Wednesday, October 15, 2008

The One Where I Am Mistaken for a Vet...

Recently we spent about...um...A LOT OF MONEY to save our Mooch. Although financially burdensome, we love our cats and are glad we did so. Now, having spent ALL of that money, you would think that perhaps the vet and the vet's office could do their job?  I mean, we ARE paying them?  No, they would prefer we do their job for them.

First example:

B asks me to drop Mooch off at the vet because they have to test his urine.  I drop him off early in the morning. The lady behind the counter looks at me like I have asked her to do the most ridiculous circus act on earth rather than what I really asked - could you take my cat like YOUR OFFICE ASKED?  She takes the cat, takes my number and assures me that they will call me the minute Mooch pees. Yep, great.  Meanwhile I am thinking, lady you are keeping him all day because I am not traveling 45 minutes from my office in the middle of the day to retrieve the cat.

Later, I get home and ask B what happened with Mooch? Well, Mooch did not pee ALL DAY. Yep, just sat in the vet's office not peeing. Did they give him water? Don't know. Did they squeeze his little bladder? Don't know. Aren't they professionals? Don't know.  I ask what the next step is. Who is taking Mooch in tomorrow?  No one says B.  The vet wants us to lock him up in the bathroom on special paper kitty litter and then collect it and drive it to them.

STOP

What?

There a few things wrong with this scenario:

1.  The cats hate to be locked up. They will cry all night long
2. The bathroom is right by our bedroom. Hence, I will cry all night long.
3. Our condo is not big enough to find a room where we would not hear him cry all night long.
4. Mooch hates paper kitty litter
5. Mooch is obviously stubborn and will not pee on demand, even after waiting 8 hours

I declare this plan to be absolutely ridiculous.  Instead, we wait two days and I take Mooch back to the vet. I tell the lady we cannot get him to pee, to which she responds "not even locking him up on the paper kitty litter?" to which I respond "nope - I guess he is really stubborn like the other day when YOU had him for 8 hours and he wouldn't pee.  Guess you will have to try again." Miraculously they got him to pee that time.

Example 2:

B asks me to go pick up cat food from the vet's office. Thanks to Mooch's ailment, the cats are both on special prescription food to ensure neither gets kidney stones in the future. And special water. Damn these cats are frickin' expensive.  So, I call the vet's office to inquire as to when they open the following day.  The lady says "oh yeah, I have your food right here for Riddler."* Great, this should be easy.  Nope.

The next day I go to pick it up early in the morning and am confronted by a different lady, the one who did not want to take my cat. Apparently she doesn't want to help me either. Upon being told that I was there to pick up food, she gives me a blank stare.  "You know food for Riddler."  Blank. With a big sigh she heaves herself off the chair walks over to some food and says "oh yes. What kind?"  What do you mean which kind?  I say "the kind that is reserved for Riddler, I don't know. It is prescription."  She says "well there are 9 different kinds of prescription."

STOP

Do I look like a vet? Do I look like or sound like I have any idea what kind of food I am there to purchase? Do you not work in the vet's office? Did we not call to reserve the food? Can you not look up my cat's records? WHY AM I ALWAYS DOING YOUR WORK FOR YOU?

I reiterate "food for Riddler."  She finally sighs, goes over to the file cabinet and declares "it must be C/P."  I say "if you say so."  She doesn't seem confident. I no longer care.  I pay $25.00 too much for the little bag and am on my way.

I am no vet.  And apparently the vet is no vet. The vet's office is no vet's office. And I am eternally stuck in a looping soundtrack of circus music.

Now because the cats were mentioned, here is a picture for you.  Mooch loves snuggling under hot towels (or rags as the case may be). Chester loves hovering over him.







*Our last name is not Riddler, but I suppose you knew that.

4 important things being said:

DogAteMyFinances said...

You need to complain to someone in charge. The vet, in this case. You can probably get a discount out of this idiocy. It's probably more effective to complain in person, but I would probably send a less-effective letter with the risk of interception.

Rebekah said...

I am SO happy I have a good vet after reading this story. My kitty spent a lot of time (and money) there this spring and they were so good. I'd call with questions and the doctor herself called me back each time.

Take your babies somewhere else if that continues. Seriously. They deserve more than incompetence.

*~Dani~* said...

Dog and Rebekah - thank you for your concern. From what I can tell, the vet herself is rather good. Both times, it was the early morning upfront girl I have had to deal with and, honestly, I don't think she does much there but open up the place. She is not the person I dealt with on the phone and B says he never has this problem. Next time I will have to pick a different time to go there and see what happens.

Jennifer said...

Where is this crazy vet???

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