Sunday, November 02, 2008

Hollow Memories

I didn't do anything special on Halloween. Unless you count falling asleep on the couch at 9:30 and drooling all over myself as special. So sexy.  We never get any kids so we no longer buy candy or carve pumpkins.  Halloween used to be my favorite holiday but I guess I will have to love on that holiday more when we get our own house.  Condos are not conducive to Halloween festivities.

Speaking of houses, B and I decided to go see this house that was for sale in an area we have been dying to get into.  We are not quite ready to buy, but pretty close.  Of course, no one wants to buy our damn condo, but that is a whole other story.  Back to the house.  We get there and the people are still home. Normally that is not an issue but this house is going into foreclosure and the people are being forced out. I really do not want to look at them and be all "oh your house is wonderful" while they sit in a corner and cry or something.  The whole situation is just really sad.

Lucky for us, they did not want to subject themselves to that either. So they left with their dog for a walk.  B walked around critiquing the place, talking about updates, what to do here, what to do there.  I walked around and asked things like "how much do they owe?" "where are they going to go" "they have a KID" "this is so sad."  We were quite the odd couple.

The house, although needing updating, was super sharp. It even had expansion opportunities in the third floor which I loved.  In addition to the kid, the people had a cat. He had his own bedroom. I named him Boots because he had all white paws. I am so original. Boots decided he liked us and was following us all around the house.   This led me to increasingly conversing with Boots.  It was an entirely one sided conversation.  When B decided we needed to see the back porch, I made sure to tell him to be careful not to let Boots outside.  

After perusing the back porch for a while, I open the door to go back in and Boots shoots like a bat out of hell straight out the door, across the porch, and about to go out a small square shaped hole conveniently sized for him. It might be his door but I do not know and surely am not going to be responsible for losing this family's cat seeing as they are losing their home and all. I yell "Grab that cat!"  Luckily B is super quick because he is a superhero. He grabbed the cat and we headed back inside. First crisis averted.

Before we left, we decided to look around the house one last time.  Up in the master bedroom, the windows looked inviting to B. They were really old windows and he wanted to see how they opened.  After a lot of work we got them opened and then discovered we COULD NOT GET THEM CLOSED.  It was puzzling.  We tried the same way he opened them, no luck. We tried brute force, no luck. Finally we discovered you had to push something in to get them to move. Success! But then they wouldn't close all the way. I informed B that my side had to go in first. It took us about 10 minutes to make that happen. Meanwhile Boots was hanging out in our faces. B tried to ask Boots how to shut the window, but the cat remained silent.  After much aggravation, and a little worry on my part, we managed to wrestle those windows closed. Second crisis averted.* After a high five of victory, it was time to leave.

On the way home we decided to drive past my old place.  It was where I lived when I first met B.   Imagine my surprise when it was GONE.  This is a nice old neighborhood. They tore down that house and a few others to put up this misplaced, very new, crazy looking townhouses in the middle of the block. Makes no sense. I told B I was sad because they grazed my memories, especially of the best Halloween EVER.

When I lived there, because the neighborhood was so old and considered somewhat upscale, we would get HUNDREDS of kids trick or treating. It was great.  I, along with my upstairs neighbor and friend, sat outside to pass out candy.  Three funny things happened that night:

1.  The chubby girl next door to us was dressed as a princess with a long blonde wig. She was about 6 and thought she was "hot stuff."  As she passed a boy coming up our walk way, she flipped her wig hair and said "Alex" all hot stuffy like.  Alex looked at her like he despised her and said "ANGELA" in the most despising condescending voice that could come out of a six year old.  He was not fooled by her disguise. I had to hide my face, I was laughing so hard.

2. Two boys came trick or treating. One was wearing a costume and the other was not. My upstairs neighbor said to the costume-less kid "wow, you couldn't even bother to wear a costume." And that kid, with complete seriousness and in the most pitiful voice I have ever heard, said to her "mom could only afford one costume this year and HE got to wear it."  I turned to my neighbor and said "good job!"  She felt crappy and practically dumped her whole bowl of candy in his bag.

3. Last, but definitely not least, was my favorite trick or treater - the 60 year old drunk woman with no costume on and a plastic CVS bag.  Are you kidding me? She weaved her way up to our porch, shouted "Trick or Treat" and just opened her bag.  Despite my inclination to fall on the ground laughing or to inquire as to her costume, I decided to just give her extra candy. Heck, if she needed it THAT bad, she was welcome to it.

I guess my memories were not grazed at all.  But I really loved that house I lived in for one year, five years ago.  And, for me, that is saying A LOT.  Just ask any of my family and friends who had to change their address book every 6 months to a year.

* I didn't tell B, but I was about to leave those windows, get in the car and go home. The owners should know how to shut their own windows, right?

4 important things being said:

Jennifer said...

I have so many comments on this.

1) You should trade those people. Your condo for their house. Heck, you'll even throw a little cash their way. They will surely need a place soon!

2) Somewhat upscale? Hah. It is more than somewhat upscale! I was there Halloween night and it was jam-packed.

3) I agree. Condo + Halloween = Crappy.

*~Dani~* said...

Jenny - you are hilarious. In order:

1. I dont think they want to leave their upscale neighborhood to come to our apartment style condo. Although it really is affordable for them.

2. I said somewhat upscale because I didn't want to sound all snobby and it because I didn't own a place there, just rented.

3. Agreed! Do you even get kids at your place?

Matt said...

The exact same thing happened at my condo.

Zero trick or treaters. Little jerks.

*~Dani~* said...

Matt - you are right. Little jerks. Can't they see what a score they could have had with minimal walking? But what do we know? It is not like we are pros. It is not like I didn't score bag upon bag of candy lasting me well into 6 months after Halloween despite having eaten it for breakfast, lunch, dinner AND snacks. Amateurs.

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