Monday, January 11, 2010

When You Plan on Staying Home Sick from Work, it is Probably Best to Actually Tell Your Office

It is early morning. Dani woke up to her usual routine - shower, breakfast, internet, dress and leave for the office. However, somewhere between breakfast and internet, Dani decided she wasn't going to be able to get to the leave for the office part. She thought she was getting better. She went to the office the day before, but today she needed more rest. And more Nyquil. So she emailed her secretary, took another dose and went back to bed.

And so she slept.

Meanwhile, at the office...nobody has heard from Dani. Everyone is asking her secretary where she is, but nobody has an answer. Her secretary emails her, but gets no response.

And so she sleeps.

Around 11 am, the office starts to get worried. Dani's co-worker calls and gets her voicemail. One of the partners calls and gets her voicemail. The managing partner calls and gets her voicemail.

She still sleeps with the faint sound of the phone ringing in the background. They will call back, she thinks.

Meanwhile at the office...panic has set in. "There was an accident on the freeway," someone suggests. "We should call her old employer for contact information" screams another. Someone texts her. Another calls her. THERE IS NO ANSWER they yell to each other. The whole firm has gotten involved. They have notified one employee that she has to drive to Dani's house to see if she is okay. Someone else suggests they call Dani's cell phone company to find a signal on her. A third person starts scrambling through papers to find info for B.

And so she sleeps.

And then she is startled awake at 2:00 p.m. by her husband screaming:

GET UP! YOUR OFFICE IS LEAVING ME MESSAGES. CALL THEM!

And so she awakes, stumbles to her phone to find 3 voicemails, 5 missed calls, 2 emails and a text message. She notices that there is a big red X next to the email she sent at 7:30 a.m. saying she wasn't coming in. She calls the first number she recognizes and is greeted with WE THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD. Word is spread that Dani is, in fact, alive. And sick. And sleeping.

And so she went back to sleep.*

In other news, have you lost something? Have you wondered whatever happened to that ex or long lost friend? If so, get my office on the case. They will find what you are missing in less than 5 hours - guaranteed!**




*I didn't really go back to sleep. Unless you count the times I dozed off during my marathon Dexter sessions. So I had to watch 3 of them 2 times? I was sick!

**I have to say that I am very amazed at the lengths my coworkers went to find me and to make sure I was okay. I feel very appreciated. And stalked.

8 important things being said:

Andhari said...

Wow obviously you're so much in demand, Dani :D hope you feel better now. My favorite shows definitely help me feel better too :)

me said...

you should call your cousin for a sure fire cocktail to cure you of your ailment. Or you could just call her for dinner.

Debbie said...

Wow! I hope you start to feel better or they might send out a search party!

Jennifer said...

OMG. This was hysterical. I was laughing long after I finished reading it. At least you know the people in your office care about you!!!

Blaez said...

Dani is loved!!

feel better soon, Dani!

*~Dani~* said...

Andhari - I am feeling MUCH better. And my office is relieved :)

me - I hear she is about to give birth any day now...I should have taken advantage of that time before she has a newborn.

Debbie - no kidding, right?

Jenny - they are hysterical. They are STILL talking about it.

Dani - I am loved. At least at the office ;)

Sassy said...

I love it. At least they cared right? I mean they have not even noticed you didn't come in?

*~Dani~* said...

Sassy - true! There is one person there that I think it would take a week for anyone to notice he isn't there. I know they wouldn't put a search party out for him. I am loved :)

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