Thursday, December 11, 2008

The One Where My Mom and I Are Mistaken for Lesbians...

With my recent car troubles, came a rental car.  It was a four door compact car which was quite a change from my midsize SUV.  No one felt the change greater than my Mom and me right along with her.

On Sunday, after getting the rental, I went to visit my Mom and we decided to go to breakfast and then out shopping. Okay, we really didn't decide that just then. That is something we do every weekend. It is our routine.  So we got in the car and routinely went on our way.

Immediately upon pulling out of the driveway, my Mom informs me that she cannot figure out how to pull the seat up.  I look over to see her sitting awkwardly with the seat back in an almost reclining position.  That doesn't look comfortable, I think. So I tell her the little lever is down the side of the seat. She cannot find it.  I tell her it is right below where the seatbelt connects.  No dice.

We approach a stop sign and I am puzzled as to why she cannot find this lever.  So I put the car in park and reach over.  Mom protests the entire time saying "it is really not a big deal." Maybe not to her, but I had a riddle to solve.  Why wouldn't her seat go up?  Considering that I was, at the time, buckled into my own seatbelt, it should come as no surprise that this whole encounter turned awkward and that hilarity ensued.  It did.

I reached over my mom and down the side of her seat which placed my face directly into her chest.  Which resulted in her gasping and making an "OH!" sound and face.  At the same time, I find the latch and attempt to maneuver it up which is no easy task seeing as how my face is in her chest and my leaning over is causing me to exert pressure into the very seatback I am trying to raise. So I decide to put my other arm around the back of her seat to lift it up.  

Are you listening?

I am at a stop sign with my face in my mom's chest, my arm around the back of the seat and she is making "OH" sounds and faces.

So not right.

As I raise the seat up, I say "see, it is working" all excited.  My mom looks mortified because she thinks she has spied a neighbor gawking at the window.  She responds with "great! You are crushing my chest."  At that exact moment I realize:

I AM STUCK!

Stuck in my mom's chest with my arm around her!

This caused me to break into a fit of giggles. So I giggle into her chest and say breathlessly:

"I...cannot...get...out...I...am...stuck."

Now she is laughing which is causing pressure on my face.

Somehow after an eternity, or 30 seconds, I manage to wrangle my hand out from the side of her seat and we were on our way laughing the entire time to the restaurant.

I can only imagine what that gawking neighbor thought. "There goes the neighborhood, we  have dem' der lesbians making out at the stop sign."

That's us...just doing our part to slowly alienate all of those around us, laughing maniacally all the while.





*I totally giggled throughout the writing of this post. In fact, I had to stop and put my head down because I was chuckling so hard.  Luckily, no one was around to witness this.

6 important things being said:

EP said...

Oh, goodness! I've never been in a situation like that, but I would certainly hope that I would laugh like y'all. Because, after all, it had to be QUITE a sight for an outsider who didn't know what was actually going on!

Andy said...

That is bloody fantastic- you know I think it's funny when I break out British slang.

*~Dani~* said...

EP - it helps that I find most things humorous and am not overly concerned what others think. And it was hilarious!

Andy - wow British slang - I'm impressed.

fingers said...

Ha !!!
A midsize SUV.
And you say you're not really a lezzer...

Anonymous said...

I laughed so hard my shoulders shook like Santa Claus! :) I had such a clear visual there - you guys are sooo cute!
Love ya!

*~Dani~* said...

Anonymous - I love you too! Hopefully you are who I think you are, otherwise, I just declared love for a total stranger.

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