I May Have Heels and You May Be Closer But I Will Win

Not everything in my life is a competition, however, I will admit that sometimes I see a competition where none exists. At other times, I create a competition that might not otherwise have been there.  For example, the other day I had to go to an ATM by our house on my way to court because I have to park where they only take cash. Again with the cash only! I never have cash.  So, anyway, I pull up to the corner bank in a dubious area and ponder parking in the fire lane since it is a walk up ATM and the parking spots are about six feet away. Since this bank was near where I got a ticket last year, I decided not to take my chances and park legally.

Into the first parking spot I went. Just as I was turning my car off, this minivan pulls up and parks in the fire lane. The van is a mere two feet from the ATM and I am pissed! Because of my good citizen ways, I am going to have to wait for another person to use the ATM.

Unless I beat them there first, that is.

Just as the guy was getting out of his car, I was out of mine and running in high heels and a suit.  I jumped a curb, ran through some grass and some bushes and got to the ATM in time. I resisted the urge to yell out "FACE" or some other sort of "nah nah" sentiment and hurried my transaction along.  I turned to find the guy leaning against his car.

Guy: You beat me.

Me: Yes, but you got that awesome parking spot.

Guy: But you are wearing a nice suit.

Me: Touche

Okay, I didn't actually say that last thing, but he did compliment me on my suit. I only slightly felt like an ass.  I also felt like an Olympic athlete.

Then I went to the car to catch my breath.

I Think This is My Floor, Even if it Isn't.

Guess where I am? Why, yes, preparing for another trial. Not like I didn't just have one last week.  Not like this trial isn't practically the same trial from last week.  

Man I am tried.  

Until this trial is over, I leave you with another court related story.  This one from about a year ago. Yes, I am THAT behind in my post writing.

So I was in an elevator at court, the same court I will be in this week, when a guy gets pushed onto the elevator with a bailiff. There is already one bailiff on the elevator, I notice.

I sense trouble.

A couple of floors later my friend gets on the elevator. I tug on her sleeve so she moves behind the troublemaker.

A couple of floors later a THIRD bailiff gets on the elevator.

Then the trouble starts:

B: You are leaving the building

G: No I'm not. I got business here.

B: I don't care what you got, I am making you leave the building.

G: MAN YOU CAN'T DO THAT.

B: YES I CAN. AND I WILL. YOU ARE LEAVING. YOU CAN SAY WHATEVER YOU WANT.

Me: Can we discuss this on the ground floor?

G: I know what this is.

B: CALL IT WHATEVER YOU WANT, YOU ARE OUTTA HERE.

G: I know what you are.

B: I really don't care what you think I am.

G: I know what you are.

B: Whatever.

G: You are jealous.

I know what you are thinking. What in the hell were they even talking about? I have no clue. I think there was about to be some accusations of racism, sexism, ageism, and any other ism you could think of by G.  However, I am fairly confident that no matter what was going on, the bailiffs were NOT jealous of G.

I was just glad to be outta there myself.

Guess Where I Am? Here's a Hint: My Mind Is Mush

I have been missing lately because I am preparing for yet another trial. Seriously. Remember when I had one in March, then there was one in August, and then one in December right before our party? Three in 9 months was not enough. I have another one starting today. This one is a two-fer, meaning when the trial is over, it just starts back up again with the same parties and the same court but fighting over different money.

Who wants to be me?

I didn't think so. In any event, as you read this I will be arguing my butt off.  To commemorate this event, I will share an exchange with the Judge from the first day of the March trial:

Judge: Are you sure you want to proceed with this case?
Me: Yes....
{Later}
Judge (to the other attorney): Are YOU sure you want to proceed with this case?
Him: Um...yes...?

I can only hope today is going half as well.