Monday, March 01, 2010

This Doesn't Sound Like a Very Good Horoscope

The other day, I found this horoscope in my email box. At first it sounded delightful:

You are on the brink of something fantastic, DANIELLE, so just hang in there a little bit longer. It could be that you feel like the little train engine who is slowly working her way up the mountain. Perhaps you have made compromises and sacrifices along the way in order to get where you are. Just keep going. Pretty soon you will top the crest, and the rest of the journey will be all downhill. The tremendous work you have put in will pay off generously.


"The rest of the journey will be all downhill."

Downhill? Doesn't that, bad? Like, "oh, it's all downhill from here" [insert sad face].

I mean, really. Who wants to "top the crest" only to fall all the way down. Can't I stay on that crest for a while?

Lessons learned:

  1. Hard work does NOT pay off.
  2. Crests are temporary.
  3. Being at the top means you are going to fall.
  4. Downhill = bad
  5. Horoscopes are stupid.

4 important things being said:

Jamie said...

Today my horoscope told me it was okay to wallow. Now I'm waiting for something to happen that will make me feel like wallowing. I've decided to only take the horoscopes I like seriously and disregard all the stupid ones. Like the ones that tell me to be fiscally responsible the same day I get an email advertising a great sale.

Anonymous said...

More like a "HORRORscope"!!!! Get it? HORROR!!!

Jennifer said...

It should have said, today is it. It's the best day you will ever have. You are on top of the hill now. You can either jump and go out on top or you can slowly fall downhill.

*~Dani~* said...

Jamie - I think you were wallowing about to wallow about. Actually, I take horoscopes seriously. They seem to line up with whatever is happening in my life. Except this one. And some others. Whatever.

Anonymous - No, I don't get it. Can you explain? Ha! So clever you are.

Jenny - yes, that would have been more accurate. They may have also caused more than one suicide in its readership.

Blog Widget by LinkWithin