Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Crime Watch Wednesday: You Talking to Me?

This week in crime news we have the man who walked out of a store with two cases of beer without paying and without looking back:

A man walked out of the grocery store with two cases of beer that he did not pay for at 10:10 a.m. the other day. The suspect, wearing all black, was confronted by employees of the store whom he ignored as he nonchalantly walked down the alley.

He ignored the employees and just continued to walk down the alley. Not run, walk. Not much of a confrontation if the other side is ignoring you, is it? This man is all kinds of awesome for a thief:
  1. He wears all black like in the cartoons.
  2. He doesn't bother with small theft, he goes straight for two cases.
  3. He doesn't care if his stolen goods are heavy or awkward to carry. He does not plan on running.
  4. He doesn't run.
  5. He just saunters away.
  6. Down an alley.
  7. While being confronted about his theft.
  8. He also drinks beer, a lot of beer, at 10 in the morning.

That is why we salute you -
Mr. Sauntering-DressedinAllBlack-Nonplussed-EarlyMorningBingeDrinker!

For you make our newspaper, and the crime watch chronicles, complete. Cheers!

7 important things being said:

I Love Brownies said...

LOL - I love how you tagged this one....'bad assness'.
Now he's a criminal and a celebrity - which often end up being one in the same. Maybe he'll get his own sit-com or talk show. That would just complete the circle of insanity.

Jennifer said...

That sounds more like a gift from the store than a theft!!! I wonder if they even said anything to him or if they just let him walk away.

Jennifer said...

Oh, wait, I just saw that they confronted him. They must not have tried too hard.

Andhari said...

I applaud that dude, why did nobody catch him or something? lol

*~Dani~* said...

I Love Brownies - it is bad ass though, isn't it? Sadly we do not know his name so if he is a celebrity, he probably isn't getting too much fanfare. Imagine his talk show though? i bet he would drink on it!

Jennifer - They definitely did not try too hard. It was probably like "hey you! You! You with the beer! That's our beer! oh, you are going to keep walking? WELL, we are going to call the cops. Yes we are!"

Andhari - the employees must have not wanted to tackle him in case he had a weapon or something? Maybe he swung the beer at them wildly?

Your Beautiful Cousin said...

Good usage of "Saunters", that word is not used enough in everyday conversations.

*~Dani~* said...

Cousin - hey girl! Nice of you to drop by. You are right though, saunter is not used enough. It is, however, THE perfect word to describe a man going down an alley with two cases of beer he just stole, isn't it?

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