She Who Laughs Last Gets the Cookie

At a reader request, I have diagrammed my parking story where a lady parked behind me after I drove through the parking space and then inexplicably wanted me to move after I apologized.  Not sure the diagram really helps though. I believe it is puzzling because it just does not make any sense. We were both parked - no reason for anyone to move. As you can see she would have been only slightly closer to the store if she had been where I was.  

Posting this, however, reminded me of another story of cutting in front of people but this time I was the cutee* or the-one-who-was-cut-in-front-of.  A few weeks ago I decided to go to Panera to get some yummy soup for lunch.  I was on the phone with my mom while I waited to be called next in line.  (No worries, I do not talk on the phone or hold it to my ear while I am ordering and paying at a restaurant, or in a bank or in a store -  I have some manners). The way this place is set up, there are five different cashiers spread out over about 12 feet.  So, people form one general line and wait for the next available cashier to wave them over.  At the time, I was the only "people" waiting. Suddenly, I see two men walk in, walk AROUND me and proceed to stand in front of me as I if I were just standing there like some lost little child.  I immediately said to my mom "I have to go, it's an emergency" and hung up my phone.  I needed total concentration.

I put on my real angry face and huffed.  No one listened. The guys got called to a register and, as luck would have it, I was called to one two down from them. There was another customer between us.  I ordered my soup and drink and also a chocolate chip cookies (god, I love those things).  The cookies are usually placed out in front of the cash registers and can disappear quickly.  I had not yet taken my cookie, and was just about to put my change away, when I hear one of the two rude guys say "and a chocolate chip cookie."  That was it - game on!!

As soon as I heard those words, I quickly scanned the cookies, saw ONE chocolate chip cookie and swooped right in. I reached ACROSS the person in between us and snatched the last chocolate chip cookie while saying Ha! inside my head.  As I took the cookie, I heard the cashier say "it appears we have no more chocolate chip cookies."  Double Ha!  Who's going to cut in front of me now? Huh? The person WITHOUT a chocolate chip cookie.  That's who.

Guess who didn't have the last laugh? That would be me. I sauntered over to the pop machine, all proud of myself and my not so secret revenge**, and as I put my cup down on the counter and reached for a straw, rude man came and filled his glass, right under my nose.  Well played, rude man, well played.  He probably deserved a cookie for that slick maneuver. Too bad, I had the last one.

Maybe I did have the last laugh after all.  

UPDATE:  This post made me want Panera so I went today. The cashier must have recognized me because after I said I wanted a cookie and then noticed there were no chocolate chip ones, I started to say "do you have any..." and she replied "yes" and went to retrive a chocolate chip cookie without me specifying what kind.  So, she either thinks I am (a) a crazy lunatic that will do evil unspeakable things for a chocolate chip cookie or (b) I am a cool avenger righting the wrongs in the world one cookie at a time.  I'd like to think (a) but the truth is she probably thinks (b) and just wanted me the heck out of the place!

*this is obviously not a word. Spell check keeps wanting to make it cutey, but that would take away from the viciousness of this crime.

**I am not normally so vengeful. At least, I don't normally act on my vengence.  Don't judge.  It was a cookie you know. A very, very good cookie.