Monday, November 03, 2008

A Date with Civic Duty

B and I do not spend enough time together. We rarely go on "dates." That all changed the other night, however.  We decided to break from the mold and go on a "date" to our city's planning commission meeting.  You read that right. We decided to go to one of those boring city meetings that they tape and then play on some obscure local channel late at night. Sadly, I wish I could tell you that this was my first such meeting. It was not.  However, it was the first time B and I decided to do it as a couple.  

The first meeting I was sent to on my own.  The subject of that meeting was a new bank going in next door to our condo building.  Everyone was up in arms about noise and lighting and whether there would be a wall.  So up in arms that no one was going to go to the meeting to inquire about these things. I had to go. I was not even up in arms!  To be fair, B wanted to go but had to work. So I went as his spokesperson and the spokesperson for the whole condo association who I believe were all sitting on their asses while I suffered through a 3 HOUR MEETING to ask whether lights would be shining into our eyes while we tried to sleep. Seriously.  The bank had to be the last thing on the agenda.  And though I made many new friends, most of them elderly, I decided that would be the LAST of those meetings I went to ever.  

Until the other day when we got not one, but three letters from the city about numerous items that all involved things within 300 feet of us! What was all of this? How did this rezoning affect us? What were they going to do with that old building behind us? WOULD WE GET A NEW WALL? These were our questions, B and I.  We scoured the letter written in strange planning commission language (apparently missing the website address that would surely have answered our questions) and decided that we HAD TO GO TO THAT MEETING.  Much like my newly found elderly friends, we grumbled and crustily marked the date on our calendar. It was a date, just like that. How romantic.

This meeting was so much worse than my first.  And, after two hours, we discovered that none of it really affected us at all. AFTER TWO HOURS.  God help me.  I also found out that one Doris Blake (not her real name) has TOO much time on her hands. She spent precious minutes inquiring about everything and asking questions that were not even supposed to be asked in this meeting.  Sadly, I forgot we were being televised.  I really hope Ms. Doris Blake does not watch it on her local TV channel.   For she will see me rolling my eyes, making faces and sighing heavily.

The same goes true for unknown man who decided to stand up for EVERYONE. He had no particular stake in anything, but that did not stop him. How would this affect such and such company financially? Do you see such and such company here?? If they do not care, why do you?  Thankfully, he got bored and left.

Then there was the architect. B and I had high hopes for him. After all, he was wearing a suit.  But this just proves that you cannot judge a book by its cover. That guy was a fool.  Literally. He was cracking jokes left and right. None of them funny or even appropriate considering he was there representing a bar owner who was attempting to get some plans approved. When the board states that your lights should not be more than 50 watts and then asks how bright they are? Saying 750 watts is not funny.  Nor is betting them a box of donuts.  Or a case of beer.  

My favorite part of this night was when the owner of one of the restaurants was up there speaking. B looked over to me with THE most serious expression on his face and said:

That place...
is...
a...
DUMP

I almost peed myself laughing.  Hope that guy doesn't watch the televised version either.  B went on to say that it was the sleaziest looking restaurant and that it looked like a massage parlor.  He is right.  It does.

After suffering through two hours of the meeting, realizing none of it had any affect on us, receiving a text message from heaven (or from my brother) that Fringe was a repeat and I wasn't missing anything, we decide to leave.  

Home sweet home. But not before B drove me around town so we could see (a) the bar where the improvements were going and (b) the sleazy massage looking restaurant.

We are such romantics.

6 important things being said:

Jennifer said...

Those meetings are so funny! We were just watching one at my parents house on Friday night (we are SO wild). Their township is a mess and the meetings are a hoot!

*~Dani~* said...

Well, I see you guys live it up as a couple too. Goodness.

They are a hoot though, aren't they? At least you had the option of turning the channel. Sadly, the mute button would not work for me either.

Jennifer said...

I think going to the actual meeting we were watching would have been better. One of the board members got up and walked out because he was SO mad. I wouldn't even figure out what the problem was, but I suppose that is typical.

*~Dani~* said...

Jenny - your meeting sounded fun! Which reminds me, at the end of ours they started talking about other meetings and the one guy said the parks and recs meeting the week before got rather heated to which B said "man! We should have went to that one." I think we found a new hobby!

talesandtallies said...

that sounded like a fun outing... that had a lot of random people with no purpose. you and B are so comical, visiting that restaurant that was already in a mess just for laughs!hope to see you on TV

*~Dani~* said...

tales - I am afraid most of our outings have a bunch of random people with no purpose. It is good for laughs though. B just wanted to prove his point - that the place was a dump. Doesn't matter that we had both been by it numerous times. As a matter of fact he remarked how it was closed. Um, perhaps because the guy that runs the joint is that stupid meeting?

Let's hope you do not see us on TV because that would be one reality show that would NOT catch fire. Not because of us though, because of the other people.

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