I Can See You Now!

Yes, I got new glasses today.  Well, technically a couple of days before you read this thanks to scheduled posts.  But in any event, why is this so exciting? Well, probably because I have been operating on a 6 year old eyeglass prescription.  Thrifty? Yes. Wise? No.  Probably not even thrifty to be honest.  I typically go through stages where I either wear eye glasses all the time or contacts all the time.  Unfortunately my sensitive eyes can only wear the one day throw away contacts or they get all mad and red and angry.  Hmmm....maybe the glasses are thrifty.  

In any event, I have been wearing my glasses almost daily for the last six months, much to the surprise of B even though he has looked at me every day for those six months.  One day recently he said "So, why did you decide to wear your glasses today?" WHAT?  You mean the glasses I have been wearing every single day?  The glasses that you keep making fun of by putting your finger to your nose and calling me Pointdexter?  What about the time you accidentally knocked them off my face? Did you forget about that?  So observant that one.

Funny thing about the glasses is that when B and I first started dating I was in my "I love wearing my glasses every day phase" and wore them every day at work.  At night or social events, however, I would put contacts in because I felt I looked better.  Thus, whenever I saw B, I was wearing contacts. I do not know if he even knew I had glasses back then.  A coworker told me this was dishonest and that I had to wear my glasses in front of him one day because I wore them every day at work.  Um, they were glasses.  It is not like I had false teeth or something.  Okay, I just grossed myself out with that thought. Anyhow, I eventually wore them and it was not that big of a deal. Obviously. Now he doesn't even notice.

Back to the new glasses.  Amazing what a proper prescription can do especially when you are practically blind.  Immediately upon putting on my new glasses I proclaimed "God these are strong" and got a headache.  Yep, I probably set my eyes back a few years by wearing such an old prescription for the past six months.  

As for the new glasses? They must be a hit as B did not even notice them.  He did look at me funny and when I inquired if he noticed the glasses he said "I thought there was something different about you, but I thought it was your hair."  He then made me go into a well lit room to inspect the new specs.  Success was reached when he declared them "just like the other ones." Great.  $400 well spent.*

This post reminds me of another eyeglass story, aren't you lucky?

I used to go to the same eyeglass place for years. For quite some time there was this girl that worked there. I forget her name so I will call her Michelle.  Well Michelle and I shared the same exact birth day, down to the year I believe. She would remark about this every time I came in.  I am going to have to assume I bought a lot of contacts because I saw her quite often. Anyhow, around the fourth or fifth time seeing her, she somehow got the idea that I was married. I was not.  Rather than correct her, I just let it slide.  Have you ever done that?  Then it gets so involved you are not just letting it slide but actually going with the wrong assumption as if it is correct and adding details? Never happened to you? It happened to me.

Whenever I came in she would ask how my husband was doing - I would make something up.  She would ask what he did - I would make something up. Hell I even made up his name!  She would comment about shopping and spending money and how my husband would probably kill me. "Oh yes," I would declare, "he hates when that happens."  I had totally invented a make believe husband!  

I stopped going to that eyeglass place and forgot all about that girl until one day when my brother and I were strolling through the mall and wandered into an eyeglass place there. Of course Michelle was there. Before we could leave without being spotted, she yelled out to me. Of course she would remember me.  She remarked about how she hadn't seen me.  She remarked about how we shared the same birthdays.

And then she told my husband how wonderful it was to meet him.

My husband.

Also known as my brother.

Who was looking mighty confused at the time.  Rather than try to unravel years of made up stories, fabrications and a make believe husband, I just smiled and said "Yeah, we have to get going" and hustled my brother out of there. After we left, I explained it all to my brother who got a kick out of it but could not believe I had taken it so far.  Why hadn't I corrected her the first time, he asked?

"It just seemed easier not to," I said.

Obviously.

*Why are glasses so frickin' expensive?