All Through the House...Not a Creature Was Stirring...

It has been a while, so I have been informed. My time flies when you are too busy to talk about what you are doing. Now it is Christmas and almost the New Year. Maybe I will catch you up through pictures. Let's start today:

Presents I received in a forum swap

A Christmas Story wrapping paper! How cool is that?

Great gifts from the swap!!

And then there was peace.

We had a great Christmas, spending the moring with my in-laws and nephew (and the dogs) and the afternoon with my parents and the dogs. I am not sure when these girls will ever recover.  Christmas hangover indeed.

Merry Christmas,
Peace and Love,


 

Wordless Wednesday: Everyone Needs a Shoulder to Lean On

In My Dreams, I'm Still Insane

Remember last summer when I said my dreams would make a great plot to a movie? Yep, nothing much has changed on that front.  I have kept track of a few of my favorite dreams since then and, well, I will let them speak for themselves.  I will say that I did not change or embellish anything*. These are exactly as I dreamt them, although not all at once. I am not THAT crazy!

I am in an old grocery store that is now a restaurant, but yet still a grocery store. I look over and notice two very large lions lazily lying around outside the front doors.  Suddenly I realize that the lions know how to open the automatic doors and I bolt through the store with them chasing me. As I scream for help I realize that the workers are out back in the alley on a smoke break. I bust through the door yelling "the lions are chasing me." They laugh until I point at the lions. Knowing that the lions can also open doors with knobs, I run down the alley until I find a small indent in the wall and press myself into it. They never find me.

I am being chased. Again. I end up in a bowling alley. I then end up on a beach where there are tons of bugs and fire ants. Jersey is trying to bite them to keep them away from me. I am trying to shoo them with my feet so she doesn't get bit in the mouth. They bite me on my ass.  Right after the sting, I realize that I think there is a tooth in my gum. I pull it out of my mouth and sure enough there is a part of a tooth. I later tell B that I lost part of a tooth and when he asks to see, it turns out I lost three teeth, all in the front!  I vow never to chew gum again.  Especially if it is mint green.

Next, it is the day of my trial. We are holding it at a dining room table in the office.  My paralegal keeps talking so I tell her to leave. Next my secretary is there to take notes, but she keeps making calls on her cell phone so I tell her to leave.  Meanwhile, we have a break and I leave to use the bathroom and get lost in a sea of buildings and floors trying to find my way back and panicking with every step.  Finally, the judge's clerk finds me and assures me that is okay. However, once I arrive I realize I do not have my file or even one piece of paper that I need for the trial.  I tell the court. The usually mean judge comes in laughing and asks why I didn't notice when I left that morning that I wasn't carrying anything. I have no answer for her.  Then she asks why I didn't think about it when I was reviewing my file last night. I don't bother to tell her that I didnt review it all because I had planned on "winging it."

We then go back to my office to actually review my file and there are these large black flying bugs around. I start screaming and decide we need to leave before they get me.  On our way out, my boss who has inexplicably turned into my uncle assures us that it is okay, that the bugs are harmless. When I tell him that one landed on my head and was stinging me, he tells me I am wrong. The bugs simply need to poop somewhere.

I am called into my office manager's office and told that my outfit is not work appropriate and I will need a whole new wardrobe. I am wearing a skirt, heels, a blouse and a blazer. I sarcastically say "do I get a wardrobe stipend?" and am told in fact I have $1500 and don't worry because the shop will call to appropriately dress me.

I am on my way to work heading up a staircase with apparently every single person in my office building. I am also carrying a child. I run into my former boss and we exchange pleasantries although I really hate her. I then run into my current boss who is wearing a bright yellow ruffled sleevless shirt which makes me think he looks like a clown. He tells me that people think we are "too close." I am tell him that is because we are close, we live near each other. I then realize he is the actor that plays the detective on Dexter.  I still have the baby.  After folding up my bicycle, I realize I have to be somewhere that babies aren't allowed. I find my former boss in her office working on her laptop on her bed and ask her to watch the baby. She says okay halfheartedly and tosses the baby to the side. I scream "Well EXCUSE ME but you are the only one that knows how to care for a baby around here."

On my way out, I drive my car straight into a hotel pool. Luckily it was in the shallow end and I could escape.

Later, I fall in love with the actor that plays Mark Zuckerberg in the Facebook movie. My other boyfriend didn't like that I was in love with two men at once so he made me break up with him. But as actor/Mark guy crossed the street after I dumped him, I could not bear to lose him and chased him down. We then discussed plots to TV shows.

I am at a trial, but again I dont have materials. Turns out I am not trying the case, but I am a witness. Then it turns out I am the defendant. I am accused of hitting a guy with a hamburger. The defense counsel, including Don Draper of Mad Men, tells me that I should tell the jury how much I love hamburgers. I think this is a terrible defense because there was a whole shelf of things I could have hit him with so if I loved hamburgers, naturally I would choose the hamburger. My attorney said "no, you would never waste a good hamburger by throwing it at someone." Good point.

I rest my case.  But not my dreams.

Is it any wonder that I look like this on some nights?

*I started writing this in July of 2010. Upon reading it today, even I think these dreams sound fictional. However, I know they are not as I never lie to myself.**

**That I know of.

Still Just Chillin' In These Parts

Hope your holidays are as restful and peaceful as ours!

Dog Days of Trial Are Over. I Have Not Yet Recovered.

That is what a dog looks like after spending 8 hours at doggie daycare.

That is what Dani feels like after spending 8 days in trial.

We both need more of this.

If My Dreams Were a Plot to the Movie of My Life

I would do a lot of running as I would be chased a lot. Sometimes I would get caught. Mostly I would not. Usually I would get tired.

I would find myself inexplicably deserted topless in South Africa. I would find a scarf, cover myself up, find a payphone and after hitting the one and only button, continuously repeat "American Embassy" until the next scene showed me back in the US with no further explanation.

My mom and John Mayer would get in a fight at Thanksgiving dinner. He would try to show off by speaking in a different language. My mom would talk back. John Mayer would inform me that my Mom was actually speaking Turkish while he was speaking Yiddish so he could not understand her. However, he would be massively impressed with her intelligence. I would set aside my belief that he is a douche and we would all leave happy.

The dinosaurs would roam the earth again, recurrently throughout the movie. We would all run through the alleys to escape while the overhead speakers on the telephone poles would blare "The dinosaurs are coming, The dinosaurs are coming" in case we did not know.

The cats would be crying all of the time.

I would get chased by murderers and spend an inordinate amount of time running, screaming and hiding.

A man would want to change my dad's arm (played by another person of course) into a two clawed slimy thing (kind of like MaryAnn's arm when she turns in True Blood). However, my dad would be given the choice to have them do mine instead, which he would choose. This procedure would involve amputation. Since I have never had my arm amputated before, I will choose to pretend it feels like getting stitches and so it will. My "dad" will faint at the scene. I will never get to see my claw.

I would then be on a table being forced into an ultrasound even though I am not pregnant. They will get my cooperation by waterboarding me. Then another woman will jump on top of me and do CPR like movements to my stomach chanting "make a baby, make a baby". Later, I will review an ad I placed in the paper that looks like an obit except it is pink and has a unicorn on it. It will announce the "end" of the baby that never existed which will be named something like Email Text Chain and will state that although I claim there never was one, the baby is now gone.

The movie will end with me trying to drive up a freeway ramp that goes straight in the air while in a convertible. Miraculously, I will not fall out of the car.

And there will be choregraphed scenes, probably involving music.

Who wants to be my producer?

*All of the scenarios above are from actual dreams I have had. Some, like the dinosaurs, since childhood. Most of them recently. I am not on any drugs.

When You Plan on Staying Home Sick from Work, it is Probably Best to Actually Tell Your Office

It is early morning. Dani woke up to her usual routine - shower, breakfast, internet, dress and leave for the office. However, somewhere between breakfast and internet, Dani decided she wasn't going to be able to get to the leave for the office part. She thought she was getting better. She went to the office the day before, but today she needed more rest. And more Nyquil. So she emailed her secretary, took another dose and went back to bed.

And so she slept.

Meanwhile, at the office...nobody has heard from Dani. Everyone is asking her secretary where she is, but nobody has an answer. Her secretary emails her, but gets no response.

And so she sleeps.

Around 11 am, the office starts to get worried. Dani's co-worker calls and gets her voicemail. One of the partners calls and gets her voicemail. The managing partner calls and gets her voicemail.

She still sleeps with the faint sound of the phone ringing in the background. They will call back, she thinks.

Meanwhile at the office...panic has set in. "There was an accident on the freeway," someone suggests. "We should call her old employer for contact information" screams another. Someone texts her. Another calls her. THERE IS NO ANSWER they yell to each other. The whole firm has gotten involved. They have notified one employee that she has to drive to Dani's house to see if she is okay. Someone else suggests they call Dani's cell phone company to find a signal on her. A third person starts scrambling through papers to find info for B.

And so she sleeps.

And then she is startled awake at 2:00 p.m. by her husband screaming:

GET UP! YOUR OFFICE IS LEAVING ME MESSAGES. CALL THEM!

And so she awakes, stumbles to her phone to find 3 voicemails, 5 missed calls, 2 emails and a text message. She notices that there is a big red X next to the email she sent at 7:30 a.m. saying she wasn't coming in. She calls the first number she recognizes and is greeted with WE THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD. Word is spread that Dani is, in fact, alive. And sick. And sleeping.

And so she went back to sleep.*

In other news, have you lost something? Have you wondered whatever happened to that ex or long lost friend? If so, get my office on the case. They will find what you are missing in less than 5 hours - guaranteed!**

*I didn't really go back to sleep. Unless you count the times I dozed off during my marathon Dexter sessions. So I had to watch 3 of them 2 times? I was sick!

**I have to say that I am very amazed at the lengths my coworkers went to find me and to make sure I was okay. I feel very appreciated. And stalked.

Christmas in the Village

Our town has a main street. It is not called main street, but it is the main street in our town. Wow! That was redundant. In any event, around this time of the year, the town puts up lights all up and down that street and they are awfully pretty.

After driving by the lights a billion times, I finally decided that you all needed to see them, so I convinced B to drive me down there. Well, actually, I really wanted a Starbucks and pretended to want to see the lights. Okay. Fine. B really need to take back cans from our party so I pretended I wanted to see the lights, but I really wanted a Starbucks. Chai tea latte rules every time.

While we were there, we took the following pictures with the super cool "warm" mode I have found on my camera. That isn't what it is called and I don't know its true purpose, but I like it anyhow.

I am not sure if that arm above is B's or some stranger who was wondering why I was taking a picture of his arm. Some of these were taken before B joined me. Not many, though. I felt stupid. Somehow when B was there "directing" me, it seemed normal and not at all weird.

The giant tree. I think they had a special lighting of this or something. Who knows. I just live here.

Right about here is where some guy with a British accent approached us and said "I am not from here..." I expected the worst* but he just wanted to know if there was a CVS nearby.

Yes, that's B. He had an ulterior motive as well you see. He wanted TCBY. We all have our vices.

Chai tea latte = YUM!

*B had just told me the story of seeing the same guy TWICE who approached him and said he was stranded and needed money to get back home. TWICE. B said "I saw you here just two weeks ago. What have you been doing that whole time?" The guy changed tactics and tried to bond with B. They were at a gas station.

Who Needs a Proctologist When You Have a Cat?

The other night Mooch slept under the covers with B and I. In the middle of the night I got up to lock Chester out due to his crying. Apparently I startled the sleeping Mooch who jumped and stuck his paw up B's ass. In the words of B:

"Good thing I was wearing shorts, otherwise his paw might still be in there."

I think Mooch was just paying him back for this:

Lesson: Don't turn your back, or your ass, on a sleeping cat.*

*Especially if your idea of a good time is forcing said cat to take pictures in various poses that amuse you greatly but just piss the cat off.**

**See above.

Ding Dong the Drapes Are Gone!

I am sure I do not have to post an original picture of our master bedroom drapes for you regular readers to remember how atrocious they truly were. But, for those of you new to the blog, I will post one so you don't have to follow a link.

Look at these beauties that the prior owners left us:

You are loving them, I know it. With that carpet, what is not to love? Well, we hung on to them WAY too long. It was easy - they were there, they fit, they kept out the cold and the light and, more importantly, we did not know what to replace them with.

Until we visited Ikea to buy my desk. Then we found what I thought were the perfect drapes. I immediately walked over and stroked them and declared the shopping trip a victory. Soft, with the gray from the room, but also cream, black and blue. Take a look:

Quite the improvement, right? So you are thinking, well Dani those are awfully LONG. Yes, they are. They only came in one size. You know what that means? Dani has to hem them. Think about THAT for a moment. Dani does not even sew. Lucky for me the Swedish must know this and provided some handy little strips that I am supposed to iron on to hem them. As you can see, I have yet to do this. However, it will be done soon as I keep tripping on the ones by the larger window and I would hate for B to take a big spill in the early morning hours.

And just because I love how they look with the sun shining in, here are some more shots:

This is my favorite - sun and a breeze coming in. So romantic in a conservative stripey way.

Before I could stop him, B sent the old drapes to the great garbage pail in the sky. I thought we should have sent them to Goodwill. B had a different opinion "Who would want THOSE?"

Probably people that were too lazy to get anything else for four months.

You know, us.

Hey Babe, I'm Getting Stuff Done!

You all know that if I am awakened while in a deep sleep or dreaming, I say some off the wall stuff. Remember when I told B to be careful not to knock the lamp off the bed? That's what I am talking about. So the other day B came in really early to say goodbye before he left for work:

B: Bye

Me: Hey babe, I'm getting stuff done!

Me: Wait...what?

B: What are you talking about?

Me: I have no idea.

B: Okay, well you just keep "getting stuff done" then.

I didn't tell him that at the time I was dreaming that I was mowing our roof and that the lawn mower had three wheels like a tricycle with the back wheel being the big fat plastic circle kind found on children's toys.

I wish I could say it was the pain meds from the surgery, but I hadn't even taken any.

How About a Nap to Go with that Question?

When asked "What are you working on this weekend?" by your boss, is the answer "Catching up on my sleep" acceptable?

Because I seriously need some sleep.

You Know You're Really Tired When...

...you fall asleep during the last 10 minutes of Lost, the GOOD 10 minutes and have to rewind it to see what you missed (I love you DVR!)

...you decide to go to bed at 10:10 because you feel asleep during the second watching of the last 10 minutes of Lost

...although you are typically a light sleeper, you are startled awake by your husband shaking you upon arriving home*

...upon being shaken awake by said husband you exclaim "Watch out for the lamp!" When asked what lamp you are referring to, you point to the middle of the bed**

...after your husband leaves the cats get in a huge fight right beneath your bed which includes scrambling, meowing and hissing and which requires your husband to remove one cat by his scruff, yet you do not hear a thing

...while making breakfast the next day you pour your iced tea into your OATMEAL, then when realizing your mistake you turn and pour it into a DIRTY glass

...it takes you a good 5 minutes to realize you need to dump the iced tea oatmeal, replace it with new oatmeal, and you need a clean glass

Is it the weekend yet?

*I do not know why B decided to shake me awake but it I bet it is because he missed me. I know I missed him.

**It was a beautiful Tiffany lamp in case you were wondering. It was also a hallucination/dream as we do not regularly keep Tiffany lamps on our bed.

And My Office is Born

Just like with the bedroom, Phishez also guessed my office correctly. I picked the green room.  I just loved the green color. And although B repainted the room, I chose another green color.  So now it will be my new relaxing office/TV room.  Unlike B's TV room, however, my TV is not yet mounted to the wall. B assures me that is coming.  Pictures will follow as this room evolves some more, but I am so behind with our picture progress, it is getting crazy. Things are changing every day around here, even if they are little changes.  So here goes.  

The original green room:

The original green room had a sandy gritty green paint. It mellowed the green and gave it a somewhat sponged look which I liked, but it needed to be repainted, the grit was a bit too much and I wasnt about to sponge, so this is the new color, pretty close:

And those floors looke nice right? (Aside from the dust).  See that desk? That is B's desk from when he was like 8.  In fact, when his parents came to visit the other day they remarked that B must really love me to allow me to even touch his desk. Apparently they were not allowed to go near it when he lived with them.  Well, he must REALLY love me because he is letting me use it permanently (well temporarily permanently? until I find something else).  During the transition stage, I found that I rather liked the desk in the middle of the room or off to the side. It works perfectly with B's desk because the hutch goes up the left and can rest against the wall. My desk had a huge hutch on the back and was generally larger.  B will be using my desk until we sort it all out. Not that he is in that office much. He is usually found in the downstairs TV room.

How nice does that desk look? I just need a more comfortable chair and I will be blogging to you more often and more relaxed.  Below is my view of the TV from my desk.  Also, you can see I am starting to unpack things, mainly books. Unpacking is a work in progress:

That ugly chair and ottoman? The previous owners left it behind. And even though it is all chewed up, I claimed it for my own because I like the lines. One day I hope to have it redone, but until then, I just need some slipcovers.  That chair is magical. At least that is what I told B when he came home from work and found me curled up asleep in it for the third night in a row (and before the ottoman made its way up there - can you say ouch?).   And, yes, I woke up saying "This chair is magical."  I say a bunch of crazy things when mostly asleep. B can attest to that.

One more view:

This room is far from being done. I ordered some roman shades. Well we bought one and had to special order one. That window above is 54 inches. There was ONE of those in the entire country from Bed Bath and Beyond. The entire country.  It was returned. I hope it is in good condition because it is on its way here. I also need a rug and some organization for the stuff that is currently sitting in boxes in the basement. I think it is coming along nicely and I wanted to show you what we have so far for this room.

Next up?  

Stay tuned.

The Evolution of Our Bedroom

Sometime last week I posed the question as to which room everyone thought we chose as our bedroom.  Phishez guessed correctly! In fact, she was the only one to guess but that is okay. We chose the crazy drape room as our bedroom quite by accident.  You see, when we went to move in, B and his friend discovered that the floors were still wet.  So the bed was the only piece of furniture that made it to the second floor before the discovery and it ended up in the crazy drape room.  We spent the night in there and then realized the room was quite large for our purposes and that we could even fit our dressers in there.  So the room went from looking like this:

To looking like this after the paint job:

And like this after the dressers were put in and pictures were hung:

Yes, we still have those ugly drapes. We will have them for a little while longer as I attempt to get curtains and/or shades for the rest of our many windows. Ugly they may be, but they keep out the cold and darken the room nicely. So they stay for now.

Now, if you will remember, B made up a "rule" about the bedroom and laundry baskets. Clearly that rule was made in order to keep the room looking neat.  To that end, I submit to you Exhibits A and B:

Exhibit A - my dresser:

Exhibit B - B's dresser:

Who needs rules??? That's what I thought.  I told B I planned on posting these shots to which he exclaimed "That's not fair! You had to time to clean your area up!"  No, it had been like that the whole time, with my keeping my laundry in the laundry basket and hamper.  He finally acknowledged that was its usual condition.  Meanwhile, his dresser still looks like this with an occasional cleaning.

Maybe I should institute a rule...

A Late Night Conversation

Me:  Do you think it is strange that I dreamt about a wrestler in a wheelchair who had a quadriplegic wife, well actually she was an amputee without arms and legs except when she was naked and in a bathtub, then she had all of her limbs?

B:  Yes

Where's Dani?

So it was brought to my attention that I am a horrible blogger and have been neglecting my posting duties. Thanks bro!  But he is right and it is true.  In fact, I thought I last posted on Thursday, but it looks like it was really Wednesday. That is a long time.  Too long.  I would like to say it was because I was off on some wild and crazy adventure but that would be a fib.  The truth is...

I have been doing nothing. Literally.  Getting up early to get to the office early is not only ridiculous, but apparently exhausting.  Couple that with the fact that arriving early does not necessarily mean I leave early and some days it is unbearable.  Feel bad for me yet? Nah, I didn't think so.

Here's what I remember since I last posted:

Thursday is a blur. B was recovering from some disgusting virus so we went for a romantic dinner at the coney island.  Then...nothing.

Friday was just too much for me I guess. I fell asleep at 7:00. That's PM in case you were wondering.  After returning from dinner which involved watching a man in a wheelchair use his legs to literally walk while seated which made B declare that "defeated the whole point of a wheelchair" and I to declare "maybe his butt was sore" which made absolutely no sense, I decided to lay down because I had a slight headache. I even left the bedroom light on so I wouldn't fall asleep.  After about an hour, I got up and moved to the couch to watch TV. I proceeded to do this for the next two hours. With my eyes closed.  And my mouth open.  There may have been snoring involved.  Thereafter, I moved back to the bedroom, told B I was going to bed to which he responded "you probably shouldn't have left in the first place." Touche.*

Fifteen hours later (don't judge - I was exhausted) I awoke to GET THINGS DONE.  This involved going online, getting lost in blog reading and being disturbed a couple of hours later by B who declared we had to go to the cider mill right then and there as it was NOW OR NEVER.  Although thrown about as a threat, I took it as an invitation and off we went to eat donuts and drink cider and watch cider being made yet again.  Every year it is the same routine.  And every year we act surprised as to how it is done.  Like we don't know that crushed apples will come down the chute, wrapped in the tarp to be crushed. Every year I will ask B "but where does the juice GO?" and every year he shows me the keg like contraption complete with a hose.  Oooooh and ahhhh.  Although we do not ooohhh and ahhh audibly like some people in the audience did.  Made me wonder just what they thought was going to come down that chute? Coal?  Maybe nothing.  In the wise words of a nearby three year old "maybe the apples are all stuck together."  It could happen, I suppose.

And Sunday? Oh Sunday. Full of breakfast, mad grocery shopping and deal seeking. I do not know how those deal seeking people do it. I get stressed every time.  You know what doesn't help being stressed while seeking deals?  Being stalked by a guy in a scooter stuck perpetually in reverse.  Nothing gets a greater rise out of me then hearing beep-beep-beep.  That stupid annoying reversing sound found on all trucks and apparently on scooters at the grocery store.  And this man? HE COULD NOT DRIVE FORWARD.  All he did was reverse.  Beep-beep-beep. And follow me from aisle to aisle. I was quite honestly going mad. At some point I just yelled "I can't take it anymore" and ran from the aisle with my cart while some lady looked at me strangely.  Later, upon finding my Mom and griping about said man, she informed me he was following her too.  Like mother, like daughter, stalked by crazy reversing guy.

And what was the craziest thing to have occurred this weekend? I worked, real work, from home. Rarely happens. I just cannot focus as well at home. But THINGS NEEDED TO BE DONE.  Like how I phrase important things in all caps? Gives them greater effect.  Anyway, lots of work was done. Hours of work.  This occurred while the "slimy but good" pot roast was cooking and the "yummy" cookies and the "somewhat crispier" cookies were baking.  Yes, it was family dinner day and although B said the pot roast was slimy, I will forgive him because (a) he does not like gravy - silly boy, (b) he also said it was good, and (c) he did not suffer from food poisoning or immediately contract a violent stomach virus like after last week's cooking.  But that's a post for another day....

*That word does not have the same effect if the accent is not present on the e.  Touche to that as well.

Dream a Little Dream

Lately, people have been asking me if I want to hear their dreams. Inevitably I try to "one up" them with my dreams because, honestly, my dreams are messed up.  For example, today a secretary came into my office and said "I have to tell you about this strange dream I had" to which I responded:

"Was it as strange as the dream I had that I was kidnapped and about to be tortured with an over abundance of Christmas tree lights and a bathtub? Or that when I realized that torture is painful I tried to steer my dream away from it because I can do that.  And then the torturer said to me 'you do realize your hair makes you look like a skunk' and I reluctantly agreed before waking myself up to pee because I still did not want to be tortured."

Nope, her dream was nothing like that.

It is strange to me when people cannot remember their dreams. I remember almost all of mine or at least snippets.  Like the other day when I dreamt my boss turned my trial into a high school play and I had no lines. I am sure there is meaning in there and the meaning probably isn't even a "beneath the surface" kind of meaning.  I am choosing to the ignore the meaning. It was a former boss anyway.

I also dream in color.  People have asked me before if I dream in color or in black and white and I never really knew the answer until the time I dreamt the Incredible Hulk was chasing B and I. The Hulk was definitely green.  You know what else I learned from that dream?  That when the Hulk is chasing you and tells you that it is "time to write your will" and you decide to go seek shelter at an old hospital, and then you decide to take the hospital stairs because there is a sign saying "for humans only" (that will teach that Hulk!), you might not want B with you. Because he will become fascinated with the "history of the stairs" and all of the great people that walked the stairs thereby slowing you down immensely.  That dream also taught me that it is important to buy tshirts to blend in with the crowd when being chased and that atrium glass is super strong and will not even break when you are under it and see big giant Hulk feet slide across it.

When I am not dreaming about work or superheros* turned evil, I like to dream about real life things like grocery prices.  Or so B tells me.  After one rough weekend of shopping with my mom, B informed me that I was talking in my sleep, moaning about those "damn grocery prices."

Of course, B is one to talk.  One night I was awakened by B hitting me not once, but twice, in his mad scramble to get the covers off of him and out of the bed. Alarmed, I sat up and asked what was going on.  B said "there was someone on top of me."  Looking around the room (which is not that big I might add) and seeing no one, I realize someone had been dreaming.  "There's no one here. Go back to sleep and PLEASE keep your fists to yourself. How am I going to explain bruises at work?"  Luckily, no bruises.  And B? He had no clue. Could not remember a thing. When I told him what occurred the next morning, he uttered one of his favorite lines "I am not responsible for what I do when I am sleeping."  Now, if only I could make him more responsible when I am sleeping. Maybe then, it would not be so difficult escaping from The Hulk.

*Is it superheroes or superheros?  Does it even matter? Is anyone reading this?

Master of Puppets

So you may be able to tell that I have an affinity for using songs for titles to my posts. More specifically, songs from the 80s and usually hair bands.  The trend will continue for today.  As a p.s. to yesterday's post, it turns out that the song lyrics were actually identical to the dream.  Eerie, no?  Here are some of the lyrics:

In my dreams -- its still the same

Your love is strong, it still remains

In my dreams -- you're still by me

Just the way you used to be.

(Dokken - yes, a hair band.  Circa 1985)

Now, as for today's title - there is a tie in.  This story comes courtesy of B.  We are out to dinner one evening regaling each other with work tales.  B doesn't have a blog so I am his usual outlet.  So he starts griping about someone at his side job that made employee of the month.  I was munching on fish and chips, or a burger, nodding and half listening until I hear him say something about a hand puppet?  I immediately stopped what I was doing, held up my finger, reached into my purse and got out pen and paper and then told him to proceed  (Side note: I don't think he liked that too much).

Turns out that the employee of the month is a guy that wears a puppet on his hand ALL of the time.  So, you are wondering, "hey, what fun family activity type place does B work at?"  Um, a hockey rink.   And what fun family activity does this employee perform?  He is an USHER. That's right folks - he tells you where your seat is, apparently while talking through a puppet. That is not the extent of it though, sadly.  He actually communicates with his coworkers through the puppet as well.  

Pretty sad day when you lose out on employee of the month to a guy with a sock on his hand.  

In My Dreams...

I had the best dream last night. You know the one that is SO real you do not want it to end? And things are so great, you REALLY do not want it to end? I had one of those. The dream was about my friend Amy. You know her from here.

In my dream we were together again and spent hours doing many things that of course I cannot remember. What I do remember, however, is how wonderful it felt to be with her again. Even in my dream, I knew that she was gone and that I needed to cherish the time we were together. Finally, toward the end I said to her "you left me" to which she replied, "I am sorry." I, too, wanted to say I was sorry for I feel that I failed her as a friend. Yet even in my dream, my perfect feel-good dream, I did not have the nerve.

I awoke from this dream so happy and the feeling stayed with me all day long because even though it was only for an hour this morning, I got to spend time with my angel.