Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Crime Watch Wednesday: Fanning the Flame of Friendship


This week's Crime Watch Chronicles brings us the story of a friendship gone bad and a crime that didn't quite take:

A former friend was found to be a suspect in an attempted arson. A woman came home to find a small puddle of liquid, thought to be lighter fluid, and a burned cigarette under the front tire of her vehicle. Around that same time the woman received a text message from her former friend, who had been harassing her and threatening her for weeks, that read:

"I tried to light on fire ur shit"

Yes, yes you did. You tried to light on fire the woman's shit. But you didn't. You know what else you did? You ADMITTED TO A CRIME. And you did so via a poorly worded text message. That is traceable to your phone number. Apparently, also the phone number used to harass and threaten this same woman for weeks. Now the police are asking for any additional information, but the truth is? They have all of the information they need. They have:
  • your name
  • your phone number
  • your CONFESSION
You didn't start the fire, babe, but you are still going to get burned.

Case closed.

On a side note, who the hell attempts to start a fire, fails, and then announces the ridiculous attempt to their enemy. That would be like firing an arrow at a person while standing behind a tree and then after missing jumping out and yelling "I tried to shoot this arrow through your heart."

No shit, but you didn't.



6 important things being said:

Jennifer said...

The true problem here is the poor grammer. It should read "I tried to light ur shit on fire".

j'lynn said...

IMO, the true problem here is the fact that the cops are requesting more information... Do they fear that they cannot charge with a confession, badly worded or not?!?

Blaez said...

most likely she moved or is hiding and they can't find it if they're requesting more info...

people are idiots.

J said...

Ha ha what a genius. People can be so stupid.

J said...

Also wanted to say that this arsonist is like the arsonist in all bar review arsonist fact patterns: incompetent!

*~Dani~* said...

Jennifer - yes, if you fail at grammar, you will probably fail at arson. That's a fact.

jlynn - maybe they cannot find her as Blaez suggests? I saw follow the trail of badly worded texts.

Blaez - entirely possible. She sounds the type.

J - agreed. And you are right - that TOTALLY sounds like all of the arsonists, in fact all of the criminals, in the bar review fact pattern. Apparently, it doesn't get any better out in the real world.

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