Crime Watch Wednesday: I Lost My Dog and My Man, But This Ain't No Country Song

It's been a while, hasn't it?  Over two weeks. I am tried of giving you the same refrain "I had a trial. It is tiring.  Litigating is hard." However, I will say this one was crazy because I basically had to try the same case twice, one week at a time, in front of a different jury each time.  And guess what? I won one and lost the other. Go figure. The best news? I think I am done with trials for a while.  Whew! It has been a long 10 months.

It is Wednesday which is typically Crime Watch Wednesdays around here. When I remember. This week I bring you a special Crime Watch Wednesday starring me, B and Jersey. We haven't made the Crime Watch Chronicles. Yet.

So it was the night before my trial. The first one. I decided to go to bed around 11 and B thought he would let Jersey out for one more bathroom break so she could go to bed with me.  As I am making the bed (yes sometimes I make the bed at night) I hear B yell out Jersey's name in that panicked you-better-get-back-here-right-now voice. The last time he yelled that out, she had run across two streets to go "play" with some dogs being walked by their owner. They were not fun dogs and she was soon cowering back.  Anyway, I ran over to the bedroom window to find B walking down the street with a flashlight. Not a good sign.

I did not even put on a coat, but just ran out in my pajama pants and sweatshirt. I could not see either of them. Having no idea what had happened, I decided I would go in the opposite direction that I saw B head, just in case Jersey was some super ninja dog that went left, fooled B, and then went right.  Just as I made it to the corner I heard B yelling Jersey's name again from the opposite end of the block.  I turned and started to make my way back there, all the time hearing B yelling her name.

At this point I am walking down the street with the following thoughts going through my head:

"I cannot believe we lost our dog the day before my trial."

"How am I going to sleep tonight?"

"How am I going to try a case tomorrow when I will be thinking my dog is lost and dead somewhere?"

"Why do we keep losing our flippin' animals?"

Just then, I see Jersey dart across the street and on to my same sidewalk.  I excitedly called her name and clapped and she came booking straight toward me just as I heard a car come down the street.  I prayed she would just come straight to me and thankfully she did.  I made her sit and called B's name a few times, but he had vanished.  So I walked Jersey home, locked her up inside and went back out yelling B's name.  Well trying to yell quietly. It was late at night after all.

Finally, I spotted him far away, got his attention and told him I had her.  As he got closer he said "did she have a rabbit in her mouth?" Um, no.  Apparently she took off after a rabbit before B could even say her name. When I heard him yell the second time when I was in the street she took off between some houses never to be seen again.  As we are discussing this two more cars drive down the street. Police.  Of course. Our yelling was not going to go unnoticed.

They did not stop.

You see two people out in the cold late at night, yelling, one wearing pajama pants and you just drive by.

Policing is hard work people.

Apparently so is pet ownership.

Could I ever do anything wrong?

Quick Poll as This Year Comes to an End to Determine Whether You Know B and I

While everyone else in the blogosphere is focusing on the new year, resolutions, and reliving the past, I like to focus on what is really important - what I plan on doing tonight. 

Not much.

How fun was that? It will undoubtedly involve watching movies, flipping TV channels and surfing the net. B has to work, although he will be home before midnight.

In honor of my huge plans, I bring you a post I wrote in June. No kidding.  Be prepared for more of that in 2011.  New Year/Old Posts. That's my new slogan.

So...

The following movies were just shipped to our house by Netflix:

1. Daybreakers

2. Capturing the Killer Croc

3. Descent: Part 2

4. 2012

So, my faithful blog readers, which 2 movies belong to B and which two belong to me? I think this might be an easy one, but you never know.

Bonus points to the person who can guess who in this house is receiving the following movie:

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

What say you, readers?

Whether you are staying in and watching movies, going out and partying, watching the ball drop, or sleeping through the New Year, stay safe and have a great time.

From our family to yours,

What Happens If You Unfriend Your Only Friend? Are You Friendless or Are You Free?

I heard somewhere that today is National Unfriend Day or something. Facebook users are supposed to pare down their friend list and get rid of the unnecessary bulk.  This topic is extremely timely as I have found that I have recently been defriended by a few people.

Now, I do not particularly care if someone defriends me. Except maybe my mom, although she is not on Facebook.  Okay, maybe my brother, my husband, my best friend, that would be sad.  Random people that I reconnected with, but haven't really talked to much? I take no offense.  Time is short. Life is hard. Facebook is full of posts.  Although in my defense, I don't post a lot. Wait. Maybe I am boring people?

In any event, I typically only notice I have been defriended when it is someone that posts a lot and then all of a sudden they stop.  No, they didn't stop. They are still posting endlessly on Facebook, I just don't get to see it.  On to the next 100 posts from friends and family.

But you know what is strange? When you get defriended by someone who only has one friend on Facebook - YOU.  Seriously this just happened to me. Actually, I don't know when it happened because you are not exactly notified when your friendship has been deactivated.  I will pretend it just happened.

So, I am going through my old facebook messages and I find one from this friend that I invited to Facebook. That's right, he wasn't even on Facebook until I came calling. Better yet, I was his only friend. That was a bit strange.  You know what else is strange?  He would post things to his wall, news articles and tidbits and I realized, as his only friend, he was posting directly to me!  Was I supposed to comment on every thing he posted? Why did he think I wanted to read articles from the Wall Street Journal? Was he trying to tell me something?  I guess now I will never know.

You know what is stranger? He is still on Facebook. Without any friends.  Yes, I have been defriended by someone who would rather have no friends than be my friend.  It is like he is the king of Facebook, but he doesn't have any subjects.  

Facebook = bringing people together, tearing them apart, and killing all self esteem.

Now who can *I* defriend??

If It Is Going to Be a Bad Day When You See a Werewolf, What Happens When You Are Standing Barefoot in the Cold?

Remember about a week or two ago when I said I had a bad day that started with a werewolf sighting?  Well, I topped myself without even trying.  Every week it is my job to take out the recycling on garbage day.  If I was not the hugest procrastinator around, I would do this the evening before.  That, however, is not in my nature.  So I do it the morning of pickup.  I had the routine down to a science, or so I thought.

You see, our front door does not self lock. Neither does our back door, but for an entirely different reason.  Often I have told friends, family, and delivery men not to worry about the door shutting or slamming behind me, "it won't lock me out."  You know what this means, right? IT FLIPPING LOCKED ME OUT.

Of course that would be the morning I elected not to wear socks or shoes despite the fact that it was under 50 degrees. I was also in a tshirt with wet hair having just gotten out of the shower.  No keys. No phone. No mad survivor skills.

It was 6:30 a.m.

It was dark. It was cold. I was PISSED. I think I said something like "YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!" I looked around our very dark neighborhood. No one was up. And if they were, what where they going to do for me?  So I go to the back where we have a spare key in a lockbox. I don't know the code.

I DON'T KNOW THE CODE TO GET MY OWN SPARE KEY TO MY OWN HOUSE.

And it is dark and I cannot see. And I have no shoes. Did I mention that?  

I go back up front to see if I can force the door open and see the hip neighbor guy taking his garbage out. I run over there with my lockbox and scream "DO YOU KNOW THE CODE TO THIS?"  Sadly, he did not. But his wife did because she lets Jersey out for us occasionally. He invites me inside and then says "Are you not wearing any shoes?" 

I DIDN'T PLAN THIS YOU KNOW!!

So I got in and ready for work, although I never really got warm again. When I got to work I sent B a text that said:

FYI - Should you go outside with wet hair and no shoes on, you will get locked out in the dark having forgotten the code to the lockbox.

To which he replied:

Don't worry. I know it.

There is a lesson here folks.  Teach your dog how to open doors. Because, as it turns out, the door was not even locked.  The door handle on the outside just wasn't working properly. Had Jersey pushed down on the inside door handle, I could have gotten in. Instead she ran from window to window wondering what fun I was having outside.  I was having a blast. An arctic blast.

Tomorrow is garbage pickup day. What are the odds that I:

1. Wear shoes
2. Wear a sweatshirt
3. Lock myself out
4. Remember the code
5. Learn any lesson from all of this

I better start training Jersey right now.

Knock, Knock: Housekeeping!

Just a brief message to clue you into some changes on the blog. Nothing major by any means, just a few additions.

As I told you previously, I have been writing review's for Daemon's TV.  When I first started, I would do the breakthrough posts to let you know that a new review was posted.  After a few weeks I found that a bit too disruptive.  Also, I started writing more things for Daemon's and wanted to create a special space for those things as well.  

So, pages was born.  I have created pages over <----- there to the left that I update when anything new happens. There is a page for all of my TV reviews, updated weekly with each show.  There is a page for a recent series of articles I am writing about my all time favorite TV shows. There is a page for upcoming fall shows (so excited!). Other pages will be added a needed.

So, if you watch TV as much as I do, go over to the left and see what I am up to and what I think about what I am watching. I would love to hear what you think too!

*I am sure this is not the last format change for the blog. If anyone knows of an excellent blog designer, let me know!

They Know Your Every Step. Especially When You Tell Them Your Every Step. Also, Reindeer Are Super Fast.

So the last time I posted, Brad has escaped but miraculously returned the next morning like a grimy Christmas present.  You will also recall that I had quite the conversation with the delivery place whom we thought were the reason for Brad's Great Escape. Turns out it wasn't so, but in the meantime a strange thing happened. Or so I thought.

After I finished yelling at the operator, she told me that she could tell me which branch delivered my package. I gave her my zip code, she told me what branch and then proceeded to tell me they don't have a phone number. I found this hard to believe but just declared "I WILL JUST GO THERE IN PERSON AND DEMAND TO SPEAK TO MY DRIVER. GOOD DAY!"  

And then I didn't give it anymore thought until I came home, discovered the ripped screen and told B that I didn't think the delivery place had anything to do with it.  I did not tell him, however, that while he was out searching for Brad, the delivery place drove by. He probably would have been angry that I didn't chase the driver down.

The next day after Brad was safe and sound and I was back at the office, I received a text from B indicating that the delivery place had called him and told him that they spoke to the driver who remembers seeing Brad on the catio. B told them not to worry, Brad may have been spooked, got supercat strength and busted out the screen. Not their fault.  Well, not really.

Meanwhile I sat in my office perplexed.  How did the delivery place know to call B? How did they get his number? When I called, I only gave them our zip code. I did not call from B's number. Hell, I didn't even call from my number.  I considered this an amazing show of just HOW GOOD THEIR TRACKING COULD BE. I discussed it a lot with my coworkers and would say things like:

"How did THEY know?"

"Did they just ask EVERY driver if it saw a cat?"

"Did they just narrow down deliveries in that time frame?"

"Did they narrow down deliveries by zip code?"

"Do they have a satellite?"

"Are they watching me RIGHT NOW?"

Yes, I would look up and around the ceiling at that last one.  By the time I got home I was full of conspiracy theories and thought we might have to run like Will Smith in that movie where they were tracking him all over when he mistakenly took a package in a store and the woman behind me in the theater kept gasping at "ALL OF THAT TECHNOLOGY."

So I came home prepared to tell B that we were going to have to pack light and really, how does one go on the lam with three cats and a dog, when B said:

B: What in the hell are you talking about?

Me: The delivery place! They knew to call you! I didn't give them ANY information.  They have satellites. They are watching us.

B; What...what?

Me: HOW DID THEY GET YOUR PHONE NUMBER? HOW DID THEY KNOW TO CALL?

B: I emailed them yesterday.

Me: THEY KNOW EVERYTHING WE DO!!!...wait, what?

B: I. Emailed. Them.

Me: Well, hell, why didn't you tell me that? That makes a lot more sense.

B: Doesn't it?

So the delivery place isn't watching me. Allegedly. They are still suspect. Don't worry though, I am sending Vicky after them.

On a completely different topic, watch the video below. This man's wife literally gets taken by a reindeer and he does NOTHING. He barely moves.

I would like to think if we were in the same situation, B would at least TRY to run after me. However, I may be mistaken. B's response was "reindeer are REALLY fast."  Well, gee thanks. Apparently, I don't have much to worry about though as B assures me I would never be somewhere where I would have to wear a big furry parka, outside in the snow with a reindeer in the vicinity.

He is probably right. Just to be safe, I am going to get one of those kid leashes for us. If the reindeer gets me, he is coming along too. Ha!

Pretty Little Liars Review Up and Ready for Reading!

This is it! My first review since becoming an official member of Daemon's TV. So, go check out my review of this week's episode of Pretty Little Liars. It's a good one.

Are you watching yet? You should. Tuesdays at 8:00 p.m. on ABCFamily. Don't let the teenage plot fool you, it is a good show that keeps gaining momentum with each episode.