Let's Talk About Fish

Well, seafood to be exact. I love me some seafood. Shrimp, crab legs, lobster butt* - you name it and I am probably down with it. This even includes calamari.

Lately, I have been hob snobbing** with clients and partners at lunch. It is a recent development which involves fine dining and a lot of food. To say I am on board with this development is an understatement. In fact, my Mom recently asked if all I do now is lunch. No, silly Mom. I also ponder about lunch, relax after lunch, tell others about my lunch. I do SO much more than actual lunching.

In any event, at a few of these lunches we have had calamari. Fried calamari. If you have had calamari a/k/a squid you know that it doesn't have that much taste and is kind of chewy. But if you fry those bad boys - can you say YUM?*** Fried calamari it is. Well one day, I made the mistake of cutting my calamari. The piece was too big and I was trying to be all dainty and crap (fine dining and all). That is when I saw that my calamari is actually squid!! (Yes, I knew all along it was squid but was able to disguise my knowledge with the fried batter). I almost stopped eating right then. It is one thing to eat squid blindly oblivious to the fact that it is a squid then it is to actually look at the squid while about to digest it. Think about it. Instead, I decide to close my eyes, pop it in my mouth and go back to blind oblivion.

Which brings us to the other day. We were out at another lunch when one of the people I was with, who is also on a rather strict diet (i.e. no fried food), decided he might want some calamari. He asked them to prepare it without frying it. I am not sure what it involved, maybe stir fry in a wine sauce or something? What came to the table was. . .

A BIG BOWL OF SQUID IN LIQUID

I am not kidding. He proceeded to eat a big bowl of squid with a spoon. I almost lost it. There was no disguise, no oblivion. Just squid and all of its tentacles looking right at you. Going right in his mouth by the spoonful. Do not try to visualize this. You will not like the picture. So, what did I do? Oh, I used my recently perfected weapon that I call the Barbie Doll. I plaster a sincere smile on my face and an interested look while completely blanking out and emptying my head. No one is the wiser. Because, believe me, there is no closing your eyes on that one. For when they open again, there is still a big bowl of squid with a spoon. And that ain't a pretty picture my friends.

*lobster butt is a term that B and I coined while on the John Tesh cruise - that is a story for a different time.

**hob snobbing is a word I made up from hobnobbing and the picture of snobs while fine dining - aren't I clever? Just so we are clear, the people I dine with are not snobs. I just like the way that sounds.

***what isn't yummy fried? Seriously, someone please tell me so I can eat less fried food!