Live Twittering of the Oscars...Kind of

As I did for the Golden Globes, I decided that once again I would join my fellow twitterers and tweet the Oscars live. That is until I got locked out. Angry would be putting it mildly. Enjoy the highlights of my observations on Oscar night!

Right off the start, a quote from an Oscar nominee:

"if you have a mind and a brain?" Aren't those the same thing? 

6:59 PM Feb 22nd from web

The weird football like play of fashion, complete with drawings on screen:

The football like drawings on her legs is kind of creepy 

7:00 PM Feb 22nd from web

Is that woman in the background with the sparkly dress GLARING at this woman? Girl I don't see you being nominated for an Oscar 

7:01 PM Feb 22nd from web

not preparing a speech is now considered "organic"? 

7:02 PM Feb 22nd from web

well that is kind of rude "I heard you wanted this REALLY badly. How badly did you want it?" Way to make him sound desperate Ryan

7:03 PM Feb 22nd from web

Ryan will provide me with plenty of fodder I can see 

7:03 PM Feb 22nd from web

Yes, Ryan - Leo and Kate only exist in the movie Titanic. Good lord 

7:04 PM Feb 22nd from web

maybe we can get another creepy shot of Heidi's leg 

7:04 PM Feb 22nd from web

I really like Heidi's hair even though it doesn't look like she did anything to it 

7:05 PM Feb 22nd from web

"Red from the live carpet right here...." good job Ryan

7:10 PM Feb 22nd from web

I think he is saying that even though SJP could do no wrong, she did some wrong. Well you are wrong 

7:11 PM Feb 22nd from web

Mickey Rourke tries to distract us from his face by his hair and outfits. Um, not working 

7:11 PM Feb 22nd from web

SJP look like a princess 

7:11 PM Feb 22nd from web

now THAT is a statement necklace Amy Adams. Love it 

7:12 PM Feb 22nd from web

"freeze that right there" - it is LIVE. oh boy

7:12 PM Feb 22nd from web

RDJ will not win for Tropic Thunder. And he was good. You cannot beat a ghost RDJ. Even if you are RDJ 

7:14 PM Feb 22nd from web

WTF? How pure is Amy Adams? Ryan is an asshole with these questions 

7:14 PM Feb 22nd from web

This isn't charades Ryan. Learn to ask a question and not put them on the spot. Amy Adams has done more than 2 movies 

7:15 PM Feb 22nd from web

RPatts hair is just wrong. It is in the in between stage and is just wrong 

7:16 PM Feb 22nd from web

Okay Matthew Broderick's hair is WAY crazier than Rpatts. What happened to this man? 

7:18 PM Feb 22nd from web

Ryan wishes Seth was fighting his way toward him 

7:19 PM Feb 22nd from web

apparently there is absolutely nothing else to discuss with Seth Rogan other than his weight loss? Movies anyone? 

7:20 PM Feb 22nd from web

way to know about the stars you are interviewing Ryan. Marisa has had 3 nominations and 1 win. Not just My cousin Vinnie 

7:26 PM Feb 22nd from web

Ryan is a star stalker. Really. 

7:27 PM Feb 22nd from web

that was an awkward shake your hand, do a gang sign, college frat boy maneuver with Mickey Rourke 

7:28 PM Feb 22nd from web

how is it ironic to have your dog die when you are nominated for an award? Explain 

7:28 PM Feb 22nd from web

I love Diane Lane. So gorgeous But I always think of her on the staircase in that movie Unfaithful 

7:30 PM Feb 22nd from web

For once I think Jessica Biel looks hot. Okay, maybe twice 

7:32 PM Feb 22nd from web

I wish Ron Howard had more hair. He still has such a baby face. Adorable 

7:33 PM Feb 22nd from web

Run Marion! Ryan might be a stalker 

7:34 PM Feb 22nd from web

I would have never recognized Peter Gabriel. I still love his songs though 

7:35 PM Feb 22nd from web

Ryan is lucky she is wearing a perfume. Otherwise he would just be creepy. Oh wait! He still is 

7:36 PM Feb 22nd from web

I wonder if Evan Rachel Wood is going to avoid Mickey lest the rumours of their wicked affair reignite 

7:37 PM Feb 22nd from web

Please stop screaming. Please - it is just Brad and Angie. They DON'T KNOW YOU! 

7:38 PM Feb 22nd from web

Ryan "tell me about your movie" which really means, I will interrupt you one second after you begin to talk 

7:43 PM Feb 22nd from web

What the heck is up with that hat Philip Seymour Hoffman? You look more than ridiculous! 

7:43 PM Feb 22nd from web

Marion thinks Ryan is an idiot. You are not alone Marion. 

7:44 PM Feb 22nd from web

quick poll - will Brad and Angelina 1 avoid Ryan, 2 be rude to Ryan, or be 3 be nice to Ryan. Hard to decide  [Note: #3 for Brad and #1 for Angie]

7:45 PM Feb 22nd from web

who was Angelina leading around just now? Certainly wasn't Brad for once

7:48 PM

stop with predictions. I want more dresses! 

7:54 PM Feb 22nd from web

What was that? Did Brad blow Ryan off and why was it not aired? 

7:58 PM Feb 22nd from web

RDJ cannot stand Ryan, can you tell? 

7:59 PM Feb 22nd from web

maybe ABC will do better with the red carpet. Hi HDTV I love you 

8:01 PM Feb 22nd from web

I cannot imagine calling Anthony Hopkins "tony" it doesn't seem to fit 

8:05 PM Feb 22nd from web

no brush off by Brad and Angelina on this channel. What does that tell you Ryan? 

8:06 PM

I didn't understand a word Valentino just said. I may have been sleeping 

8:10 PM Feb 22nd from web

Mickey just spit on his own lip. Kind of gross. Story about Loki? endearing 

8:12 PM Feb 22nd from web

Zac - slicked back hair. NOT GOOD. You look greasier than Mickey Rourke. Really. 

8:13 PM Feb 22nd from web

Miley has quite the deep voice. Opposite of her dress 

8:15 PM Feb 22nd from web

Sometimes Anne Hathaway is pretty, other times not so much. It is always puzzling to me 

8:16 PM Feb 22nd from web

I bet those briefcases are empty. Like half of the people I work with 

8:20 PM Feb 22nd from web

oh no. I do not like the bottom of Marisa's gown. No to pleats - just say NO! 

8:24 PM Feb 22nd from web

James Franco didn't look so happy giving that standing ovation

8:38 PM Feb 22nd from web

yes Mickey looks great. not at all creepy and disturbing 

8:40 PM Feb 22nd from web

perhaps open the curtains BEFORE the montage begins? 

8:41 PM Feb 22nd from web

I like these five past winners announcing nominees 

8:44 PM Feb 22nd from web

I get the feeling that if it is not about RDJ, RDJ is bored 

8:45 PM Feb 22nd from web

Goldie - your boobs need to be controlled. Really. You are not your daughter's age! 

8:46 PM Feb 22nd from web

I have no idea who will win best supporting actress 

8:47 PM Feb 22nd from web

WHAT? that does not seem right. Not right Penelope 

8:47 PM Feb 22nd from web

8:50 p.m. THE moment we have been waiting for Jen Aniston. Will she give angelina the stink eye? 

8:51 p.m. they don't even have pretty girls handing out Oscars. Is that part of the recession? 

8:59 p.m. slam against Scientology. Score 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

9:00 - got locked out of Twitter for updating too much WTF? Since when? It was the Scientologists I know it. they are behind everything and I happened to mention them in one of my tweets.

9:05 how will the world survive without my tweets? I am pissed and told B who laughed at me for 10 minutes straight

9:18 watching the Oscars and seeing others twitter about it makes me sad. So does the boring acceptance speech for Curious Case of Benjamin Button

9:19 so was Hugh Jackman just there for the beginning or what? I haven't seen him since he stopped dancing. Do you think he is somewhere recovering?

9:20 - the Duchess? I wasn't even aware any part of this movie was in the running for anything

9:21 And then it wins for best costume design. I guess all of my predictions were off

9:22 I fell asleep. Acceptance speeches bore me. Where is Jennifer Aniston/Jack Black when you need them? Or Tina Fey/Steve Martin? Anyone?

9:23 That dress makes SJP boobs look huge. I am obsessed with boobs. It is a problem.

9:24 Awww Heath :(

9:24 The Curious Case of Benjamin Button wins for makeup. As it should be. Fantastic job. Never saw the movie but the pics were fantastic.

9:25 By my calculations, I cannot tweet again until 10 pm or after. Still pissed about that

9:25 God Amanda Seyfried has gorgeous hair. RPatts not so much .But he works it.

9:28 Thank God for commercials. I have to pee

9:31 - oh hi Hugh Jackman, where have you been hiding for the past hour or so?

9:31 Ben Stiller - love the Joaquin impersonation. Is Joaquin in the house?

9:35 - dude you are about to give an acceptance speech. Brushing your hair and not curling it oddly to the sides would have been a good idea. You look like you have wings. WINGS

9:38 B's love just came on - Jessica Biel. I repeat, she looks good tonight.

9:40 vented to B about my lack of Twitter (still!) and Penelope winning best supporting actress "boobs always win, especially if they speak spanish." I have no idea what that means.

9:43 how long can the Franco/Rogan high train last before we all get sick of it? Oh, 6 months ago. That's right

9:45 I hope they don't parody their parody. That would be tragic. And not funny.

9:46 i think the only thing Seth knows how to say is "Judd Apatow" I have heard him say it at least three times tonight. He knows where his bread is buttered.

9:47 you would think that someone that goes to college ahem *James Franco* ahem would not intentionally mispronounce the name of a foreign film. Think again.

9:48 black bowtie on black shirt on black suit. Monochromatic to the extreme.

9:53 Another song and dance number with Hugh Jackman. I don't know if I can take it.

9:54 Now it involves Beyonce. It is official - I CANNOT TAKE IT. MAKE IT STOP.

9:55 Wait the Grease song is involved. Just like that, I am back in. Love you Beyonce.

9:55 Twitter lets me back in. Now I just want to ignore it. Bitter much?

9:56 now those High School Musical kids? I am back out. MAKE IT STOP

9:57 wait! Girl from Big Love. Back in

10:00 still mad at Twitter and not tweeting GRRR

10:03 wow that first guy is really short (presenting best supporting actor). And I dont think I know any of these actors. That is sad.

10:05 Okay, I know Cuba Gooding, Jr. Speaking of stroke of genius - having him cover RDJ's Tropical Thunder nomination

10:06 Okay, I know Christopher Walken too. And this guy speaking but not his name. Two out of five isnt that bad

10:08 Of course Heath won. as he should.

10:10 Heath's sister almost made me cry. So moving.

10:16 why is that guy that bolted to the stage wearing that crazy scarf?

10:22 Tom Cruise does commercials now. Is that what it has come to?

10:28 I am totally bored.

and that was the end of my twittering/blogging and watching the Oscars. I did not see Best Actress, Best Actor, or even Best Movie.  Doesn't matter. I predicted correctly - Kate Winslet, Sean Penn, Slumdog Millionaire.

Now where's my prize?