital camera which is responsible for all of the pictures on this post. Hopefully having my own camera will make the blog more pictureful in the future! At least that is my goal.

We set off for Vegas EARLY Christmas morning. My nephew, who would be spending his first Christmas in the City of Sin, had never flown before. He did not much like it. Especially the part where we sat on the runway for 45 minutes while he was supposed to be eating so they could de-ice the plane and secretly fix something (funny how they ran right over the word "engineer" in their announcement).

Christmas was different in Vegas. It was a blast, but at certain times you were unaware it was even a holiday. Thankfully, some of the hotels, like the Bellagio, had elaborate decorations that I snapped pictures of with my new camera:

And while our hotel did not decorate, it seems that every room was themed at Planet Hollywood, including ours.  Our theme was "Unforgiven" the Clint Eastwood movie.  We had a great table that contained props:

And this was hanging on our wall:

The best part of being in Vegas?  Winning of course:

Yes, that is only $36.00, but it is on the penny machine and was above the $20.00 I put in. What can I say? I am a big spender.  I tried to get a picture of my super cool win, but instead took a picture of my purse.  That is not posted.  

And remember when I said I got a new bobblehead?  It was Santa!  This bobblehead was from Mom a/k/a B's Mom.

Santa totally approved of our trip to Vegas. See him nodding his head up and down? That is the stamp of approval

Thanks Santa!*

*And of course a very special thank you to B's Mom and Dad who planned and took us on this wonderful trip.

**For more pictures of my nephew's first Christmas go here, here, here, and here.

A Not So Secret Santa Stuffed Stocking

Say THAT three times. A riddle for your tongue.  But not a real riddle...I apologize to all of you riddle searchers who must be disappointed in this blog, but I will discuss that at a later time.  This post is all about the Stuffed Stocking I won from Brandy, a fellow blogger. 

I entered her giveaway and won a lovely stuffed stocking which arrived today.  Want some pics? Of course you do!  Here is the stocking:

Look at that detail! I tried to capture it up close:



Inside the stocking was all of this:



In case you cannot see it clearly. The stocking contained:

Fun holiday socks
Cookie cutters
Holiday Dish Towel
Little bags to put your cookies in and give out to people
Sprinkles and decorating gel; and
Starbucks GC in a cute little handmade holder. Check it out:




And the little button on the back:

I am in love with it and will cherish it always Brandy!

As for you dear readers, you really should check out Brandy's blog. Not just because she gave away this lovely prize package, but because it is a pretty awesome blog:

Want to see tattoos? Check.

Want to make a kickass cookie that you will not stop eating until you throw up? Check.

Want to see a beautiful Christmas tree involving Harley Davidson? Check.

Want to see how she only spent 72 cents at a trip to CVS that included, among other things, a Crockpot? Check.

Want to read one of the greatest post titles ever that is really all about Beyonce playing Wonderwoman? Check.

Everything you thought you wanted and more!  Check Brandy's blog out!

Thanks again Brandy. Mucho holiday love to you and yours.

And Merry Christmas Eve to the rest of you that celebrate!

Winter Wonderland

Winter is definitely upon us as we received in excess of 6 inches of snow on Friday. I don't know what the official measurements were because I don't pay attention to that kind of thing, but I know it was A LOT. That is my official measurement anyway. 

All that snow made for a terrific snow day for many people. Not I, though. I braved the weather to get to the office, make a good impression and GET THINGS DONE. Three quarters of our office did not. Know what I am? A sucker! That's right. I did get free pizza lunch out of it but that did not make up for the lack of sleeping-in-and-lounging-around-all-day-while-looking-out-the-window-at-the-cold-instead-of-driving-in-it that I missed.

Later that night, with my co-sucker by my side, B, we once again braved the weather to go out with friends. That ended nicely though. The snow had stopped, the idiots were off the road, and we did not feel like we were endangered at all. Always good for a Friday night. On the way there I told B about my fascination/obsession with kicking the snow clumps that form between tires and wheel wells. Yes I am really a six year old. I saw a car with a kick ass snow clump and pointed it out to show B what I was talking about. He then challenged me to get out of the car run over and kick it. Deciding I would rather not get shot, I declined. That did not stop us from giggling about it as if it really had happened.

All juiced up about the possibility of kicking snow, I noticed that there was ice forming at the bottom of the window. I decide to let out my pent up kicking frustration by knocking out the piece of ice. Wise move, as I am sure you can imagine. I rolled down the window, punched at the ice and a piece FLEW UP AND HIT ME IN THE HEAD before making its way to the back seat. I screamed:

Me: AHHHH a piece of ice just hit me in the head

B: What? Come on.

Me: Didn't you see it? AHHHH it just came up and hit me in the head

B: I saw no such thing.

Me: It happened! It really happened. The ice is in the back seat. I will find it!

I could not find it. This led B to believe my story was a lie. It was not. When we stopped at his parents house, he went into the back seat to retrieve something and found a huge chunk of ice. He said "Huh" like he wasn't a Doubting Thomas the whole time. I took revenge on him by running around and kicking the snow clumps under his wheel wells while he was inside (say THAT three times fast). Yes, that is my idea of revenge.

Friday night was not the last of our winter adventures. On Saturday we accompanied B's family to the annual tradition of walking through the Village. Last year it was SO cold with high force winds. This year - still cold minus huge winds. I guess that is an improvement. Oh, and this year I had long johns, a definite improvement. I also did not trip and fall to my knees like last year. Although I did trip. this time I managed to stay upright. Ahhhhh good times.

This is the same place that B and I went with them for the Halloween walk where B proceeded to act like paparazzi and follow us around taking pictures. The same was true on Saturday. He got some good ones which you can see here and here at my SIL's blog, And Baby Makes Five. He was so good in fact, that like true paparazzi and celebrities, we tended to forget he was there. This resulted in a lot of Where's B? Did he go ahead of us? Is he behind us? Is he playing on the snow hill? You think I am kidding about the snow hill. I am not. Check out those links.

B and my BIL decided that they would race to the top of one of the big snow hills and play King of the Hill. You know, like all of the other children. In fact, they nearly killed some children in their quest. I threatened to reveal their true ages to the crowd to make them come down. This really struck a chord with B who is older than my BIL. Of course they could not just walk down or anything. BIL decided to slide down. B, not one to be shown up, decided to tumble down in what can only be described as a painful maneuver. In fact, if you have ever played Wii Fit ski slalom and your mii doesn't quite make it from the start and begins to roll like a huge snowball, that was B. He assured us he was not hurt. I was not so sure about that.

Other highlights included Santa up on the balcony calling out not only my nephew's name, but also my SIL's and mine. I was so excited that when Santa cried out WELCOME, I cried back THANK YOU SANTA. I am bound to get lots of presents for this.

There was also real live reindeer, glass blowing, tin making (for which B had quite the fascination and many questions. Tin making may be in his future. Too bad it is not lucrative), yummy turkey dinner and pumpkin pie. Not bad for a Saturday night.

Best part? A new bobblehead. He will be making his debut soon. Kind of like Santa.

I wonder what the new bobblehead is...

What's Pork Got to Do With It?

Lately (as in once every three or six months) I have been attempting to cook. I will be the first to admit that I am not a good cook...yet. Of course, I do not cook very often either. Practice makes perfect, or at least edible I am sure. Somehow I am more comfortable with baking, although not yet completely from scratch which is a goal. So, the attempts at cooking have been interesting to say the least.

My very first attempt to cook us dinner was years ago when B and I first moved in together. I made some honey mustard chicken something. The first problem is that B does not like mustard. The second problem is that I completely forgot. When I retell the story I like to say that I had made it just for myself, after all he was not home at the time. The truth is, I forgot he didn't like mustard in my excitement to cook something and it sounded good to me. It was not good. Not. Good. It had too much of a mustard taste. I know, ironic?

Fast forward a couple of years (yes, except for a one time taco fiesta, it took me years to get over that awful meal and probably took B that same amount of time to be willing to try anything else I cooked). The next dish was lasagna. How can you mess that up, right? Ha! I did. Looking back at the recipe, I now realize what I had done. Even then I had an idea, but was too scared to stray from the recipe. I am not a cook after all, what do I know? The result - lasagna soup basically. That lasagna had so much liquid in it, it took me forever to figure out where to find the noodles! B's response? "It tastes okay." Yes, he ate it. What a trooper!

Disheartened by the lasagna debacle, it took me a while to try something else. Next up? Some baked chicken with cheese. How hard could THAT be, right? You cannot mess up baked chicken. Here's a fact - you cannot mess up baked chicken, however, you can make it look ugly. That chicken dish was good. B said so. What he also said was, "you sure aren't into aesthetics when you cook, are you?" Listen here bub! This isn't a four star restaurant! As a matter of fact, this is a no star place! I am trying to make edible meals, presentation be damned at this point!

Finally, I decided to branch out, make things a bit easier. How can anything be easier than baked chicken you ask? A crockpot!! And now, my friends, we get to the point of this post. I found a super easy recipe for pork loin which was coincidentally on sale at the grocery store. Eureka! Wait...does B like pork? You know I cannot remember his likes/dislikes at any given time (see above). Let me ask:

Me: Hey! Do you like pork?

B: What do you mean?

Me: Do...you...like...pork?

B: What kind of pork?

Me: What do you mean what kind of pork? Pork pork.

B: I like ham.

Me: Okay, I am not talking about ham. I am talking about pork. Like pork chops, pork loin...

B: I like ham.

That was the extent of the conversation because I gave up. Instead, I made pot roast which B declared was "good." See? I am getting closer to being a one star cook. So much closer. The pork talk passed. Time passed. But the pork was always on my mind. It was brought up again yesterday while at Chipotle (yum giant burritos - I LOVE you). After I had ordered, I looked back to find B ordering his usual - a CARNITAS burrito. That is right my friends, pork. As I watched them put the pork in his burrito, I remarked how gross it looked (it did look gross) and then it hit me:

Me: Wait! You like pork.

B: What?

Me: Pork! You like pork. Your burrito is pork.

B: And?

Me: Remember I asked you if you liked pork and you did not know?

B: No, I told you I didn't like ham.

Me: I didn't ask you if you liked ham.

B: Well I like spiral ham, like you know honeyed ham?

Me: I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT HAM!

B: Ham and pork come from the same place.

Yep, and milk and beef come from the same place too, but when I ask you if you like beef, it is not acceptable to answer "I like milk."*

So, it is back to the drawing board for me and dinners. I think I will just avoid the whole pork discussion until I run out of other things to cook in the crockpot. That could take years, or at least 365 days if I follow A Year of Crockpotting. (A great blog, by the way. You should check it out).

*I do realize that comparing milk/beef to pork/ham is like comparing apples to oranges, but I like all fruit.

**Have you ever googled the question "what is the difference between pork and ham"? I just did. About a million results. Who knew everyone pondered this question?

Tag...You're It!

Jenny from Our Family Blog tagged me about 10 days ago (bad blogger I am to wait so long to respond!!).  Here are the tagging rules:

1. Post the rules on your blog

2. Write 6 random things about yourself

3. Tag 6 people at the end of your post

4. If you're tagged, DO IT and pass on the tag

Here are 6 random things about me:

1.  I "file" away things in my brain alphabetically, especially names. So even if I cannot come up with the name, I can usually come up with the first letter ("Starts with a...")

2. My favorite guilty pleasure is Devil Wears Prada, both the movie and the book. I have probably seen the movie 20 times and read the book at least 7

3. Back in my WAY younger days, I actually thought that if I wrote a letter to Kirk Cameron of Growing Pains, he would fall in love with me and come find me. (Boy was I naive and did I have a high opinion of my writing, or what?)

4. I have been backstage at quite a few concerts and may have been considered a groupie (minus the sex and drugs - I know, took the fun right out of that statement, right?)

5. I have a serious addiction to Lifetime movies although I have probably seen all, if not most, of them.

6. I am actually on my second career, my first having sustained me through a LONG drawn out trek to a bachelor's degree. 

and a bonus fact because I feel like it:

Bonus: I love all things vampire (yay True Blood). In fact one of the first gifts I received from B was An Encyclopedia of Vampires.  Some thought it was a strange gift. I, however, thought it was one of the most thoughtful gifts I had ever received because it showed that he took the time to learn what I liked.

That is me in 6 sentences plus a bonus one. Now, I am going to tag the following six bloggers but with the caveat that they do NOT need to participate or answer questions.  I just want you to know how cool their blogs are and to check them out for yourselves:

1.  Starting Over at 24 - a tale of a brokenhearted man and his journey back through dating. Well, actually, it is a lot more than that. But you have to go there to check it out and see why I like it.

2.  FB of Fabulously Broke in the City - hers is a personal finance blog but so much more.  She has embarked on a self-employment path and quite often blogs about fashion.  And her weekly link love helps me find all the coolest blogs.

3. Kasmira of What I Wore Today - thanks to this blogger who posts her outfit every day, I have tried to spice up my usual conservative look and have received many compliments. She also turned me back on to thrift stores and vintage - which led me to the best fish necklace which will be the subject of a future post.

4. Annie at The Daily Digress - her posts and stories never cease to crack me up.  How she finds the time to blog with children and a family, I will never know, but I am so glad she does.

5.  Nurse K of Crass-Pollination: An ER Blog - because I find ER tales intriguing and her sense of humor/sarcasm sharp, witty and right up my alley.

6.  Daddy Likey - a fashion blog but so much more (aren't blogs always so much more?).  I especially like her imagined conversations with models posts as well as her Five Men Fashion First Impressions where she asks five men in her family their first thoughts on a ridiculous piece of fashion. Hilarity always ensues.

To end this game of tag I would just like to say that I read about 120 blogs (how sad is that?) and love them all.  I will try to showcase more of them for you in the future, but the above list is a start so get to reading!