These Are the Times to Remember...

Every year, on the first day of the year, I think "this is going to be a GREAT year." That is a true statement. In fact, it is actually a documented statement.  I used to journal. Not in an every day of my life like the long grass man, but I wanted to. Every year I would start off with a brand new journal and inevitably the first page would say "this is going to be a GREAT year."  After that, there are only a few pages, or even none, with writing on them.  

Seriously. Worst journaling ever.

However, the sentiment remains. Even if I don't write it on paper, I think it. And I thought it today. 

This is going to be a GREAT year.  

How do I know?  Well let's look at the greatness of 2011 -

We found Nevada.  Or maybe she found us.  I am not sure who is luckier.

The closet happened.  Then the closet got better.

We saved a dog named Gus and got him a new home (close by too so we can visit!)

We went to Amsterdam. And Paris. And London. Unfortunately, I am behind in photos and only showed you Amsterdam. Maybe in 2012.

And that is just a taste of what the year held for us.  I, for one, cannot wait to see what this year brings.*

Happy New Year - from our house to yours,


 



*Please don't let it be another dog. We are kind of full with the five furballs right now.

All Through the House...Not a Creature Was Stirring...

It has been a while, so I have been informed. My time flies when you are too busy to talk about what you are doing. Now it is Christmas and almost the New Year. Maybe I will catch you up through pictures. Let's start today:

Presents I received in a forum swap

A Christmas Story wrapping paper! How cool is that?

Great gifts from the swap!!

And then there was peace.

We had a great Christmas, spending the moring with my in-laws and nephew (and the dogs) and the afternoon with my parents and the dogs. I am not sure when these girls will ever recover.  Christmas hangover indeed.

Merry Christmas,
Peace and Love,


 

You Want More Amsterdam? I've Got More Amsterdam!

Some rude commenter who may or may not be related to me and such relation may or may not be through choice rather than blood, requested more European vacation pictures.  A nicer commenter (Hi Cindy!) also wanted more Europe pictures.  So I sorted through some of the thousands (I am serious. Thousands.) of pictures to bring you highlights of Amsterdam. Part 1. Or is it Part 2? 

I told you there were a lot of bikes. Look at all of those bikes. It even made me want to ride bike.  Until I saw how fast the cars zip by them and how the bikers have to make sharp turns.  Scary bike riding for sure.

I want to live in these expensive houses by the canal.  They are millions of dollars or something ridiculous.

I wanted to eat at this castle like place. I had no idea what they served. I still don't.

I just love the feel and symmetry of this street.  And the colors.

I love these buildings.

I love the trees lining the street. And more bikes.

And what does the Red Light District look like in the daytime?  Pretty much like this:

Like all of the other streets but with women in windows...

...and all of those people, mostly tourists, making their way in and out of the district...

...and the Live Sex Show signs...

...and the window full of weird pornographic knickknacks and, um, toys...

...and the Triple X rated sewer drain...

Ah, Amsterdam. I love thee.

You know who really loves Amsterdam? B. He wants to move there. Like tomorrow.  But we have a house (well two...grr), and five animals, and jobs.  You know, the little things.  Also? We don't speak Dutch.  Details.

However, should we win the lotto, I think we will be moving to Amsterdam, with Paris as a second home if I have any input.

You know how they say there is nothing like Paris in springtime? "They" are correct.

More on that later.

So You Will Never Guess Where I Have Been. No Really, You Won't.

Yes, I have been gone a while.  The last you heard, we rescued a new pup, Nevada, because we are insane.  You know what makes it even more insane? We were leaving the very next week for a 10 day European vacation.  Seriously.  Oh and I was sick. Twice.  Grrr.

Luckily for us, Nevada is an easygoing and adaptable dog.  Jersey went, as planned, to her favorite fun place, doggie daycare, where they also board.  Cool thing? They are not crated, but always free and someone spends the night there and the boarding dogs gets to sleep in bed with them. I wonder if Jersey tries to get under their covers too.  Anyhow, Nevada was underweight, without all of her shots, and without enough time to see her disposition with large groups of dogs. My brother was kind enough to house sit for us including watching Nevada and feeding the three cats.  Bonus - he even trained Nevada on certain things. If he could have crate trained her, I would have wept with joy, but I will take what I can get.

I will be back to talk about the vacation as I have many, many photos to download and then decide what to upload.  Nobody needs to look at 400 of my photos (or the 1300 B took). Yes, we have issues. Maybe we should be a traveling photography team. Sounds so exciting!

For now, satisfy yourselves with more pictures of Nevada and Jersey in the first couple of days.  After 10 days apart, they are readjusting to each other a bit, but I am sure (read: I hope) things settle down again soon.

Eyeing each other

So regal looking.

So aloof

Sharing the same toy

Sharing (or fighting over) another toy.

We missed these girls when we were gone.

Cell Phones Are Evil, But People Are Good and I Am Surprised

Cell phones are evil.  I came to this conclusion yesterday when I lost mine.  You may be wondering how that is the cell phone's fault. It is not. That is not what makes it evil.  The evil lies in the fact that the mere possibility that I lost my Blackberry FROZE ME.  I repeat - I COULD NOT FUNCTION.  Let me walk you through it.

My mom and I were shopping. We were in a big grocery store and I had the phone in my pocket and then later put it in my purse.  My mom called me to tell me where she was in the store and then we left for the next big grocery store. It was at least an hour later when I went to call my mom to see where she was that I realized I didn't have a phone.  Eventually I found her and we went to the car.  No phone there.

My mom tried to call it. We couldn't hear it.  I decided we would have to go back to the first store to see if by some miracle it was there.  And then I had these thoughts:

1. I need to call B to tell him what happened. SHIT I DON'T HAVE A PHONE.
2. I don't even know my own brother's phone number.*
3. What if my client needs me?**
4. What is someone is reading and responding to my personal emails?
5. What if I find the phone and someone drove over it in the parking lot?
6. Number 5 might be the best scenario.
7. Will we really ever find this phone?
8. Why is the month of October being so DAMN MEAN to me?

While I was having these and many other thoughts and as we were driving to the store, my mom's phone rang and she looks at me excitedly and says "It's YOU!"  Turns out I left the phone in the cart (the cart I walked myself to the cart corral) and some guy found it, kept it and apparently waited for us to call.

We drove back and I called him to get my phone.  My mom told me to give him $5 to play the lottery.  That did not quite go so well:

Me: Hi! Thanks so much for holding on to my phone.

Guy: No problem.

Me: Here (holding out money) go play the lotto and win.

Guy: Nah! It's no big deal.

Me: No, really - go play the lotto and win.

Guy: No, really.

Me: GO PLAY THE LOTTO AND WIN!!

Guy: uh...have fun? 

And then he ran away.

But I had my phone, the evil phone that apparently runs my life. Vicky and Jersey take note.  And my faith in humanity has been restored.  Even if he wouldn't take my money.

This was day 16 of October.  I have not even mentioned what happened on day 15 or day 13.

It is going to be a long month.

*My husband doesn't even know MY number. Have I mentioned that?
**Why can't I stop thinking about the office even for a minute and during a crisis? Ugh.

The Art of Laboring, Rescuing and Discovering

Well, it is Labor Day. The day you celebrate all of the hard work and labor everyone does by not working.  Wait. Isn't that every holiday?  We are certainly practicing holiday living over here.  Some more so than others.  This is what I came downstairs to find:

Why, yes, that IS every single animal we own lying on B.  B seems pretty happy about it right?  Care to take a closer look?

Chester wants to help him play video games.

Jersey cannot really fit on B but she does a damn good job of taking up most of the rest of the couch!

And see that one right there? The cute little fuzz ball all curled up under B's arm?  Also known as Brad?  Yes, he ESCAPED AGAIN THE OTHER NIGHT.  Escaped. Again.  Is escape the right word when he basically walked through an open door?  Maybe not.  However, B found all three of the cats outside and managed to get them all (Chester ran right inside without any real prodding, Mooch was found under the car), except for B who made a mad leap on to a fence which he then used as his own vaulting mat to sail off into the front yard and disappear before B got there.  

Why, yes, B was not thrilled to be awakened at 3:30 a.m. that night, two hours before he awakes for work, to hear my flying down the stairs screaming "I WILL SAVE YOU BRAD!!!".  What can I say? I heard a major streetcat fight and my little B was not going to get hurt.  

Never did find the cat fight. Or a flashlight for that matter.  Brad, however, was sitting on the steps when B awoke in the morning.  Is there such a thing as a cat crate? We need a cat crate for that one.

A family reunited.

In other news, B was late coming home from work today because he found a gun in the street. Yes, a GUN just lying in the STREET.  A gun with a full clip.  We are so gangsta' around here that we use words like "clip."  So he dutifully took it to the police station who asked him why he didn't call 911.  Can you imagine that call?

B: Yes, I would like to report a gun in the street.
Police: Is anyone holding it?
B: No, it is just lying there.
Police: Is anyone dead.
B: Not that I can see.
Police: Well, just bring that shit in.

Happy Labor Day everyone! May your animals remain prisoners and may your streets remain free from guns!

UPDATE: For those inquiring minds, B would like to report he is not a dumbass. He picked up the gun with his sweatshirt and the clip with his hat. No fingerprints.

I Can't Help That I Love My Husband More Than Joggers

Remember when I told you about that jogger wearing an iPod and how stupid she was when she almost ran in front of our car because she couldn't hear it? Well you know who heard me? Karma. So I almost hit a jogger without an iPod because I didn't see him despite the fact that my eyes were open and I was looking right at him.

My Mom had come over to visit and to see all that we had done around the house. She also came over to go to this HUGE neighborhood yard sale which turned out to be a HUGE fail. It also turned out to be one of the hottest days this year. Naturally.

So I decided to drive Mom around town and show her my local haunts. Kind of like this:

"And here is where the new Kroger will be, in that hole. That should be done in about 9 more months."

"That is our favorite Thai place"

"There's Starbucks"

"There's my bank...and there's MY HUSBAND."

"HI B!!!"

It was right about then that I started honking the horn and waving frantically as if I had never seen B before in my life. While that is happening, I am also turning into the parking lot to get to Starbucks. That is right about the time I look in my rear view mirror and see a jogger grimacing at me as he unwraps his body around the backside of my car.

And they say texting kills people. Apparently it is waving. Waving kills people. Write that down.

B drives over and I ask him if he saw that I almost hit that jogger. Yes, he did. Apparently he thought I was beeping at the jogger. Great. Poor jogger probably thought that too. Although, that does seem to imply that I actually SAW the jogger.

I will take that as a win.

Pay It Forward 2: Giving Cupcakes is Fun and Again, No One Dies

In keeping with my recent Starbucks Pay It Forward Experience, I once again tried to do good and share with others. Again, this was also a result of fate. You see, there is this spot at the top of the off ramp on the freeway by our house where there is always a homeless person sitting there with a sign that says "please help. homeless and hungry." Do you know how bad you can feel, especially in the summer, when you are sitting in your nice air-conditioned car waiting at the stop light and someone is hot and hungry right next to you? Well, you can feel like a jackass.

The thing is, I rarely have any food in my car. Heck, I rarely have anything to drink either. So I never have anything to offer. B has gone and given leftover holiday food and other items to the guy before but I have never had the opportunity.

Until the other day.

It was a Friday and I was driving home from work with a paper plate full of wonderfully delicious carrot cupcakes that a coworker had brought in just for me. While stopped at the light, it suddenly dawned on me that I had something to give! So I rolled down my window and held out a cupcake. The guy immediately ran over and when he saw it was a cupcake, his eyes just lit up. I told him it was my birthday (yes useless information) and that I wanted to share my cupcakes with him. He graciously wished me a happy birthday and ran back to his place to eat his cupcake with a huge grin on his face.

And I felt good.

Sure it probably didn't cure his hunger. Sure it wasn't the healthiest thing. But it was food; fun food and probably something he didn't get very often. Hell, at that point I wouldn't have cared if he was conning me* and wasn't really homeless.

Everyone deserves a cupcake.

*My Mom, upon hearing this story, cautioned me on being conned and putting myself in danger by rolling down my window for a strange guy and that I could have been killed. All very valid points, but I try to keep at least a small semblance of faith in the human race and try to exercise caution with every action. Everyone deserves a cupcake!

This Doesn't Sound Like a Very Good Horoscope

The other day, I found this horoscope in my email box. At first it sounded delightful:

You are on the brink of something fantastic, DANIELLE, so just hang in there a little bit longer. It could be that you feel like the little train engine who is slowly working her way up the mountain. Perhaps you have made compromises and sacrifices along the way in order to get where you are. Just keep going. Pretty soon you will top the crest, and the rest of the journey will be all downhill. The tremendous work you have put in will pay off generously.

Wait.

"The rest of the journey will be all downhill."

Downhill? Doesn't that sound...um, bad? Like, "oh, it's all downhill from here" [insert sad face].

I mean, really. Who wants to "top the crest" only to fall all the way down. Can't I stay on that crest for a while?

Lessons learned:

1. Hard work does NOT pay off.
2. Crests are temporary.
3. Being at the top means you are going to fall.
4. Downhill = bad
5. Horoscopes are stupid.

One Month Later, Five Pounds Heavier, and Four Legs Longer a/k/a My How Our Jersey Girl Has Grown

It seems like just yesterday that Jersey was this small, looking guilty for chewing on B's hat:

Actually, she never looks guilty. It is not her style. Now? Now she just looks BIG:

Look how long those legs are! And she gained almost 4 pounds in just the last week!

I can barely lift her in my lap and she can no longer lay there for naps:

She is just as beautiful as ever, even though B said she is not as cute as she was when she was a puppy.

Who wouldn't love THIS face?

She wants to love you too.

It was one month on Tuesday that Jersey came into our lives. We will never be the same.

Neither will the cats.

And we all love it.*

*Well maybe not Chester so much with the hissing and pawing.

**Or Mooch with the moaning and running.

***Maybe Brad until she catches him and tries to chew on him.

Most of us are loving it.

A few of us?

Two of us?

It's the Little Things that Lead to the Big Things that Lead to Everything a/k/a How the Little Things Made Our 2009

It is funny how a year goes by so quickly even though so much happens. Sometimes, when I haven't seen someone in a while, the person may ask me to catch them up and tell them what has happened over the past year. I almost always draw a blank. Maybe I will remember the big things: we got our first house, our third cat, our first dog. We had our first grown up party, our first Halloween, our first block party (which I still haven't written about). But the little things like our first fire in the fireplace? Those things are often forgotten.

So in my year in review post, I am going to concentrate on the small things. The things I would have forgotten if not for this blog. I hope you enjoy taking the walk down memory lane with me.

January

B noticed that I was wearing glasses every day - after 6 months! Meanwhile, I remembered I inadvertently lied to a woman at an eyeglass store about being married and had to use my brother as a fake husband. P.S. I am still wearing glasses every day and now B thinks I look strange without them.

I told B I planned on getting a dog that was big enough to ride away on. Instead, we got Jersey. The only thing that can ride her at this point is Brad.

My Dad foiled a robbery without meaning to or immediately realizing it. That takes talent.

February

We "met" our backyard neighbor who would later become known as the longgrassed man. For this we are grateful as he has provided endless hours of entertainment. P.S. B still doesn't have blinds in that room.

I had my girls smashed for the first time in the name of science. Or preventative medicine. Or the doctor's personal S&M fetish. You decide.

March

I made an effort to cook more often. If, by effort, one means texting her husband to pick up all of the ingredients.

The post that gets me the most search hits EVER was born. Thank you dear spammer because some of those people have actually stayed.

B had the greatest birthday ever, thanks to me. Who doesn't want a birthday present scavenger hunt?

April

B experienced a car wreck that sounded like a scene out of a movie right down to the one liners "And to think...I was just singing a song..."

We decided that we were better off not being superheros since B wanted to be evil and I wanted to be good. Probably a good thing only one of us was radioactive.

May

I was ousted as a riddler by some cheater at Potbellys. And Google rules the world.

My gallbladder was removed which would be my second ectomy in the last couple of years. No "ectomy" is not a word but you know what it means - appendectomy, gallbladderectomy. Well, really there is a different word for that last one but what do you want? I am no doctor.

June

I realized I was living in the movie Footloose when the local paper revealed someone called the cops on a dancing man. But it was raining after all.

B spent many hours making the perfect lamp for my Dad for Father's Day. Who doesn't want something you can read by and also use for grease fires? Multitasking is always a good thing.

July

My parents found an extra special surprise when pulling into their neighborhood one day. Cartoon graffiti took on a whole new meaning.

Crime Watch Wednesday was born with a post about a tragic tandem bicycle accident. Well, actually it wasn't tragic at all as the cyclists just went about their way. That is, unless you count the fact that a driver managed to not see a tandem bicycle. He obviously doesn't wear his glasses every day.

August

B grew pumpkins the size of REALLY BIG pumpkins. He later brought the pumpkins home where we used the cats as props to show their size. We will put those cats next to anything. It is the price they pay for a roof over their head and way too much food to eat apparently.

B found the perfect plant to put in our garden for me until the evil rabbit stole it. Luckily many more grew to take its place and the sun was back in my world.

September

I learned that the legal world and the zombie world are very much alike. In fact, some days I have trouble telling them apart. Also, judges watch movies. It is almost like they are human.

Special guest, Virginia, stopped by to answer some unanswered questions about past posts, including what happened to the plant the evil rabbit ate. Virginia also declared Chester the prettiest cat around. He is still wearing his tiara.

October

Our favorite breakfast place underwent renovations which resulted in unintentional hilarity. I still scrutinize that place. We still go there every week. They have great food and great waitresses and now feature spellcheck.

B decided that Mooch was probably not the best bed partner. Mooch just grinned evilly and snidely remarked "payback's a bitch."

November

I debated whether beef had a smell. I won.

My true psychic ability revealed itself. Unfortunately the only plus side was that I realized I would be able to tell 8 hours in advance when my questions about Janet Jackson would be answered. Baby steps.

December

Became hooked on the most god awful excuse for reality TV on the air. Thanks B! Also, was a psychic foreshadowing of the puppy. Who knew such trash could be connected to something so wonderful?

I spent the holiday season cursing like a sailor while my Mom serenaded me.

This was quite the year! I cannot wait to see what 2010 has in store for us.

Stay tuned...