Sunday, February 22, 2009

Won't You Be My Neighbor

As you may know from reading some of my past posts, we have not really been about our neighbors in the past. I think things are going to change now. For one, we have moved to Pleasantville. I am serious.  One day when the weather was better and B's parents left our house, I heard no less than four neighbors stop what they were doing, wave and say "HI!".  Unheard of in our world.  

Then, the week before we moved in, we were there dropping stuff off and met this woman from across the street and her little dog.  Her little dog not on a leash who decided to (a) trot across the street without looking, and (b) try to befriend/attack another dog about seven times its size.  This resulted in our new neighbor yelling at the dog repeatedly and chasing the dog around.  In between these antics, the neighbor told me the dog was a replacement dog for one that was lost "tragically."  Let me guess? It was hit by a car.   That neighbor promised to accost, I mean visit, us with a bottle of wine after we moved in.   Let's just say I don't think wine is needed with that one and may actually be quite scary.  Luckily we have had a lot of snow lately and I think she forgot we live here. Whew! Dodged a bullet there.

Then there is my favorite neighbor and B's best friend.  I refer to him as "guy that lives behind us and sits in his room all day with the crazy blinds." That really does sum him up in his entirety. Like B, he has a TV room in the back.  And although he has blinds, he never shuts them. And they hang all crooked which drives B absolutely crazy.  He sits there all day and night watching TV, raising his drink and drinking it, and that's about it. Really.  I pondered whether he lived alone...B insisted he must live with someone else. Why you ask?

Because he has a fluffy white cat.

Yes.  Apparently grown men cannot have fluffy white cats and live alone. They can, however, have one small grey less fluffy cat and live alone and be all manly. But white? That is pushing it.  Neither of us has seen this other home dweller and I happen to think the person doesn't exist. 

So I have a love/hate relationship with the Man That Lives Behind Us. I love that he is always there. Like our constant (any Lost fans out there?), but I hate when he turns and looks at me while I am looking at him. It is kind of freaky. And I feel guilty staring at him (and also intrigued at the same time), but we don't have blinds. He does! And he refuses to shut them.  So it is not my fault I am staring at him, right?  

Well, last night our powers of observation were put to the test.  Earlier in the night I asked B what that new light was. Turns out the Man That Lives Behind Us' back door was open and the light inside was on.  Unusual but not all that strange.  Fast forward to 12:30 a.m. when B comes upstairs:

B: Should I be concerned that the Man That Lives Behind Us' lights are still on and I haven't seen him for hours and his door is still open?
Me: His door is still open.
B: Yep.

We went downstairs and sure enough it was. B decided we should be good neighbors and he got dressed and decided to take a pretend walk around the block in case the guy died shoveling the snow.   Meanwhile I just stayed by the window spying in plain sight.   

And this is the part of the story where you expect there to be a huge finale right?

Dead body?

The fluffy white cat feasting on the body of the Man That Lives Behind Us?

Um, no.

B found nothing. We woke up today and everything was the same way we left it.  I declared if the Man That Lives Behind Us wasn't seen today, I would call the police to check it out.

No worries.  B informed me a few hours ago:

"I just saw the Man That Lives Behind Us...or the guy that killed him"*

Won't you be our neighbor?

*I later saw the guy myself and can confirm it was the Man That Lives Behind Us and not some deranged killer. I also saw the cat for the first time. It is quite fluffy and white.


6 important things being said:

Jennifer said...

This cracks me up. It ranks right up there with when Brian broke into that window and feed the neighbors cat in the cono.

*~Dani~* said...

Yep - we get into all kinds of shenanigans around here. And the Man That Lives Behind Us is still sitting there tonight watching TV and drinking. B says he has "given up on figuring out what he is doing."

Jennifer said...

What does B need to figure out? The guys sits on his couch and drinks beer. That's it. That's all he does.

*~Dani~* said...

Oh no, we are too refined around here to drink beer. That guy is drinking something like scotch, neat. It is always in a glass. I think B is trying to figure out what his story is. How does he get to sit around all day? Is this a year long thing or temporary? Does he ever go outside? Why doesn't he utilize one of the million other rooms in his house?

Bloggers Bro J to tha O to tha N said...

it remind me of "the burbs' with Tom Hanks..or the song "whats he building in there by tom waits..

*~Dani~* said...

Bro - you are such a boy quoting movies and such a hippie quoting Tom Waits. I dont even know who Tom Waits is or what he sung. I am cool...

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