I'm on Vacation Bitches!

I so wanted to scream that out when I left the office on Friday evening. Of course, since it was Friday evening (7 pm to be exact), there was no one else there. Kind of loses the whole effect, don't you think?

Regardless, it is true. We are leaving for vacation tomorrow and headed to Sin City. It is our go-to vacation. When B and I started dating we got into a routine as to vacations due to our work schedules. The routine involved a vacation in October/November and then another in February or March. If my memory serves me correctly, the first one was to Vegas. I wasn't so sure about that as a destination, but B talked me into it. Little did I know that inside me lives a secret slot jockey. B could barely tear me away.

So, naturally, when we decided against a big wedding and when we started thinking about destination weddings, it was Vegas. And so we got married there 2 1/2 years ago.

A picture of us in front of the Bellagio fountains:

You wouldn't know it from that picture, but we were crowded by about a million people. The only way we were able to get up to the banister was to promise two ladies we would take our picture and hustle out of there. In exchange, they decided to become the "wedding dress protectors" and screamed at everyone to STAY AWAY FROM HER DRESS. They showed so much enthusiasm that I didn't bother to tell them the bottom was completely trashed anyway. As a matter of fact, I still think there is a bug stuck to it. Well, at least its skeletal remains that is.

How about a GQ pose of us:

That was about the 150th picture my brother took. He was trying to get one with the fountains going off just right. Why? Because naturally we got engaged in front of those very fountains the November prior:

The above is what happens when you let complete strangers take your picture. I swear I did not add any effects. At least half of B's face is preserved for history.

So off we go back to our city, not as an engaged couple, not as a married couple, and not on a family trip.* Just the two of us - B the poker stud and, I, the slot jockey.

Miss me bitches!** I will miss you.

*That family trip was pretty awesome. Read all about it here.

**Or bastards if you prefer. For you non-swearers, it will be bunnies.***

***That is an inside joke I have with...myself. Yep, I need a vacation.

****My profile picture is also from my wedding. I am laughing in it because right before I had to leave the dressing room my phone went off telling me I had an appointment - to get married. I apparently set it while in Vegas in November when we picked the date and forgot about it.

*****Some posts will be posted throughout the week, all written in advance and probably completely random. They will not, however, have 5 sets of asterisks.

They are Macon Progress

This weekend my Mom and I went to breakfast at a new place in a different part of town since we had an errand to run out there. The food was good, the toast was huge and the waitress was nuts. Really. Immediately after we gave her our breakfast order she said "We have a lot of good lunch specials. Take a look." and left. Hell, we hadn't even had breakfast yet. The lunch specials didn't begin until 11:30. It was 9. Apparently, she thought we were the type of people that go into a restaurant for breakfast and never leave. Okay, maybe that has happened before. Whatever.

In any event, I learned that word on the street* is that the under-construction-breakfast place is open again. My Mom and brother went to visit and reported that the menu is mostly fixed. Mostly. My brother said that he found "chicken brest." See? I think that is even worse. You go to great lengths to fix your jacked up menu and it STILL has a spelling error. Classy.

Also? The formerly greek-like-breakfast-place-turned-coney-island-breakfast-place has branched out to embrace all sorts of ethnic food. For example, they have a fine Mexican selection:

Taco Salad

Quesadillas

Tacos

Almond Boneless Chicken

Wait. What? Yes. They had almond boneless chicken listed under Mexican food.

I wonder if it was made with chicken brest?

*By street, I mean my brother. He has been stalking the place, waiting for it to open.

Piss and Pine? Sounds Like a Candy...

After having just eaten at our new favorite Thai place in the 'hood, which is almost identical to the old Thai place in the last 'hood (what luck!), B and I walked to the car. B remarked at how incredibly yummy his candy was from the restaurant. I asked what it was and he said "something with Asian writing on the wrapper." Sounds logical.

As we got in the car, I noted that something smelled, well, WRONG.

Me: It smells weird in here.

B: What do you mean?

Me: It smells strange. Like someone pissed in here. Or like a tree or something.

B: Like a tree?

Me: Yes, a sappy tree. Tree sap.

B: You mean a pine?

Me: I don't know what kind of tree saps.

B: Pine trees have sap.

Me: Now that you mention it, it smells like pine in here. Pine and piss.

B: Do you think it is my candy?

It was his candy. How he ever thought something that SMELLED like pine and piss tasted great is beyond me.

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas...

Behold...the unveiling of our 2008 Christmas tree:

This year I decorated it all by myself. I am such a big girl.  Usually B and I do it together. The routine is (we are all about routine have you noticed?) that B goes and buys the tree, puts it in the stand, puts the lights on it and the tree topper on and then, together, we put up the ornaments.  This may or may not include my wearing a Santa hat and B taking pictures.  We desperately need a dog to dress up.  In the 4 or 5 years we have been doing this (I obviously have stopped counting), we have only used B's ornaments.  This is mainly because mine are all stored in many boxes at my parents' house and I either (a) forget that they are there, or (b) am too lazy to go get them. This year I wondered why I never put MY ornaments on the tree. B said "go get 'em."  Yep, just his ornaments are on the tree again.  Oh well, maybe next year I will add mine.

Before the tree's arrival, I had discussed with my Mom whether we were actually going to get one.  You see, this year, we are celebrating Christmas by going to Vegas on Christmas day with B's family.  Since we will be gone and it is now only a few weeks before Christmas, I wasn't sure if we would get a tree although B assured me that we would. And we did. I came home from the office on Saturday* to find a real live tree with lights and a topper.  Alas, B had to work that night so I decorated it alone.  However, those of you that follow me on Twitter will remember that I discovered at least one ornament had been hung on the tree before B's departure. Behold:

If you cannot see this because the picture is sorely out of focus, that would be the Millennium Falcon...

B is a dork. We are two peas in a pod. Now remember a couple of paragraphs ago when I said that all of the ornaments belonged to B? That is not exactly true. We do have a few that we purchased as a couple:





This is the tree of cards purchased in Las Vegas circa some year.**

And this is a scary looking witch purchased in Italy on our honeymoon. There is some meaning behind this witch that has to do with bringing kids presents and good luck or something, but I cannot remember.  Man, I have a horrible memory.

And the final two, the Vegas sign we got our first year together in Vegas and a hand blown glass ornament obtained last Christmas.

 

There you have it folks, our tree. And, if you are counting like I am apparently:

Together ornaments: 5
Dani ornaments: 0
B ornaments: 1,000,000
Our Christmas tree: beautiful.

*Sometimes I am in the office on Saturday. Sometimes I am  not so happy.

**I cannot keep all of the wonderful years B and I have been together straight. They just blend into one beautiful rainbow.