Tales from the Courthouse Part Deux

Today I was in court, as one colleague said "the place with the huge columns and the judge." Well, there were no columns at this courthouse, but there was a judge and, of course, there was a criminal.  I was there on a civil matter, but those criminal matters always sneak their way in and usually go first what with a person's freedom and liberty at stake and all.

So, as usual, a guy is brought out in shackles and left in the jury box to await his case. Apparently this was a hearing to bind him over on the charges against him - all four or five of them that is. Why stop at one?

This guy was arrested for speeding in his Hummer when the cops spotted him while in the area looking for someone else entirely.  How unlucky is that?  Well this guy knows plenty about being unlucky.  You see - he was speeding in a Hummer which is pretty visible, while on a suspended license, drunk, with a gun and ammo in the car and while there was a warrant for his arrest in a different city.   So, tell me, is this unlucky or just plain stupid?

As the detective in charge read the details, it went a little something like this:

We were looking for a bad guy.  During that search, we spot the defendant driving like a maniac in his huge-ass Hummer and pull him over.  He reeks of "alcohol on his breath" (yes the detective added the "on his breath" part - these other words are mine) so we give about five sobriety tests of which he fails all five.  Breathalyzer is at .24 (at this point the judge looks over at the bailiff with a look and whispers .24 and the bailiff nods back in confirmation like "yes, that IS a lot" while I am thinking "it is but I have heard worse" and I do not nod at anybody). So, we take him out of the car and of course search it.  That is when we find an empty gun in a plastic bag (probably Kroger's) under the seat with two magazines of ammo inside the same bag.  (uh oh - you in TROUBLE - so says the face of almost everyone in the courtroom).  We determine that he has a bench warrant in a different city for another charge and also that his carrying a concealed weapon permit expired 6 years ago.

So the detective didn't say it exactly like that, but it pretty much sums it up. The detective asks for a $10,000 cash bond because he believes the guy is a huge risk. We in the cheap seats are all shocked at the amount, although believe it is probably appropriate. At this time, the bailiff announces that he has a note from the arresting officer that indicates the defendant has ANOTHER gun that is not registered and that they want it relinquished.  This guy is a cowboy!

So the guy decides he would like to take the opportunity to tell the judge that the warrant for his arrest in the other city is for obstruction of view "for a ROSARY your honor" looking all humble and pious.  The judge then shoots him down with a "yeah, your warrant is for employing dancers without a license."  Not so pious anymore.

Just when the audience had thought they had heard it all, the judge announces she is setting a $50,000 bond - all cash!  We were shocked.  That is a huge amount. This judge is tough!  She also told him that should he make bond he cannot drink or do drugs.  Oh, and he must relinquish that other gun immediately (not sure how he is going to do that from jail).

Now, the guy claimed he could pay for his own attorney because he was self-employed (although he gave some other employment besides the employing dancers without a license of course).  Meanwhile, I am thinking if you need to post $50,000 cash just to get out of jail, you might want to rethink the part where you say you can afford your own attorney. Just saying.