Usually when I receive our local neighborhood paper, I have to scour the crime watch section to find a gem. Not this time. This time, the heading said it all:
Man Denies Dancing
Intriguing. What is wrong with dancing, I thought? Surely it cannot be a crime. Why would the man deny it? Must read on.
Apparently, the police were called with a complaint of a man dancing in the rain at 3:30 a.m. When the police arrived, the man denied that he was dancing and stated that he had just been riding his bike. The police told him to move along.
Um...okay. Let's review. The man was accused of dancing, not singing. It was the middle of the night. It was raining. How the heck could the person reporting it even know it was happening unless the man was tap dancing or had a soundtrack or the person was an extreme busybody? Last time I checked, dancing was really quiet. Was the reporting person just miffed that the guy seemed to be having fun in the middle of the night while he/she had to get up the next day for work?
Then I began to ponder...is dancing in the rain, or dancing in public at all, really a crime? Is calling the police justified if there is no nuisance allegation such as loud noise? Well, I am here to tell you in my new little town apparently it is. One day recently I went to the library to research city ordinances on an unrelated subject. Unable to find my exact ordinance, I ended up reading almost the entire book. Way in the back I found an ordinance about singing and dancing not being allowed past a certain time at night, no matter the noise level.
Ladies and Gentlemen, I am now living in the movie Footloose.
Could someone please send Kevin Bacon* or Chace Crawford** my way? This town needs someone to shake it up! We need to put an end to people getting busted for boppin'!***
We need to be able to dance in the rain!
Well, not me. I prefer to sleep.
In other news, apparently relaxing on an air mattress in the bay of a lake will also get you trouble. Who knew?
*And I mean the Kevin Bacon of 20 years ago
**Chace Crawford is the new Kevin Bacon for the remake of Footloose, have you heard? How timely is this post?
***That is a phrase right from Footloose. No, I don't regularly use the term "boppin'"