Monday, February 15, 2010

Um, Your Baby Sounds Like a Furnace and I Am Pretty Sure That Is Not a Good Thing

Today I had to go to the doctor. You know, THAT doctor. The one that wants you to say "Ahhh" with parts other than your mouth. Yeah, I just grossed myself out with that one.

In any event, I had a bunch of time to kill while dressed in a gown with the opening facing front and a piece of paper over my lap. As in 30 minutes worth of time. Did I mention it was freezing in there?

As I was studying the poster that explained the various parts of a vagina*, I realized that I could hear an ultrasound happening next door. This was not surprising as there were about 50 pregnant women in the lobby when I arrived. So I listened to the WOM WOM WOM sound and thought to myself:

You are witnessing a little life growing and a little heart beating. How precious.

Then I thought:

Wow! That heart is beating fast.

Followed by:

That heart sounds like a train. THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH THAT BABY. WTF PEOPLE? IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE??

Then I got distracted when I heard that my doctor had a phone call and began to think I might have to frickin' call into work if this first thing in the morning appointment went any longer when I realized that damn ultrasound sound was STILL GOING ON. So I thought:

That is one hell of a long ultrasound.

And:

That can't be right.

And it wasn't. You know why? It was the frickin' heating and cooling in the building making that noise.

THE FURNACE.

Yes, I totally thought the furnace was an ultrasound.

The doctor eventually came in, heard the story and immediately revoked my female gender card.

But first he made me open wide.



*The more you know...

8 important things being said:

walkingonsunshine18 said...

HAHAHA it could happen to anyone...:P

Andhari said...

LOL that's awkward :D

j'lynn said...

This is so funny!!! LOL You are killing me with your craziness!! hehehehe

I don't remember my ultrasound (or the monthly heartbeat monitor thingy) being loud enough to hear in other rooms, but that was many, many years ago. Maybe they are amplified these days.... LOL

You do know every time from here on out if I'm lucky enough to ever hear a baby's heartbeat I will think of you and your furnace babies.

Sassy said...

Oh my! That is.. interesting LOL.

Blaez said...

thank you for making me smile! i needed that :)

*~Dani~* said...

walkingonsunshine - yeah, right. Thanks for trying to make me feel better.

Andhari - I think awkward is my middle name.

jlynn - my craziness knows no bounds. I doubt they are as amplified as what I was listening to, but you never know.

Sassy - interesting, yes. Nuts? Even more so.

Blaez - no problem, my dear ;)

Jennifer said...

I often mistake the sound of the furnace for other things. Never babies though. I suppose it could happen to anyone.

*~Dani~* said...

Jenny - but have you ever mistaken a baby for a furnace? That would be interesting.

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