Text Me Not

Remember that time I got an email from someone that thought she knew me? Well apparently I get text messages from people like that too.* Oh! And I am psychic.  Case in point...

Early in the morning I got a text from a friend. One of those pass it along texts. Kind of like a chain email, but cuter.  But that got me thinking later about people spam texting. Does that ever occur, I thought?  A short while later I was alerted to a text message as follows:

[insert 5 billion "Fwd:"s here] / // // /___/ /__________

that would be my heartbeat if i ever lost

you.  Send 2 everyone you care about 

including me!

Okay, my first thought was basically "okay..."  My second thought was "who the HELL sent THIS to me?"  And what were those lines about?  So I look at the phone number. Yep, I have absolutely NO clue who this is. Clearly, I do not know this person and clearly they do not know me.  If they had, I probably wouldn't have gotten such a message.  Now, rather than simply ignoring the text like a rational human being might, I decided to inform the person that we did not, in fact, know each other.  That was not as easy as you would think:

Me:  Who is this?

Text: KK [real name redacted]

Me: I don't know you?

Text: From [name redacted] technical school

HUH?  Okay, I REALLY do not know this person. Time to end this nonsense:

Me: Nope. You have the wrong number.

Text: You taught a cooking class there in 2005.

Seriously. The texter seriously said that! Me! A cooking class! Not only does she not know me, but she has clearly never read this blog.  Otherwise she would know about this, and this, and this.  Cooking teacher....ha.

Me: No. I did not. You have the wrong number.

Text: I guess if you do not remember me even though that's the number that was given to me.

Okay. I did not say I did not remember her. I said I AM NOT THAT PERSON. I never went to that school. I did not teach the class. You have the wrong number.  So what do I do? Of course...I call her:

Text:  Hello?

Me: It's Dani.

Text: Hi - you taught me a cooking class in 2005.

Me: No I did not. I have NEVER taught anything, let alone cooking. I am sorry, we do not know each other. And, actually, you would not want me to teach you cooking. Believe you me. You are better off.

Text:...okay...[clearly not believing she doesn't know me]

Meanwhile, I am IMing my Mom to inform her that I am busy arguing with a stranger about whether I know her or not.  Oh and she thinks I taught a cooking class.  I don't think my Mom ever laughed so hard in her life.  

The girl went on to say that SOMEONE gave her this number so I must be the teacher. I am not. I know it. She does not know it or refuses to know it.  I just hope she loses my number.  On another note...why would you wait almost four years to text an old teacher only to send them THAT message?  Really? You heart would stop beating if you ever lost me? How's it been for the past four years without me?

Still beating I bet.

*While looking up old posts to link, I forgot that this is not my first stranger text.  There was the one where the lady wanted me to babysit.   Not sure if mistaking me for a cooking teacher is funnier than a babysitter, but they both get chuckles from me.