Knock! Knock! Mo Fo Karma Wants Her Five Dollars Back

Sometimes karma doesn't come around until much later. So much later, in fact, that the person wishing for karma to come back around never really knows if it does. That was not the case for my friend last week.

My friend was on her way back to the office and stopped to get gas. She noticed a beat up old van with a walker visible in the window and a man that appeared to need assistance. He told her that he just got out of the hospital and needed gas money to get home.  Feeling in a caring mood, she offered him the $5 that was in her wallet. He graciously accepted it and thanked her profusely.  Before my friend could put her gas cap back on, he was gone. He did not get gas.

That got her goat.  

If she had a goat.

You know what I mean.

Karma was on duty and caused my friend to look across the street where she spotted the man's van pulling into the liquor store.

That got her goat.

See above.

She hopped in her car and went to the liquor store. She rushed inside and found the man, not even buying liquor, but buying a lotto ticket. Then it went a little something like this:

She:  Gas money? REALLY? Gas? Where's the GAS?

Man: What? It's only a lottery ticket.

She:  I want my $5 back! NOW!

The man rifled through his pockets. The cashier grinned and gave my friend a thumbs up. The man then said he must have left it in his car.

She: Oh good. Then I will just follow you out to your car to retrieve it.

Apparently, he did not think she would go through with it as when they got to his van, he pulled the $5 out of his pocket and meekly handed it to her. Then he got THE LECTURE:

She: You are what is wrong with people today! You are what makes people like me not want to give to people in need because they might get scammed by people like you!

Then she went to her office.  Still mad.

Without her goat.

Or is it with her goat?

I don't even know what that expression means. I do know that there is a man out there that might think twice before he pulls that scam again.

Or at least maybe buy his lotto ticket at the gas station.

 

P.S. The first part of my title is from The Bloggess. If you are not reading her blog, you should be. In fact, you should start with this post.

Knock, Knock: Housekeeping!

Just a brief message to clue you into some changes on the blog. Nothing major by any means, just a few additions.

As I told you previously, I have been writing review's for Daemon's TV.  When I first started, I would do the breakthrough posts to let you know that a new review was posted.  After a few weeks I found that a bit too disruptive.  Also, I started writing more things for Daemon's and wanted to create a special space for those things as well.  

So, pages was born.  I have created pages over <----- there to the left that I update when anything new happens. There is a page for all of my TV reviews, updated weekly with each show.  There is a page for a recent series of articles I am writing about my all time favorite TV shows. There is a page for upcoming fall shows (so excited!). Other pages will be added a needed.

So, if you watch TV as much as I do, go over to the left and see what I am up to and what I think about what I am watching. I would love to hear what you think too!

*I am sure this is not the last format change for the blog. If anyone knows of an excellent blog designer, let me know!

Sundays are for Chardonnays and Tears, Sexism and Cheers (And Yes I Know It Is Monday)

B and I decided to have a nice quiet Sunday dinner at a local bar and grille.  Some of the  patrons had other plans like the couple next to us but at the bar who were drinking it up.  Roughly about the time we ordered our food, three small boys sizes large, medium and small (but not baby size) came bouncing in and went up to the couple demanding money and attention.  The "dad" suggested they go play from wherever they came.  The "mom"* suggested they go play at someone else's house.  The oldest a/k/a large size kid decided they were going to "go outside."  Mind you, outside was the street, but off they went.

Me: Run along kiddies, mommy and daddy need to get their drink on.

B: No kidding.

After my deceivingly super spicy sausage pasta came, I noticed while sucking down iced tea that one half of the couple was crying.**  Crying. In a bar. While drinking.  Biggest cliche ever.

Me: So if we are ever out in the future and I start crying into my Chardonnay, please just take me home.

B: I can only imagine how weepy you will be when you hit menopause.

Me: Ha! Weepy my ass! I am going to be BITCHY!

Me: Remember, you promised to love me.

Me: Sucka!

Do you know that women cried THREE more times? Do you know we were only there 20 minutes longer.  I kept saying things like "this is ridiculous!" and "COME ON!".  She may have heard me. Maybe I made her cry the second time?

We had to leave when I heard the other half of the couple say:

"You have all of that money and you are just sitting here in a bar crying."

EXACTLY dude! She is crying in a BAR! 

Wait! 

What was this about all of this money?

"No one with all of that money should be crying. Hell, if I had all of that money, I would sock half of it away."

Rich and crying publicly in a bar? Too much.  As I disgustedly stalked out of there, I heard her mumble something about "all the therapy I will need" and about her son not being a good baseball player. You mean the one in the street? Hell, he may not even be alive.

My Sunday was rejuvenated later that night with all of the excellent Sunday night programming!  As B said, there just isn't enough time to watch it all - True Blood, Hung, and Mad Men!

Now I know none of you are watching Hung, but what about Mad Men? Some of you must be watching. Well, exciting news peeps! I am now reviewing Mad Men for Daemon's TV too!  So read my review here.  And the review of this week's episode of Hung here.  I plan on making a page up at the top strictly for my reviews hopefully this week.  Stay tuned.

And, please, for the love of all things holy, try to keep your crying private especially when in public.

Three cheers for private tears!

*I am not convinced these two were married and I only heard the kids call the guy dad.


**I will give you one guess as to which one of the couple was crying,

New Review of This Week's Episode of Pretty Little Liars

Check out my new review here.  And if you are watching this show, leave a comment here or at Daemon's.  Too many shocking things happened last night that I must discuss!

Exciting Holiday News That Has Nothing to Do With the Holiday But Everything to Do About Me

Remember all of the special breakthrough posts the last couple of weeks where I would direct you to Daemon's TV for a special guest blog I wrote about a particular TV show? Well, that was actually a trial period where Daemon's decided if they liked my writing style and I decided if I liked writing the reviews. The trial period is up.

I am in!

I am now an official member of Daemon's TV. My bio is up here. I will continue reviewing Pretty Little Liars (on ABC Family on Tuesdays at 8pm), Hung (on HBO on Sundays at 10:00), and will also pick up Mad Men on AMC when the new season starts this month and a new show called Melissa & Joey (starring Melissa Joan Hart and Joey "WHOA" Lawrence) when it premieres next month.

I am very excited about this opportunity and cannot thank Daemon's TV enough. Also, thank you to all that read my reviews and gave me feedback. Please keep reading. And if there is an awesome show that you have been watching, I urge you to read the reviews on Daemon's and comment. They also have great contests.

Posting will still continue here in the regularly scheduled random way it always has about the totally insane things that float through my brain or that cross my path.

In other words, business as usual here folks.

Happy Fourth!

Special Breakthrough Post: Check Out My Review of This Week's Episode of Pretty Little Liars

I have another guest review up at Daemon's TV for this week's episode of Pretty Little Liars. I am really loving this show! It is on at 8:00 p.m. on ABC Family and this was only the third episode of the entire show, so you still have time to watch it and catch up. Join me, won't you? I promise you will like it.

Read my review here.

Now back to our regularly scheduled posting...

Special Breakthrough Post: Check Out My New Guest Post at Daemon's TV

Hey guys!

I have another guest post up at Daemon's TV this week. This time I reviewed the season premiere of HBO's show Hung. If you haven't watched it, you should give it a try. It has a bit of humor, a bit of drama, and a lot of sex. It also features Anne Heche who is always entertaining.

Anyhow, read my review here.

Now back to our regularly scheduled posting...

Special Breakthrough Post: Check Out My Guest Review of Pretty Little Liars

Hey everyone! I wrote a guest review for Daemon's TV. The review is of yesterday's episode (#3) of Pretty Little Liars on ABC Family TV. If you have been watching the show or just want to read my review, please head on over.

While you are there, check out the other reviews and articles (and contests!).

Now back to our regularly scheduled posting...

If You Ask, You Shall Receive. Unless You Ask for Something I Don't Have, Don't Want to Give or is Very Expensive...

Jamie requested more puppy pictures. I was happy to oblige although at the rate Jersey is going, I am not sure how much longer we can call her a puppy.

One of Jersey's favorite things to do is play with Brad. And by play with Brad, I mean practically eat his entire head in one large bite. The thing is, Brad does not seem to mind and in fact engages her and bites her right back.

Here we have Jersey pinning Brad down:

And then Jersey goes in for the ear:

Brad responds by biting Jersey's cheek:

And so it continues until Brad breaks free or we separate them:

No one ever seems to get hurt.

In other news, Jersey still thinks she is a tiny puppy that can fit into the cat bed:

Busted!

Remember when Chester thought he could fit in there too? Well, hell, I am not sure I even took a picture of that. It did happen though! It must be a fat animal in a little bed syndrome.

Great. Now I have THAT song stuck in my head!*

*I am referencing the Fat Guy in a Little Coat song from that Chris Farley movie.

**I just realized there was an asterisk in yesterday's post but no explanation. It is a mystery, folks. Or one of those fill in the blanks books. YOU get to decide what the heck I was talking about.

The More Things Change, the More They Stay the Same While Changing

Remember when I said I was thinking up new and exciting things for the blog? Well, I really wasn't referencing this blog. I decided to start a second blog. You know, because I have so much free time on my hands and all. The focus of my other blog is cooking. Or lack thereof. Long time readers know that I have had a few adventures in cooking, one that ended up with an ER trip. Hopefully that won't be repeated on the new blog. I am excited to start a cooking journey. So, please, check out the new pad. The link is on the top left under the aptly named "My Other Blog" section. And if you have tips, recipes, thoughts, ideas, please share.

As for here? Well I decided to change the layout and even made my own header. And by making my own header, I mean I found a header and added those words. Of course that only took me about 3 hours since I had to find a free paint program for Mac, then learn said program, and then finish it. Yes, all you website designers can rest easy. Your jobs are safe. Same for HTML people. Wait. Isn't that the same thing? What do I know? I am no doctor.

I am also going to try to post more often on this blog. I had grand plans to get some posts done in advance. Then I got sick. You know what sucks? Getting sick. You know what is worse? Getting sick while out of the office for the holidays. There should be a law against that. But the ultimate in worseness? STILL being sick when you have to go back to work on Monday. Damn you little germs and viruses.

That's it for now. Stay tuned tomorrow to meet Vicky.

And here's pictures of a really awesome sunset we had recently. Well, in November, but whatever. The pictures don't do it justice.

Slipping, Sliding and Spinning Our Way Into Christmas

Christmas has come and gone. It seems like it went by so fast after all of the planning. A lot of fun was had. For a short recap of Christmas Eve and a picture of B with a German candle thing, go here.

Christmas morning looked like this:

On the table are the gifts we had for each other and, in some cases, from the cats. Yes Brad loved me enough to get me the complete Sex and The City DVD Series and Chester and Mooch knew how much I wanted the first season of True Blood. Man, I love those cats!

You will also notice that Santa brought B his very own stocking. And it was even filled with stuff:

This pictures shows all of the gifts that we had to load into the truck to take to both our parents' house. And that is Brad making a special guest appearance:

Brad also wanted to participate in the gift opening, mainly by chewing on the paper. I wish I had a video camera for that:

B was very surprised and happy with my gift to him of a widescreen computer monitor. Maybe I should have stuck to his list and given him a big box of socks and underwear.*

At B's sister's house, we heard the story of the famous Zhu Zhu pets and how there are all of these warnings not to put them in your hair because it will get all tangled. B wanted to see what the allure was:

Over at my parents' house, they finally got to meet Jersey. My brother loved her:

And she loved him right back:

All of the gifts at my parents' house were set underneath the reindeer. The deer, as you can see, was taken from a carousel. How cool is that?

My Dad decorated the mantle with garland, lights and a nativity scene:

I love the glowy picture!

Other things that made Christmas eventful:

• On the way to our first stop, I was driving as B was holding Jersey, when the car next to us started hydroplaning because of the rain, spun around right in front of us across three lanes of traffic, hit the guardrail, went UP the guardrail, and luckily did not flip over. We pulled over and waited with them until EMS and their parents arrived. Luckily they were not hurt, but quite shocked and shaken. I was petrified because we came awfully close to hitting them. Thank God I didn't hit my brakes.
• We got my nephew a tricycle for Christmas and as soon as he opened he, he yelled "BIKE" and tried to ride it around. He toppled over twice.
• My nephew also flew off a sit and spin. Those things are dangerous!
• My nephew also got toppled by Jersey which he thought was fun until she tried to nip at him. Now he is not a fan.
• My nephew demonstrated his ability to slide down feet first and head first into his ball pit.
• Jersey was on her best behavior at my parents' house. Of course, that is because she spent the entire time in the kitchen waiting to be fed.
• I got lots of great presents, including Vicky.**
• We had a wonderful day with both of our families and our little ones.

Hope your Christmas was just as wonderful!

*He seriously put socks and underwear on his Christmas list. He also seriously thought the box was filled with socks and underwear. I had to stop him from throwing it around. A shattered monitor makes for a sad Dani.

**More on this wonderful lady later.

Why Yes, I Am a Beautiful Mermaid and I Will Accept Your Award...

J from She's Country recently bestowed the Mermaid Splash Award upon me:

The rules are as follows:

1. Put the logo on your blog/post.

2. Nominate up to 9 blogs which allure, amuse, bewitch, impress or inspire you.

3. Be sure to link to your nominees within your post.

4. Let them know that they have been splashed by commenting on their blog.*

5. Remember to link to the person from whom your received your Splash award.

6. Have F~U~N

So, without further adieu, my nominees are as follows:

1. Molly from These Little Moments - her posts always amuse me, like this one about leggings.
2. saratogajean from Bad Mutha Fudruckers - her posts amuse, allure, bewitch and impress me. And her paint drawing skills for the blog? Incredible. Check out this hilarious post.
3. phishez of Sanity Optional. She doesn't post frequently, but when she does, it is always worth it.
4. Jennifer from Our Family Blog - because she is my SIL, funny as hell, and she blogs about my nephew. How could you resist a toddler that likes National Lampoon's Christmas?
5. Tammy from mandatorybloghere - what's not to love? She drunk decorates cookies and shoots houses around her neighborhood (my favorite feature!).
6. Dolce from La Dolce Vita - this girl cracked me up before she got pregnant. I was relieved to find nothing has changed since the baby - with a post entitled Don't Touch the Boob Bag, I think you would agree.
7. rachel of Confessions of a Jersey Girl - I have been reading rachel's blog for quite some time and have watched her go through ups and downs and so many events which is exactly why I am nominating her. Her life story is compelling and growing and you are able to watch it all unfold, no holds barred.
8. patricia of bloom where you're planted - I originally found patricia through her previous blog, Wags to Riches, and we became Twitter buddies. When she started a new blog, I made sure to follow. Her blog is full of pictures, random facts about her, stories and her new house! Also? How could I not love a woman whose favorite word is "albeit" because it is "four words in one"?
9. Catherinette at Bridget Jones Has Nothing On Me - I know if I ever need an immediate laugh or puke, I should head to her blog. She has the best TMI stories, a Just the Tip Tuesday feature that you should check out, and is generally awesome.

Do these gals a favor and check them out. You won't regret it!

*I pretty much broke this rule. I am just too lazy. You don't even want to know how long it took me to put together this post. It is embarrassing.

The Little B That Could, and Will, and Does...

When I first told you about our new cat Bradford a/k/a Lil' B* back in September, the real B told me that I took crappy pictures. He is right. That little kitten was a bundle of energy and it was hard to capture anything but a blur. However, in the week or two after, I managed to get some good ones. I can hardly believe that was two months ago. My how Brad has grown. These are all pre-growth spurt:

This is when Brad was still living on the back porch in quarantine because of his runny face and lack of shots as he was too young:

A curious kitty:

Naturally, we would do a side-by-side comparison of Brad with the fattest cat. We are mean like that. Although, we did not force Mooch to go through the same thing as Mooch would not come near Brad:

And for length comparison:

Eventually Brad made his way inside and has not left, with the exception of trips to the vet. He prefers the inside now and is still a curious cat. He likes to watch B on the computer:

Looks like they were doing important stuff right there. Brad also found his own mini TV to watch the fish:

He is like a child sitting up so close to the "TV" like that.**

Brad also found his own unique way to drink from the cats' drinking fountain:

He still drinks like that. Drives me crazy. It also makes the water dirty, but I guess the cats don't mind.

This picture is to show you Brad, but to also show you our old oven, the Ropermatic. I say old because we got a new one. I will post about it this week. It was going to be today, but someone forgot to charge her camera:

Look at that face. He looks like a little lion or tiger or other fierce animal:

That's our Lil' B. Now he has been in the house for two months and he is kicking ass and taking names. Those names are Chester and Mooch. For the most part, Brad rules the roost. It is hilarious.

At first we couldn't imagine another cat. Now we could not imagine Brad not being here stirring up trouble and purring in our laps. The perfect little cat family.

We must be nuts.

*I also call him B, Baby B, and Purrball.

**You have to check out this post about my nephew watching football. Too hilarious.

Only in Starbucks...Only in Vegas

Recently, one of my blogger friends and frequent commenters, walkingonsunshine, authored a post about the various people one can see in a Starbucks at any given time. Her post seemed very timely to me as I had just been to a few Starbucks and thought the very same thing. There are such a wide range of people in there. Although I am usually in and out, I am tempted to spend part of this weekend just sitting and watching. Last time when passing through, I saw the following people:

- an older couple each reading a different section of the newspaper

- a group of bicyclists complete with safety hats

- a young couple and their baby and the husband's computer

-an older hippy guy saying "One could argue that George Harrison is the greatest..."

-a law student studying at the same back table that I see her at every time. This time someone had interrupted her though.

-a middle aged gentleman reading Twilight

-young girls discussing why they were nauseous - hangover, lack of food, pregnancy

I have also learned that there is drama in every Starbucks around. However, only in Vegas would it involve two people speaking in different languages and one calling the other a liar:

As I am waiting in line for my new favorite drink*, the older couple in front of me takes their tall lattes** and head toward the couch. Right before that, I noticed a newspaper spread across the table. I seem to recall a smallish woman sitting on the chair next to the couch reading it. I only recall this because I remember thinking that I wanted to sit on the couch because it looked so comfy. The older couple takes it naturally. At that point the smallish woman returns and starts throwing out the paper

Man: HEY! You can't do that. I was going to read that.

Woman: Eet eez MINE.

Man: It is not yours.

Man: LIAR

Woman: Ce journal est le mien, vous l'imbécile! Les touristes américains stupides qui ne peuvent pas se permettre leurs propres journaux parce qu'ils gaspillent tout leur jeu d'argent d'argent!***

Man: {grumbles to wife}

Man: How rude can you be to throw out a perfectly good paper? LIAR

The French woman than proceeded to leave muttering in french the entire time. As she passed in front of me (I was facing the casino at a counter) she glared at me and said "Pshaw!" I don't think that is French. In fact, I don't even think that is a word. Isn't that just a sound? Did she just dismiss ME with a sound?

I love Starbucks. I love Vegas.

*Chai Tea Latte - YUM. I find a new drink every season or so.

**I am only this observational in Starbucks. That's a fact.

***I had to use a English to French translator to come up with that translation even though I had four years of French in high school. That is sad. My French teacher is turning in her grave which is interesting because (a) I am not sure she is dead, and (b) that was the example she gave us for accents "Accent grave goes to the left because you have to turn left at the grave." She even drew a cemetery on the chalkboard. Some things you never forget. You win French teacher! You win.

Hay! Can You Stalk My Pumpkins?

Sure, B thought his giant pumpkins were great. However, B had bigger plans for our yard. His plans involved going to the cider mill* and then finding some hay and some corn stalks. After all, what is a giant pumpkin patch in your yard without hay and corn stalks?

So we set off on our journey and went to the cider mill with B's sister and husband and our nephew, L. Turns out L likes pumpkins just as much as B. And since he is still small, they all look giant to him. Bet he ends up growing big pumpkins in his future.

After eating too many donuts and drinking cider and feeling pumpkins, B and I set off to find the perfect hay and cornstalks. Rather, the only hay and cornstalks. We only found two places - one that sold hay and one that sold cornstalks. That was good enough for B's master design. Take a gander:

B says the key to designing is to always work in 3s. Hence the 3 pumpkins on our stairs.

And the two pumpkins and one hay bale in the corner.

And the 1 pumpkin, 1 hay bale and 1 cornstalk by the tree.

B also bought this nifty fall corn bundle to hang on our door.

And little pumpkins for my desk! We only bought one but the guy selling them threw in 2 for free. He must subscribe to the B plan of 3s.

I was so excited about our fall display, but do you know that not ONE neighbor has commented on it? WTF? All summer I had to sit and listen to people talk about the house next door:

"oh, nice flowers"

"I love your shrubs"

"how did you cut your lawn with those lines"

"you built that garage from scratch?"

Yet, no one can be bothered to comment on our pumpkins aside from some girls that B may have scared off? It is not like people don't walk down our street EVERY DAY. Or drive down it. Yes, people would STOP THEIR CAR to say those things to our neighbor.

Okay, it is not a competition.

And I am not bitter.

But it is and I am.

*Somebody forgot to charge her camera before going to the cider mill. Sadly, that leaves you without a picture of me looking like a scarecrow while holding three corn stalks.

**I know you like what I did with that title there, I incorporated 3 of the major themes of these photos. B would be so proud.