Christmas Songs Make Me Sing, Curse and Profess My Love for Santa

In preparation for today and tomorrow, I decided to start listening to Christmas music on my satellite radio in the car. Of course, I was too lazy to look up what stations were offering such music so when one station mentioned a country Christmas station, I dialed in. I figured it didn't matter if I wasn't that fond of country music, it was Christmas music after all? How bad could it be?

Oh boy.

First of all, apparently country Christmas songs like to talk about Christmas geographically. For example, there is "Tennessee Christmas." Then I heard "It's Christmas in Texas, Y'all." No kidding. I am pretty sure it is Christmas everywhere (at least those places that celebrate Christmas which includes all 50 states). Also, I really don't think of Texas as country. Is it because of the cowboys? I guess that is plausible.

But "Colorado Christmas"? Now it is getting ridiculous. First, I am not sure what the difference is between a Colorado Christmas and a Tennessee Christmas and despite hearing both songs no less than 1,000 times, I didn't bother to listen to the lyrics to tell you. However, I know for a FACT that Colorado is not "country." They are not in the south. They do not have cowboys.

Nice try, Colorado.

Speaking of nice tries....Taylor Swift? You're my girl. I am sorry Kanye was rude to you. I even like some of your songs despite the fact that your lyrics speak more to 14 year olds than to 30 somethings. But even my love has a limit. You know what that limit is? Your rendition of Silent Night.

Just stop.

I turned that off in 2 seconds flat. So, so bad. I am all for making a song your own, but please make it your own GOOD song. Not this:

On and speaking of making a your own rendition, do NOT change the words to one of the most common Christmas songs around. It will not end good. I will not be happy and will probably be cursing on one of the most holy days.

The words to Little Drummer Boy do NOT include "I have no gifts to bring to give Jesus the King." Um, WHAT? And repeating that over and over without talking about actually PLAYING YOUR DRUM makes you a Little Drummer Boy fail.

Whew.

Maybe with the holiday passing I can get over my holiday rage and then my Mom will stop singing Christmas songs to pacify me. It makes her laugh. It makes me curse.*

Me: I hate these @#^@&# drivers!!

Mom: :starts singing We Wish You a Merry Christmas:

Me: I *WISH* you would stop singing!

Me: Look at that !#^&@#*&

Mom: :singing Silent Night:

Me: I wish there was something else *SILENT*

Me: What the @#^&@^# is that person doing?

Mom: :Oh Holy Night:

Me: Oh Holy F -

Despite my foul mouth, Santa loves me. Do you know how I know? Because he shouted out mine and my SIL's name at our latest Holiday Nights walk. We were super excited jumping up and down, waving our arms and shouting "SANTA". And just when it got quiet, I shouted with open arms:

I LOOOOOVVVVEEE YOU SANTA.

We had a moment.

That moment may have included "Santa" laughing into the microphone before moving on to another name, but it was a moment.

Merry Christmas, peeps. I hope Santa is good to each and every one of you!

*When don't I curse?