Peanut Butter and Popcorn

On a completely different subject, let's talk peanut butter and popcorn. Not together, mind you. Although that could be yummy.  No this is about some recent events involving peanut butter and popcorn, separately.

Here's the thing - I eat the same thing for breakfast every single day.  No lie. Quaker Oatmeal Cinnamon Roll. That is it. No other flavor will do.  When I run out, not only am I sad, but I immediately decide that is justification for a toasted plain bagel loaded with cream cheese from Elaine's*.  Not good.  So I try not to run out of oatmeal.  However, since I am behind in everything including shopping, I ran out this weekend.   So Saturday I woke up and thought "no oatmeal - its bagel time!"  Then I decided I was too lazy to leave the house.  What to eat? 

After rummaging around in our tiny pantry I came up with peanut butter toast. YUM.  So I made some and ate it and all was well in my world.  Until about 20 minutes later when I got a stomach ache.  It was then that it hit me:

There is a peanut butter recall.

PEOPLE DIED.

Suddenly, I was convinced that my peanut butter was tainted and I was GOING TO DIE.  Panicked, I slightly remembered that perhaps big named peanut butter makers were not part of this. So I rushed downstairs to get the peanut butter to see what kind it was and rush back up to do some research into the matter.

45 minutes later I had totally forgotten my quest and instead was doing laundry when B came home.  He mentioned that I didn't look well which triggered thoughts about my stomach ache:

Me: Well I have a slight stomach ache. I think it is from the peanut butter I ate. Do you think I am GOING TO DIE?

B:  Well you are not 80.  

Me: What does that have to do with anything?

B: You are close, but you are not 80.**

Me: AND?????

B: And your immune system is not weakened.

Me: Not that we KNOW of.  Is it only elderly people and weak people dying?

B: I don't know.  Was it a new jar of peanut butter?

Me: No.  It wasn't. It was opened and used.

B:  It was opened? By someone in this house?

Me: Yeah. I think I ate some before.

B: Did you DIE before?

Me: No.....

B:  Peanut butter does not just go bad because it is peanut butter and there is a recall. If it is bad now, it would have been bad before.

Me: Huh

Crisis averted.

Me: Well I am relieved to hear that.

B: Me too. I am also relieved that popcorn didn't kill me.

Flash back a few days earlier, I was making popcorn when B asked me to throw some in the microwave for him.  I told him all I had was some sample pack.  He said throw it in anyway, and I did.  Later when I got it out for him it smelled AWFUL, just AWFUL:

Me: What is wrong with this popcorn?

B: What?

Me: Can't you smell that? It is like lemon or something.

B:  It does smell weird.

Me: Do you think it is bad.

B: I don't know.

Me: Well it is not NORMAL for your popcorn to smell like PLEDGE.

Despite my saying that, B ate it.  B did not die.

Turns out it was lime and salt popcorn.***

Mystery solved.

Crisis averted.

*I love you and miss you Elaine's. See you soon {wink}

**B loves to get his digs in about how much "older" I am. Two years buddy, two little years.  You are no spring chicken and I am no craddle robber.

***Do NOT buy this popcorn unless you plan on dusting with it.  B said it tasted "okay" but the smell was downright nauseating. That cannot be normal or healthy, even if it says it is organic.