My Vacation Left Me Flushed but Not Full*

We are back from Vegas none the richer. In fact, we may be poorer. However, a good time was had by all.

I am sad to say that despite both of us taking our cameras, no pictures were taken in front of the fountain, or anywhere else for that matter. It was one of those vacations.

Okay, I lied. I had to take a picture of my big "win."

A Royal Flush baby --

Do you know how hard those are to get? REALLY hard. This was on my last night there. Actually, I may have been asleep at the machine when this occurred. I remember thinking "everyone should get one royal flush before they leave Vegas." Apparently I am clairvoyant and should really start working that skill to my advantage more often.

You know what would be really impressive? If I were playing the $1 slots at the time. Or even $.25 slots. Hell, even nickel slots. Where was I?

Oh on the penny slots of course. Hey! $10 is $10. Especially after you had just blown through roughly $345. But who's counting?

I was SO excited when this occurred that I wanted to tell B RIGHT THEN. Alas, I could not. Despite the fact that he was only about 20 feet away from me in the poker room, where I hear they play poker with REAL CARDS and not just a touchscreen like on my beloved machines, I had no way of contacting him because he did not have his phone on him. Remember the oh so organized man? Yep, he didn't bring his phone with him. Forgot it at the house. Remembered when we were too close to the airport to turn back. This required old fashioned scheduling while in Vegas that went a little something like this:

B: Where are you going to be?

Me: On some slots.

B: Which ones?

Me: Poker ones. Penny ones. Somewhere.

Me: I don't know. I DON'T HAVE A PLAN. IT IS VACATION!!!

B: Okay.

B: How about we meet in the room at 1:00?

Me: Oh, did you manage to remember to bring your watch?

B: Not funny.

Me: Oh, but it is.

So, in any event, no phone call about the Royal Flush.

However, after B lost all of his money, he joined me at my machine. The same Royal Flush machine. I excitedly told him how it happened. He longingly looked like he wished he had his own Royal Flush. After a while, I said to him "I wish I could get another one just so you could see." He thought it was because I didn't think he believed me. I just wanted him to experience the joy. Shortly thereafter, he did.

The cards lined up again. I was being WILD and playing 25 hands. The main cards revealed an ace, jack, 10, and king. I just needed the queen and had 25 chances. B said "you are bound to get ONE." I put my hand on his thigh, held my breath and got TWO:

And then I cashed out, $20.00 richer. Well, at least $20.00 less poor.

Now, THAT is a vacation.

*I have NO idea what that title means.

Pennies from Heaven

If you have read all of my posts on this blog, you will know that I love finding pennies on the ground (dimes and quarters are like nirvana).  If you haven't read all of my posts, what are you waiting for?  Check them out now and then come back to this story.  (psst - you can find them to the right under "past posts of brilliance").  Picking up pennies usually involves a story and this time is no different.

B and I were walking to our car following a sporting event, either baseball or football.  No, I don't know which.  They are both sports involving balls.  The stadiums are right next to each other. My involvement with both is limited to (1) noticing everything that anyone around us is doing that is strange, unusual or funny and reporting it to B (he loves this) and (2) cheering at all of the appropriate times with only a minimal clue as to what is going on (sometimes I even break out with my own version of rules and what should be going on.  B REALLY loves this).  Back to the story.

We are strolling along. Okay, that is a lie. B does not stroll. We are walking at a very high speed (which I love), when B points and says "penny."  B does not pick up pennies.  In fact, I think he finds it humorous that I do.  However, he will point out any penny he sees for me to pick up.  I like to think he is being helpful.  Really, he is trying to amuse himself I am sure.  So after hearing my battle cry "penny," I look down and lo and behold there are SIX pennies. Jackpot!  I was so excited saying "there are six of them" while picking them up (yes little things amuse me greatly).  I may have actually said "these pennies are from heaven." I wouldn't put it past me. When suddenly this voice screams "that's MINE."  Um, okay.  I look up and there is a woman sitting by the parking structure.  This woman looks like she could have been homeless or just having a bad day. Sometimes it is hard to tell. She proceeds to scream a litany that went something like this:

"That's MINE.  I lost my purse (sitting right next to her). Someone stole it. Someone stole my wallet. That's MINEEEEEEEE."

Wow.

I almost felt like a thief right then.  Once I had finished picking up the pennies, I proceeded over to her, where she was still screaming about how that was hers and leaned over to hand her the pennies as I believed they were ultimately more important to her than to me at this point.  What does she do?

Turns her head away, SCOFFS at me, and says "I don't want that."  Okay, that is hysterical.  Even the potentially homeless, potentially a bit off lady does not want pennies.  Perhaps even she thinks it is amusing that I would bother to pick up pennies from the ground.  Kind of reminds me of this guy.  Regardless, I softly said to her "sure you do" and left the pennies right by her.  When we left the parking garage in our car, the lady was gone as were the pennies.  I guess she wanted them after all.  All the way home, instead of hearing about that "ball" game and the people that were there, B got to listen to the lady that loudly proclaimed me a thief and then snubbed me when I tried to give her the pennies. B REALLY loved that.