Dream a Little Dream

Lately, people have been asking me if I want to hear their dreams. Inevitably I try to "one up" them with my dreams because, honestly, my dreams are messed up.  For example, today a secretary came into my office and said "I have to tell you about this strange dream I had" to which I responded:

"Was it as strange as the dream I had that I was kidnapped and about to be tortured with an over abundance of Christmas tree lights and a bathtub? Or that when I realized that torture is painful I tried to steer my dream away from it because I can do that.  And then the torturer said to me 'you do realize your hair makes you look like a skunk' and I reluctantly agreed before waking myself up to pee because I still did not want to be tortured."

Nope, her dream was nothing like that.

It is strange to me when people cannot remember their dreams. I remember almost all of mine or at least snippets.  Like the other day when I dreamt my boss turned my trial into a high school play and I had no lines. I am sure there is meaning in there and the meaning probably isn't even a "beneath the surface" kind of meaning.  I am choosing to the ignore the meaning. It was a former boss anyway.

I also dream in color.  People have asked me before if I dream in color or in black and white and I never really knew the answer until the time I dreamt the Incredible Hulk was chasing B and I. The Hulk was definitely green.  You know what else I learned from that dream?  That when the Hulk is chasing you and tells you that it is "time to write your will" and you decide to go seek shelter at an old hospital, and then you decide to take the hospital stairs because there is a sign saying "for humans only" (that will teach that Hulk!), you might not want B with you. Because he will become fascinated with the "history of the stairs" and all of the great people that walked the stairs thereby slowing you down immensely.  That dream also taught me that it is important to buy tshirts to blend in with the crowd when being chased and that atrium glass is super strong and will not even break when you are under it and see big giant Hulk feet slide across it.

When I am not dreaming about work or superheros* turned evil, I like to dream about real life things like grocery prices.  Or so B tells me.  After one rough weekend of shopping with my mom, B informed me that I was talking in my sleep, moaning about those "damn grocery prices."

Of course, B is one to talk.  One night I was awakened by B hitting me not once, but twice, in his mad scramble to get the covers off of him and out of the bed. Alarmed, I sat up and asked what was going on.  B said "there was someone on top of me."  Looking around the room (which is not that big I might add) and seeing no one, I realize someone had been dreaming.  "There's no one here. Go back to sleep and PLEASE keep your fists to yourself. How am I going to explain bruises at work?"  Luckily, no bruises.  And B? He had no clue. Could not remember a thing. When I told him what occurred the next morning, he uttered one of his favorite lines "I am not responsible for what I do when I am sleeping."  Now, if only I could make him more responsible when I am sleeping. Maybe then, it would not be so difficult escaping from The Hulk.

*Is it superheroes or superheros?  Does it even matter? Is anyone reading this?