Monday, November 22, 2010

Would It Be Better If I Were Wearing a Coach Suit?

It has been rather stressful at the office these days.  I had a really ugly complicated case that resulted in my waking up one day with a huge knot in my back that I not so lovingly named after my opposing counsel.  Luckily that got resolved and the knot went away. I would also like to thank Excedrin Back and Body for coming to my aid.

It's just that things are super busy, which is good and bad. Good because more work equals job security and more fun. Bad because more work equals more work, less time and more scheduling conflicts.

I always know when the stress is getting to me because I will dream about the office, or usually court.  Last night I dreamt I was in federal court to help with a trial that I knew nothing about when the judge told me that I wasn't even wearing a suit. I looked down to find myself wearing a skirt and a jacket, certainly not a suit, but decided that I would defend myself by saying "Oh I see, if it is not a Coach suit, it doesn't count?" I don't even know what that means. Can you imagine a suit with the Coach insignia all over it? I shudder.

So it made me think of this post I drafted a while back about events I saw one motion day in court:

What Not To Say To the Judge If You Want to Win:

"All judges are liars"

"I cannot get a fair hearing here"

"I am suing three judges and the entire court system"

What You Don't Want to Hear the Judge Say If You Want to Win:

"The problem here is your client and her inconsistent testimony."

"What kind of attorney are you? The kind that just stands before me and spews garbage from his mouth?"

"What I want to know is who forged this Order?"

"Your opinion has no basis in fact."

"I have written many articles on this subject. In fact, there are a few cases you seemed to have left out of your brief."

Luckily these things were not said to me.  In fact, my opposing counsel felt the wrath that day when he tried to bluff me into a settlement only to be told by the judge that he and his client better agree to my terms or he was going to make him "try this" while shaking the file at him like it was the stupidest thing ever.  

That's my kind of day, even if they are few and far between.

3 important things being said:

Jennifer said...

That's hysterical. I think being a judge would be awesome. They seem to be able to say whatever they want. And who is going to stop them? It's their courtroom.

sprinkles said...

I used to dream about work too. It was always something stupid like putting the wrong name on a file or sending a document to the wrong county to be recorded. I would always try to correct the mistake in my dream but couldn't ever seem to get it fixed.

*~Dani~* said...

Jennifer - that's exactly why I want to be a judge!

sprinkles - I hate those dreams! Although I do wish you were having them again because then it would mean you were working.

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