The One Where I Play Santa Clause...

I recently had to go pass out gifts to our clients.  Envisioning myself as a Santa I practiced saying "Ho, Ho, Ho" and walking around for B:

Me: [walking around] HO HO HO

B:  What are you doing?

Me: Practicing playing Santa for when I give out gifts tomorrow.

Me: HO HO HO

B:  What are you doing with your arms?

Me: What do you mean?

B: You look like an ape.

Me: That is me holding PRESENTS!

Me: HO HO HO

Of course, Partner and I picked one of the worst winter days to go pass out presents. That, among other things, made him crabby.  That made me crabby.  To console ourselves, we went out to lunch first.  Cappuccinos cure everything. At least for me. He does not drink those. He remained grumpy.

As we were driving away from the restaurant (more like crawling through the snow), I noticed a TV van parked across the street.  Trying to lighten the mood, I said:

Look! There's a TV van and a camera and a girl and everything. I wonder what she's going to say - "Hi John, I'm live in the parking lot where it is snowing. Can you see the snow John? Yes, I am in front of the diamond store. No, I don't know why. Maybe because snow is shiny like diamonds? Ha ha John, back to you in the studio."

Partner asks me to tell him what girl from the station and I say "Some brunette from Channel 2."  As Partner declares he HATES Channel 2, it happens:

BAM!

We get rear ended.  And my head actually bounces off the headrest and back before I even hear the sound.  And it hurt dammit!  Turns out there was no damage, which was good, but it sure didn't lighten the mood. It just made me grumpier.

Partner took that opportunity to call his wife and warn her to stay off the road. Unfortunately, he still has not figured out how to work his bluetooth phone in the car and could not get it off speaker phone.  That conversation went something like this:

Partner:  Hi wife!  Stay home. The roads are really bad.

Wife: Too late. I am already on the road

Partner: Okay.

Wife: Hey...

Partner: WIFE! I CANNOT TALK RIGHT NOW!!

Wife:  THEN WHY DID YOU CALL ME?????

Click [the sound of her hanging up on him].  I was laughing. He was not. I dont think he wanted to tell her he couldnt talk because she was on speaker coming through the car, that I was in the car listening and that he could not figure out how to turn it off.  We all have troubles.  He got grumpier.

We delivered the gifts. I did not say HO HO HO though.  In fact, I started saying Merry Christmas because, after all, we were passing out gifts mere days before Christmas, but realized that was probably politically incorrect. So then I started saying something like this:

MerryChristmasHappyHolidaysHappyHanukahandallthat.

Smooth, right? I blame it on my head injury.

And if you are wondering what our clients got, they got wireless digital frames. No, they did not have pictures of strangers in them.

Hope all of your Holidays were bright and cheerful. Unlike this story.