My Husband is a Cyborg

Don't know if I told you this, but B loves to play video games. Probably as much as I love to enter contests or blog.  Maybe more.  Since I have known him he has played shooting games on Playstation (first the PS, then the PS2 and now the PS3 - when will it end), Star Wars games (of course) and then Mario Kart games on the Wii.  He likes to mix it up to keep everything fresh.  While playing the shooter games he would tell me how other players online could talk to each other because they have headsets and we would laugh and make fun of them and my usual line was "they don't have girlfriends or wives if they wear those."  Hilarious.  Until now.

Of course, you can guess that B decided he needed a headset after all.  You see, he has friends online playing these games.  And not as in friends he just made while playing these games, but real life friends that he "competes" against.  How else could he communicate with them other than his cell phone which was definitely not hands free.  So, for Christmas, B asked for a bluetooth headset (unfortunately a little ear one and not one that looked like an operator or else I would have much more blog fodder).  And, for Christmas, he received one from my parents.  Of course, he then immediately lost it which involved everyone checking their respective houses, cars and snow for it with no luck. No worries. He found it in the Boba Fett mug he also got as a present.  Yes, he is a dork.  

After the exciting events of searching for the headset, I completely forgot about it until yesterday.  As I was sitting in front of the computer doing important stuff* I repeatedly heard B in the other room cursing. Big foul curse words that start with the letter "F". You  know, the ones I say daily.  However, these were said forcefully, even...dare I say...dramatically.  After a few times, I decided to go in and lecture B:

Me: You know...this here [gesturing around the room] is supposed to be ENTERTAINMENT.  You do not sound entertained. You sound angry and stressed and the cursing is out of control.

B:  Huh.

Me: No. Seriously. What is the problem?

B: Just the game. [all nonchalantly]

At this point I notice the bluetooth in his ear:

Me: You look like a cyborg.

B: [laughs]

Me: Seriously. Is that on?

B: Yes

Me: Can they hear me?

B: [shrugs sheepishly]

Me: Well, if they can hear me, they probably don't recognize the sound of my voice as it is female and all and we know none of those people have girlfriends or wives.

B: [silent]

Me:  Are you going to be able to be entertained vs angry now?

B: [totally whispering even more sheepishly] shhhh...I can't talk now they can hear me.

Me: What? Are you kidding me?

B: [turns off bluetooth and takes it out]

B: No I am not. And, they could hear you. One guy said "Yes, I can hear you. Can you hear me?" when you were talking.

Oops. I am sure that is not all they said. I am sure they cursed and called me names for calling them geeks and dorks without girlfriends/wives.**  Um, and if they could hear me without the bluetooth by my mouth, I am pretty sure that they could hear B whispering that he could not talk because they could hear them.  Way to submit.

So I left and decided to go to bed and leave B to his "friends" and his gaming.  Not even 5 minutes later he lets out another loud curse:

Me: I can HEAR you.

B: They banned me from the room because I was killing everyone and was so good.

Yes, I am sure that is why you were banned B.  Because you were awesome. I am sure it had NOTHING to do with what was said about your "friends."

I am a bad wife.

 

*By important I mean twittering and checking gmail and facebook nonstop. Priorities you know.

**Of course I realize that being a wife of someone that games totally takes away the stereotype that they don't have girlfriends or wives, but I like to think of B as the exception, not the rule.