Saturday, February 28, 2009

You Do the Crime, You Can't Have the Cracker

Around these parts, we get a little community newspaper every week. Maybe some of you get one in your parts as well? One of the features of these newspapers is usually a crime watch section that tells you what criminal activity has occurred in the past week. Given the nature of these small communities, the crime watches are usually not that involved. Typically you seem some foiled break in attempts, a lot of stolen cars, "suspicious" individuals stopped, and maybe a drunk driving. But every once in a while, a gem will appear. Like this week, when B read me this story. I wish I could have videotaped B's reading because it was hilarious, but, alas, you will have to live with my writing. So here is the "crime" breakdown:

Suspect* enters store and purchases a $.50 piece of candy with a $20 bill.

Suspect then tries to get three $5 bills for a $10 bill.

When that didn't work, suspect tried to get a $5 bill for 4 $1 bills.

When THAT didn't work, suspect told the clerk that he wanted to purchase a $1.09 chocolate covered graham cracker and stated he wanted his original $20 bill back and to start the "transaction" all over again.

At that point the clerk recognized the suspect from his picture being hung in the store**. Clerk must have then said something to the suspect.

Suspect then became agitated and threw the cracker on the counter and left.

Suspect was later found and arrested for attempted larceny and trespassing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ this not THE oldest trick in the book? Trying to get more change back then what you gave and making multiple transactions to fool the clerk? This criminal is a big spender though. Way to break out a $20 for a $.50 piece of candy. Couldn't afford a whole candy bar?

Now, if you are going to try a very old, unoriginal scam, do you think maybe you might want to try it somewhere new? Perhaps not at the place that has caught you before and has felt the need to post your picture?

The clerk had infinitely more patience than I. I think upon the first request for change, he would have been denied with some remark like "This isn't an ATM, son" said in my best Samuel Jackson voice, of course.

That $.50 piece of candy and $1.09 chocolate graham cracker cost this suspect a lot, at least a few days in jail.

Maybe he should have kept that cracker.

*Suspect is a highly technical term used when the person has not yet been convicted of the crime even though we all know he did it, there were eye witnesses and in some instances, even confessions. Drives me crazy. Almost as crazy as the overuse of the word "allegedly."

**I am surprised it took the clerk that long to recognize him actually. Perhaps he tried it on a new clerk and thought that was mixing it up enough.

3 important things being said:

Ruth said...

I love our local paper's crime watch - the criminals and their crimes are so funny.

Jennifer said...

I love stories like this. This happened at our local Tropical Smoothie Cafe. Except the guy actually succeeded.

*~Dani~* said...

Mom - I know! Sometimes they are better than fiction.

Jenny - that is insane. They must employ high schoolers there!

Blog Widget by LinkWithin