From Our House to Yours...

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Have a safe and relaxing Memorial Day.

 

Wordless Wednesday: Sometimes You Have to Read It to Believe It

Cell Phones Are Evil, But People Are Good and I Am Surprised

Cell phones are evil.  I came to this conclusion yesterday when I lost mine.  You may be wondering how that is the cell phone's fault. It is not. That is not what makes it evil.  The evil lies in the fact that the mere possibility that I lost my Blackberry FROZE ME.  I repeat - I COULD NOT FUNCTION.  Let me walk you through it.

My mom and I were shopping. We were in a big grocery store and I had the phone in my pocket and then later put it in my purse.  My mom called me to tell me where she was in the store and then we left for the next big grocery store. It was at least an hour later when I went to call my mom to see where she was that I realized I didn't have a phone.  Eventually I found her and we went to the car.  No phone there.

My mom tried to call it. We couldn't hear it.  I decided we would have to go back to the first store to see if by some miracle it was there.  And then I had these thoughts:

1. I need to call B to tell him what happened. SHIT I DON'T HAVE A PHONE.
2. I don't even know my own brother's phone number.*
3. What if my client needs me?**
4. What is someone is reading and responding to my personal emails?
5. What if I find the phone and someone drove over it in the parking lot?
6. Number 5 might be the best scenario.
7. Will we really ever find this phone?
8. Why is the month of October being so DAMN MEAN to me?

While I was having these and many other thoughts and as we were driving to the store, my mom's phone rang and she looks at me excitedly and says "It's YOU!"  Turns out I left the phone in the cart (the cart I walked myself to the cart corral) and some guy found it, kept it and apparently waited for us to call.

We drove back and I called him to get my phone.  My mom told me to give him $5 to play the lottery.  That did not quite go so well:

Me: Hi! Thanks so much for holding on to my phone.

Guy: No problem.

Me: Here (holding out money) go play the lotto and win.

Guy: Nah! It's no big deal.

Me: No, really - go play the lotto and win.

Guy: No, really.

Me: GO PLAY THE LOTTO AND WIN!!

Guy: uh...have fun? 

And then he ran away.

But I had my phone, the evil phone that apparently runs my life. Vicky and Jersey take note.  And my faith in humanity has been restored.  Even if he wouldn't take my money.

This was day 16 of October.  I have not even mentioned what happened on day 15 or day 13.

It is going to be a long month.

*My husband doesn't even know MY number. Have I mentioned that?
**Why can't I stop thinking about the office even for a minute and during a crisis? Ugh.

Please Don't Betty White Me. Well, You Can, and I Will Be Flattered, But I Will Decline

I know I am late to this bandwagon, but what else is new? However, it was just this last week that something I heard on a radio show made me stop to think a little bit more about this Betty White situation.

As you all know, there was a facebook campaign to get Saturday Night Live to invite Betty White to host the show. This was a big deal because Betty White is in her 80s, a fantastic actress, but has never hosted the show. The campaign was successful and Betty was a hit.

Now, though, people are getting carried away. There is a facebook campaign to have her host the Emmys and the Oscars. I am sure next it will be the Grammys and Dick Clark's New Year's Eve. But, has anyone stopped to ask Betty White if she wants all of this? Maybe she doesn't want to host the Emmys or the Oscars or the Grammys or any number of things people are surely sitting around concocting facebook campaigns for. How do we know?

Yes, I am sure she is honored. She is also in her 80s. She has been an actress for decades. Maybe she wants to relax, garden, surf the net. Maybe she doesn't want to spend hours and hours practicing for hosting gigs. We will never know, though, will we? No one has stopped to ask her.

Well, let me make it clear to you all. I don't want a facebook campaign to do something cool that somehow turns into a landslide of campaigns of more things to do which are less and less cool and more and more work. That is not fun to me. Fun to me is watching a good movie that you have to rewind four times because you keep falling asleep under a comfy blanket because it is raining out and it is Sunday and Monday is a holiday. THAT is fun.

You know what I want? Certainly love and adoration, but quieter and more subdued. And no facebook campaigns.

Unless the facebook campaign involves something that would allow me to watch more movies under comfy blankets and no work on Mondays.

In that case, campaign away!*

*If anyone could accomplish this, it would be my blog readers, you are the best!**

**That is not a bribe, you really are the best and I love you.***

***But if you can make that happen, I would love you even more.

There's Beauty Everywhere, But Not Everyone Gets an Award for it, Do They?

Remember when B decided to go all out and put up Christmas lights on the house? Remember when I wasn't very keen about the icicle lights because they are LED and kind of bluish/bright? Remember when I "warmed" up to them?* Well, this is the post where I admit that B was right and I was wrong.

And B says "I TOLD YOU SO. I AM ALWAYS RIGHT. WHY DO YOU DOUBT ME?"

Then I tell him to stop shouting or I will take back everything I just said.

So he waves a flag in my face. Not a real flag. A piece of paper that PROVES HE IS RIGHT.

Yes, we came home to an envelope addressed to "The Greatest Christmas Light Designer and Hanger Ever" in our mailbox. Actually it was addressed to "Award Winner," but that was pretty close.

And, actually, I came home to an open envelope. B opened it, saw it, gloated and then silently left it for me to discover on my own. When I did, I smiled.

I am so proud.

B is a genius.

B is an award winner.

And to all of those neighbors that couldn't be bothered to stop and "ahhh" and "ooohhh" at our house like the other houses around us?

WE WON AN AWARD!

Did you?**

Until next year, bitches.

*Like what I did there? "Warmed up" to the icicle lights? Genius, right there. Genius.

**For all I know, everyone got one of these awards. I choose to believe they did not.

Why Yes, I Am a Beautiful Mermaid and I Will Accept Your Award...

J from She's Country recently bestowed the Mermaid Splash Award upon me:

The rules are as follows:

1. Put the logo on your blog/post.

2. Nominate up to 9 blogs which allure, amuse, bewitch, impress or inspire you.

3. Be sure to link to your nominees within your post.

4. Let them know that they have been splashed by commenting on their blog.*

5. Remember to link to the person from whom your received your Splash award.

6. Have F~U~N

So, without further adieu, my nominees are as follows:

1. Molly from These Little Moments - her posts always amuse me, like this one about leggings.
2. saratogajean from Bad Mutha Fudruckers - her posts amuse, allure, bewitch and impress me. And her paint drawing skills for the blog? Incredible. Check out this hilarious post.
3. phishez of Sanity Optional. She doesn't post frequently, but when she does, it is always worth it.
4. Jennifer from Our Family Blog - because she is my SIL, funny as hell, and she blogs about my nephew. How could you resist a toddler that likes National Lampoon's Christmas?
5. Tammy from mandatorybloghere - what's not to love? She drunk decorates cookies and shoots houses around her neighborhood (my favorite feature!).
6. Dolce from La Dolce Vita - this girl cracked me up before she got pregnant. I was relieved to find nothing has changed since the baby - with a post entitled Don't Touch the Boob Bag, I think you would agree.
7. rachel of Confessions of a Jersey Girl - I have been reading rachel's blog for quite some time and have watched her go through ups and downs and so many events which is exactly why I am nominating her. Her life story is compelling and growing and you are able to watch it all unfold, no holds barred.
8. patricia of bloom where you're planted - I originally found patricia through her previous blog, Wags to Riches, and we became Twitter buddies. When she started a new blog, I made sure to follow. Her blog is full of pictures, random facts about her, stories and her new house! Also? How could I not love a woman whose favorite word is "albeit" because it is "four words in one"?
9. Catherinette at Bridget Jones Has Nothing On Me - I know if I ever need an immediate laugh or puke, I should head to her blog. She has the best TMI stories, a Just the Tip Tuesday feature that you should check out, and is generally awesome.

Do these gals a favor and check them out. You won't regret it!

*I pretty much broke this rule. I am just too lazy. You don't even want to know how long it took me to put together this post. It is embarrassing.

Who Am I to Ignore Awards and Accolades?

Two lovely readers of this little ol' blog decided that they wanted to bestow awards on me. I would be an ungrateful lady if I did not share them with you and thank them properly. My mom brought me up right. Or my dad. Or the milkman. Whatever.

The first award, the Best Blog Award, is from Blaez over at These Are the Days of One Gemini.

Blaez says that I crack her up and I hope that she means that I am funny and not that I drive her nuts. Look how pretty that award is. You know what would make it even prettier? If I had a nice laptop that matched it. Preferably a Mac Book. Are you listening universe? K, thanks.

You should check out Blaez's blog for these reasons (1) it is pretty. Really - pink writing on black background? Love. And (2) she is currently planning a wedding which you know will make for some interesting blogging!

The next two awards are from Debbie of Starting My Life at 35. Yes, she gave me two awards. She loves me that much. You know who I love? Debbie. She gave me two awards.

Debbie thinks my blog is lovely AND a great read. Why thank you Debbie. I think Debbie has mad painting skills and love that she hates ants as much as I do!

Now it is my turn to pass these awards along. And here is where I am going to cheat and say everyone on my blogroll gets an award. I love them all or I wouldn't read them. They are all winners in my book. Or on my blog. Or in my head. Whatever.

Check them out folks. They keep me coming back for more!