Tuesday, September 08, 2009
I know you are thinking to yourself, how did Dani get the official legal argument on zombies? Does such thing exist? Where did this occur? In court, of course. Silly readers. Where else do legal arguments form? Here's what happened.
After the judge granted my motion without my doing anything beyond uttering my name, I had to make my way back to chambers to get the order entered. I walked in to find the judge's law clerks staring intently at a computer saying such things as "HA HA" and "WHOA." I looked over their shoulders and realized that they were watching the Zombieland trailer. About four minutes later, and after the female attorney behind me had left in disgust, the trailer was over. As the clerks pondered how entertaining and fun that movie will be and where they could find more trailers to watch, one of them happened to see me out of the corner of his eye:
Clerk1: Well, hello.
Clerk1: Need to enter an order?
Clerk2: How long were you standing there?
Me: For half the trailer.
Clerks collectively: Ohhh....
Me: I think that looks like a good movie, very entertaining.
Clerk2: So you will be going to the premiere?
Me: Probably not the premiere, but at least the movie.
Clerk1: What if the judge orders you to go to the premiere?
Me: What if...the judge...ORDERS me to go to the Zombieland premiere?
Clerk1: Yeah, he likes movies.
Me: But does he like zombies?
Clerk1: I don't know....
Me: Really? Does anyone LIKE zombies? I mean we like to watch movies about zombies but no one is all "Oh I want to be a zombie, those things are cool."
Clerk1: Some people like zombies...
Me: Like who? Everyone likes to watch zombies get killed. Zombies are not fun or nice or cool.
Clerk2: What about Shaun of the Dead.
Me: What about it?
Clerk2: His friend in the end was a cool zombie.
Me: Well, he's the exception.
And then I left with my order.
In other news, for those that like zombies, you can now have your very own lawn ornament. How cool would this look? I am going to convince B we need to buy it.
Lawn ornament - $89.95
Shipping - $15.25
Faces of our neighbors when the wonder who the hell let us buy in this neighborhood? Priceless
Zombie of Montclair Moors (from SkyMall of course!)