Wordless Wednesday: Everyone Needs a Shoulder to Lean On

Wordless Wednesday: A Future Horror Fan is Born!

My Name is Dani and I Must Kick Your Car. Its a Problem

My name is Dani and I have a problem.

I like to kick cars.

Well, not cars exactly, but things on cars. What exactly do I mean? Let me explain.

Winter sucks. You know what the only good thing about winter is? Kicking cars. You know how snow gathers and clumps in the wheel wells of cars? That's what I am talking about. They must be kicked.

Seriously. They call my name. I love the satisfaction I get when I succeed in dislodging one and the thudding sound it makes when it falls to the ground. This may be the only thing I like about winter. Except maybe fleece.

My obsession with this kicking snow clumps is SO bad that I will kick other people's clumps as I stumble upon them. I try to do it when no one is looking for fear that someone will think that I am actually trying to kick their car and find retribution by performing a physical assault on me.

One time, I was so excited when we were stopped at a red light that I threatened to get out of our car to kick a nearby snow clump. B even egged me on. However, I truly did not feel like he had my back and would just laugh and drive away when the person confronted me. Husbands can be so mean.

Recently, this obsession took on a scarier angle as, in my enthusiasm to kick a snow clump off of a neighboring car, I lost my footing on a piece of ice and almost wiped out. It made me second guess my fun hobby. After all, hobbies shouldn't maim you, right?

The next day, though, I was back to kicking.

It is a problem.

I have to kick snow clumps on cars.

I must.

Flashback Friday: It's Never Too Dark to Wear Shades

When I was a small child in middle school, we made a time capsule. Okay, I wasn't small. It was 1984 or 1985 so I was about 12 or 13. In any event, we filled out a piece of paper that, today, would be considered a meme on the internet. It had information about us, what we liked, what was happening that year, etc. The goal, I believe, was to open it the next year. My memory is actually fuzzy on the specifics.

You know who's memory is not fuzzy? My mom's memory. That woman is as sharp as a tack, whatever that means. One time I mentioned the time capsule and she reminded me what I put in it. Yes, she remembered after all of those years. I wish she had forgotten.

Apparently, I wrote that my favorite song of all time - ALL TIME - was Corey Hart's "I Wear My Sunglasses at Night."

Wait...what?

I must have banged my head as a child. However, for your listening and reading pleasure, below is a video from You Tube complete with lyrics. Check this gem out:

Now I am kind of confused about some of they lyrics. Let's start with these:

And I wear my sunglasses at night, so I can, so I can

Keep track of visions in my eyes

Honestly, that may be the only part of the lyrics that make some sort of sense to me. I mean if you are wearing sunglasses it blocks everything from your sight so you can only see the visions in your eyes (or head). Wait? Sunglasses only cut down on glare? They don't make you blind? Well, there goes that theory.

Now about these lyrics:

Don't switch the blade in the guy in shades, oh no

Don't masquerade with the guy in shades, oh no, I can't believe it

'Cause you got it made with the guy in shades, oh no

Before I discuss these, I want to note that I believe this song is a love song. Don't believe me? Just take another look at that last line "you got it made with a guy in shades." Sounds like a love tune to me.

However, I am not quite sure what "don't switch the blade" means? Is there a knife involved? Is this a song about domestic violence? Also, I think masquerading around someone wearing shades is perfectly acceptable because they CANT SEE YOU. Oh, wait. That's right. You are just not as bright or something.

Speaking of bright...I think I lost half of my brain cells analyzing this song that I thought was super cool in the 80s. So cool, it made it into a TIME CAPSULE as my favorite song EVER.

I need therapy.

If you want to check out the actual video with Corey Hart, follow the link below. The video will not assist you much in figuring out the lyrics unless watching Corey sing into a phone "don't switch the blade on a guy in shades, oh no" while the cops approach means something to you. If it does, and you can explain, please let me know. I have a time capsule to edit.

I wonder where they buried it...

check out the you tube video here (sorry, it will not allow to embed in the post).*

*Tell me that is not a catchy tune.

**How funny are some of those comments on You Tube?

Things I Learned Today That May Have Changed My Life

~I don't trust people that whistle.

~Being pushed in a big office chair throughout the office by a secretary while yelling "WHEEE" is very professional.

*that is not me or my secretary

~I need a tall office chair with cushioning because I throw my head back a lot for no apparent reason. Or perhaps I can make do like this:

*this is also not me, but a good illustration

~I need a taller office chair because I am short as hell.

~You shouldn't try to take a coworker's personal office chair just because they are on maternity leave. Someone will catch you.

~You can make friends with random attorneys that you only see once in a while in court. Of course your friendly conversations will consist of "didn't I see you in court LAST time" and "we must remember each other because we are women."

~It is hard to impress former colleagues with your brilliant legal arguments when the judge only allows you to state your name.

~Women call strip clubs "titty bars."

~They will do this in a deposition.

~A court reporter when shocked will type it as "tit-e"

~Attorneys will admit to knowing the exact location of said bars.

~This will also occur in a deposition.

~Some people carry their valuables in their bras.

~Those people will whip it out to show you. (The valuables, that is, not THE valuables, so to speak).

~This will also occur in a deposition.

~I need to take more depositions.

Feels Like Fall So Let's Think Spring

With the weather quickly approaching fall in these parts (high 60's? I love you), I wanted to look back at bright flower pictures and realized there are still so many I haven't shared with you, so for your Sunday viewing pleasure:

These must have lasted the longest because I have the most pictures of them:

The roses are almost gone now, but here they are just beginning:

A baby bud:

Flowers peeking out from our neighbor's fence. And that cup? That is the one I kept asking B about here.

Even though I love fall, I will miss all of the color spring and summer provided us. Unless B has something up his sleeve for fall?

Stay tuned.*

*P.S. I still have many left over. That gets you through June. JUNE! It is August. I suck.

Seriously Behind in the Garden Photos...

So let's remedy that, shall we? Here, for your viewing pleasure are more garden photos showing various flowers and plants that have bloomed over the past couple of months. Enjoy, so I can catch you all up to the current state of the garden and the yard:

*For those of you that might not know, we just moved into this house in January so all of the flowers that you see here and on other posts were planted by former owners and are a complete surprise to us as they bloom. We consider ourselves lucky that (a) we don't have to plant anything unless we really want to, and (b) they did a pretty good job in the variety of plants so that when one stops blooming another starts.

A PB and What?

Anyone that follows me on Twitter knows that I love me some Potbelly's. And for those that do not follow me, what are you waiting for?

Anyway, I haven't been to Potbelly's much since the gallbladder removal and since I moved to a new office, but when I was going there I found a new/old sandwich to fall in love with - the PB&J. Yummy goodness. Yes it is merely peanut butter and grape jelly on a big sandwich roll, but it is toasted and oozes goodness. Makes me feel like a kid again.

So, one day, while I was sitting there eating my extremely awesome but utterly messy sandwich I find this guy staring at me. He was one half of a couple sitting nearby. After looking right at me and right at my sandwich, he turns to his other half and says:

"What is a PB&J? Is that just peanut butter and jelly? I wanted to try that but I chickened out."

First, what else would a PB&J be? Second, he was LOOKING RIGHT AT ONE so he knows damn well it is just peanut butter and jelly.

He's right though. It must be really scary to try a sandwich that shares the same name as a sandwich you grew up with and should be familiar to you as opposed to, I don't know, something called a "Wreck" full of any number of processed meats and cheeses.

Baby steps, dude. Baby steps.