We All Scream for Ice Cream

Apparently there is a new diet I have not yet heard about it.  It involves eating mounds of ice cream before 10:00 a.m. on the weekends.

Every Saturday (or Sunday as I change the days to accompany my "workout schedule" which is in quotes because I intend to work out but never really do), my Mom and I go out to breakfast.  We go to the same place even though my brother, when allowed to accompany us, has pointed out that the place is overpriced.*  But here's the thing...it is right down the road from my Mom's house, the waitresses are really nice, they recognize us and they know our orders by heart (although I sometimes confuse them by changing my orders like I change my "workout schedule").  It was during these breakfasts that my Mom and I started to notice what we have dubbed as the "Early Morning Mounds of Ice Cream Diet."

We were casually chatting about our lives, silly men, blogs, and contests when I noticed a woman eating a LOT of ice cream.  I could not really believe what I was seeing was true, so I asked my mom to nonchalantly look. She confirmed that, indeed, the woman was eating a LOT of ice cream.  However, she was almost done so we could not be sure that it was the only thing she had eaten.  A couple of weeks later, same lady - same ice cream. And it was the ONLY thing she ate.  Big mounds of chocolate ice cream.  Okay, mystery ON.

A few more times, same lady.  Then one day as my Dad joined us, a DIFFERENT lady is eating all of this ice cream. We point it out to him. He says "huh."  Apparently the male species just is not that intrigued by the mystery ice cream diet.  My Mom mentions how there is a Weight Watchers' location right next door and maybe this is their special treat.  Look, I am familiar with WW and I do not believe anywhere in the plan are you supposed to have huge mounds of ice cream FOR BREAKFAST. Especially after you just weighed in.  Kind of defeats the whole purpose of changing your eating habits, don't you think?  But I am not ready to dismiss my Mom's theory because it is just too coincidental to see these women, right next to the WW, right after a meeting, in their crazy sweatsuit outfits, reading the paper and eating ice cream. Oh, did I mention that they all read the paper while doing this? Cause they do. It's a fact.

So every week, we go to lunch, my Mom and I. We do not witness these ladies every week.  That makes me forget about them until the next time we see them. Like yesterday.  Another new EMMICD** dieter came in and this time I saw the big mounds of ice cream being delivered to her. And I heard her ask for a straw.  A straw!  My Mom, who had unfortunately left the table at this time and missed the exchange, upon being informed what had happened queried "Why a straw? What is she going to do with that?"  "What do you THINK?", I cried, "She is going drink the melted ice cream.  There is no way someone can eat all that ice cream before it melts!"  Desperate times call for desperate measures.  And a straw.

So tell me...is there a special EMMICD out there that I have not yet heard about? Does it require eating mounds of chocolate (yes, only chocolate) ice cream with or without a straw, while reading a newspaper and just after a WW meeting gets out, while wearing a sweatsuit? Because I don't know about you, but to me it sounds like the cause of the problem, not a way to fight the problem.

But what do I know? I eat eggs for breakfast.

*FYI Bro - they have a new $2.99 breakfast special on the weekends - 2 eggs, 2 bacon, 2 sausage and toast. Watch out! They must have overheard your complaints.

**EMMICD stands for "Early Morning Mounds of Ice Cream Diet" in case you were not paying attention.