Thursday, May 28, 2009

Words You Never Want to Hear Your Husband Say...

"Well, that was a strange looking bug."

Gives me the chills. We have had quite array of bugs the past couple of days much to my dismay. First there was the awfully big spider over our bed. I usually do not kill spiders because I believe their job is to go off and eat all of the other bugs I cannot stand and leave me guilt free about killing them. Although, I must say, I generally do not like the spiders to be hanging out over my bed as statistics have shown people eat about 3 or so in their lifetime. I prefer to remain in denial about that. So B was going to solve the problem. But first, like an idiot, I had to get up close because the spider looked so darn big....

and it was a CENTIPEDE!!

which caused me to run screaming like the girl I am going AHHHHHH and EEEEEEE and KILL IT NOW - NOWWWWWWW!!!!

B decided it was not that urgent and that he would go to the bathroom first so I guarded the centipede from afar to make sure it did not move. B killed it. One down.

Until yesterday when I found one in the kitchen sink. WTF? They are taking over. This also involved screaming and death threats such as:

YOU WILL DIE DOWN THE DRAIN YOU WILL.

and he did.

As did the huge big black ant the size of a bee yesterday that met his fate down the toilet.

What the heck is going on?

As for the bug that I first referenced that B found "strange," I don't know what it is and B has wisely not proceeded to find out.

It was probably a centipede.


Aren't bugs supposed to hide or die in the summer?


Maybe if I transport these two huge spiderwebs on either side of our garage into our house, the big spiders that they house will take care of our bug problem?



Our spiders are symmetrical, if anything.

7 important things being said:

Debbie said...

Ok I HATE HATE HATE bugs. I used to live in an old apartment and at the time I had two cats. Cats are also pretty good at getting rid of bugs, or at the very least, maming them. I usually have to resort to hairspray or 409 or whatever nearby spray I have, then a shoe, then paper towels about 3 inches thick to pick up the remains. Don't feel bad about screaming like a girl. I'm with you on that one.

Jamie said...

I hate bugs. Last fall this huge spider spun an insanely large web on my third floor balcony. He would only come out at night and that is when I liked to go out there. Long story short, I took the grill lighter and torched his web while he was in it. I must admit that I did not feel at all bad about it. I wonder what that says about me?

Pam said...

I dislike bugs too. Any sign of them is enough to send me to get my "stomping shoes."

Jennifer said...

Ugh, bugs are so gross! I was once attacked at my office by a giant bettle. I screamed.

*~Dani~* said...

Debbie - I really hate them too, but now I have a heirarcy of bug hate with centipedes being on top and spiders on the bottom. I hate squashing bugs though because I hate the sound and the goo. So gross!

Jamie - I think this means you are a survivalist and I am the weak link ;)

Pam - welcome. Can you bring your stomping shoes to my place. Like right now? Chester as been staring at the same spot for about a half hour. I am positive he is on bug watch and I am not thrilled to discover what he has found.

Jenny - do you work in my office? I thought only our horrorfest office had attacking bugs.

Blaez said...

think about it: do you REALLY want those webs in your house accompanied by the spiders??

death to all insects and creatures that come into my house unwelcomed.

*~Dani~* said...

Blaez - you are right. Having the spiderwebs in there wouldnt be very practical and would probably ruin the decor too I would imagine. However, if the spiders killed all of those big black ants I have been finding, it may be worth. Maybe.

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