October: The Fall of Temperatures , The Rise of Monsters, and the Riddle of All Ages

October is here! October is my favorite time of the year.  It brings giant pumpkins like so:

I can't wait to carve these like last year's.  So much fun.  October also brings monsters. Check these out:

Why yes, those are scary bobbles.  Why yes they are special Halloween edition bobbles of Star Wars characters. How fun is that? We have zombie Stormtrooper, werewolf Chewbacca and evil Yoda. I am just missing Darth Vadar, but I will get him this weekend.

In other news, remember when I saw that werewolf walking down the street?  Well, he looked kind of like Chewbacca up there. Also I saw him again while on the phone with my mom so now she can vouch for me. Well, she didn't see him but she did hear me scream "IT IS THE WEREWOLF GUY BUT THIS TIME HIS SHIRT IS CLOSED." Hell, I think werewolf guy heard me. In fact, I can almost guarantee this since I saw him yesterday walking down the street carrying a gas can and he looked RIGHT AT ME even though I was far away.  I am not sure yet what this means.

Other things that have happened since October began? The temperature dropped like crazy. We are freezing. Yet it is October so we don't want to turn on the heat. Hell, even I think it is too early. I am now attempting to keep warm by candlelight. Guess what? That doesn't work. At all.  Good thing it is supposed to be 80 on Saturday. Damn weather.

I also got a speeding ticket.  First one in MANY years and second one ever. Yes, I did have an immediate thought of running again, but decided against it.  Maybe in 15 more years I won't even think about running. Ha.  Also, could you give a girl a break? Apparently no. I wanted to shout I AM A GOOD DRIVER!!! But since I got pulled over that wouldn't seem entirely true would it?

I also had a first in my professional career the other day. A deposition in a church.  I have had some strange deps in my life (a post should really be done on that), but a church? I had visions of the videographer aiming toward the altar and the witness seated under a giant cross with Jesus insuring she told the truth.  Then I somehow turned that into a haunted church and walked around the house with a blanket over my head telling B that I was going to depose a ghost.  He looked at me like I was nuts, but who decided the next morning to talk about how difficult the dep would be if the person just kept saying "Booooo"? That is why we are in love people.

Speaking of ghosts, my main computer might have died. B thinks I killed it.  Perhaps because two others have gone to premature graves. I know that I am the common denominator but it is an Apple! It is not like I am running around getting viruses and things.  One has to wonder though, why do the computers just happen to break AFTER the warranty expires?

Riddle me that, people.

Riddles Are Easy When You Cheat

Potbellys always has riddles. I never know the answer even when pressured. They had the same riddle for days last week:

A sundial has the fewest parts of all time pieces. What has the most?

I thought about it once, decided it was making my head hurt and never thought about it again. On Friday, when I was in there, a guy strolled up behind me and said, without any preface:

"I haven't given this much thought but an hourglass?"

Bastard! At first, I thought "What a show off" and then I thought, "why is he so much smarter than me?" Then I realized that a mere moment before, I had heard the sandwich guy ask him "same thing as yesterday?" Obviously he had been in there the day before, read the riddle, and Googled the answer! Sure enough, when I got home, I googled it and found the answer. You know what that means, don't you?

That bastard is STILL smarter than me.

So there you have it...the first real riddle on this site courtesy of a sandwich shop and the answer courtesy of same random guy who cheated with Google.

Marching to the Beat of My Own Head

The other morning suddenly I heard a big band start playing yet when I opened the window to find the source, it was quiet. I thought nothing of it. I then proceeded to walk downstairs and to my car all the while hearing nothing. However, in the moment right before my car door shut I heard it again. Quickly rolling down my window, I again found silence. By now I was thinking that I was a character on Ally McBeal and maybe big band was my theme song.

Later I shared this news with B:

Me: I think my life is a bad episode of Ally McBeal.

B: why do you say that?

Me: I keep hearing theme music.

B: Huh?

Me: I hear big band music and then it stops. I am trying to figure out what it means.

B: huh?

Me: like in the morning on the way to my car...but when I open the window, I can't hear it...

B: You know there is a nearby high school and it is probably their band practicing.

Me: So early in the morning?

B: Yes. That is when high schoolers practice.

Me: Huh.

Me: DAMN I wanted to be Ally McBeal!

Can I Interest You in a Rhyme Instead?

Well even though I ponder life and this is called Riddle Me This, I am officially no good at riddles. See my prior post as evidence. So in response to these search queries I offer you either sage advice and wisdom or a fun rhyme:

riddle - she likes road not streets

I am not sure what the difference is between a road and a street. Maybe one is dirt and one is paved? She likes dirt but not tar? I offer you this rhyme instead:

She likes roads

But not streets

She is dirty

And not neat

Who likes dirt

When they can have tar?

Dirt takes you nowhere

Streets take you far.

can you see what I see not riddles

No. I cannot see what you see and it appears you do not want riddles. Would you like a rhyme?

Can you see what I see?

Can you hear what I hear?

Oops. That is actually a Christmas carol. Next.

something nobody wants but when someone has it does not want to lose it riddle

This sounds like a true riddle. Thus, I am quite incapable of solving it let alone writing it. If you find the answer, please come back and tell us. In the meantime, I offer you this rhyme:

That which nobody desires

Is often that which somebody has

And that which often lights your fires

Is often that which you get last

Not a true rhyme, but deal with it. I am taking artistic license here. I am also using the word “artistic” REALLY loosely.

riddles about why the cats is such gossip

This is new. But I must say, now that I think about it, those cats ARE such gossip. I am constantly walking in to find the cats huddled together looking at me all wide eyed like they had been caught. I used to think they were interrupted mid sweet loving, but now I know I just interrupted their gossip. And don’t even get me started about those glances they throw each other across the room. You may not speak cats, but you gossip like no others!

And I cannot rhyme with the word gossip. How about tales?

Why do cats tell such tall tales?

Why do cats gossip so?

Is it because my cats are males

That they gossip to and fro

What are they talking about them cats?

Food and napping, bugs and gnats?

How much fun can it be

To gossip without ever speaking

Ha! A switcheroo at the end, no rhyme. So artistic I am.

you can fill me but I never lie riddles

Um, okay, this sounds kind of like a torture device. Maybe a water torture device such as “you can fill me up with as much water as you want and prevent me from using the bathroom, but I will never lie.” Now why anyone would want to do that is beyond me. And why anyone would want to force you to lie is beyond me. If you won’t lie, can’t they just find the next person to lie? This one has me baffled. Huh. Maybe it is a riddle after all.

cats such gossip+riddles

Okay, I thought it was a little much that my cats may gossip, but tell riddles? That might be pushing it. Although they do look at me strangely and snicker sometimes. That is a riddle unto itself

who am I riddles for a fax machine

This one is my favorite. Who would want to write a riddle about a fax machine? Are they really that mysterious? Are they even that fun to talk about? Are they even used anymore? Here’s the riddle – why aren’t you PDFing and/or emailing your documents? Think about that for a while. Save a tree.

fake curse word riddles

The riddle here is why would you use fake curse words when the real ones are so much fun? I do like me some fake words though, so here are some fake curse words for you. Feel free to use them in a riddle:

Dangnabbit

Motherfuddrucker (fun blog alert: )

Frickin’

Frackin’

Effin’

Flippin’

Fark

Fork

Knife (just seeing if you are paying attention, the rest are perfectly acceptable)

riddle three three seven boxes move

Hmmm..337 boxes and how do you move them? With a VERY big truck. Or you could put the three boxes and the three boxes into the seven boxes, but then you would just say six boxes in seven boxes.

I’m lost. Just hire a mover.

christmas riddle game peppermint stick

Have yet to hear about this fun sounding Christmas game. What DO you do with that peppermint stick. Is it like hiding the pickle in the tree? Probably smells a lot better. Let me see if I can come up with a rhyme:

In this very merry season

The kids all shout with glee

For it is time and without reason

To hid peppermint inside the tree

Not gum, or candy, or chew

But a stick that is long and yummy

Hide one for me and one for you

Race to finish in the tummy

That sounded a bit obscene. Next.

guys at the bar sweeping laughing riddle*

The true riddle here? Why are guys in a bar sweeping laughing? They should be crying. Unless they have been drinking a LOT. Then I wouldn’t really trust their sweeping. Or maybe they are just happy they have a job? Let’s try a rhyme:

It’s closing time, the doors are shut

Now we can be silly and act like a nut

Although we must clean

And sweep through and through

We can still have fun

In all that we do

Pick up your broom and get to sweeping

So we can laugh to prevent from weeping

Google on people. Google on.

A Not So Secret Santa Stuffed Stocking

Say THAT three times. A riddle for your tongue.  But not a real riddle...I apologize to all of you riddle searchers who must be disappointed in this blog, but I will discuss that at a later time.  This post is all about the Stuffed Stocking I won from Brandy, a fellow blogger. 

I entered her giveaway and won a lovely stuffed stocking which arrived today.  Want some pics? Of course you do!  Here is the stocking:

Look at that detail! I tried to capture it up close:



Inside the stocking was all of this:



In case you cannot see it clearly. The stocking contained:

Fun holiday socks
Cookie cutters
Holiday Dish Towel
Little bags to put your cookies in and give out to people
Sprinkles and decorating gel; and
Starbucks GC in a cute little handmade holder. Check it out:




And the little button on the back:

I am in love with it and will cherish it always Brandy!

As for you dear readers, you really should check out Brandy's blog. Not just because she gave away this lovely prize package, but because it is a pretty awesome blog:

Want to see tattoos? Check.

Want to make a kickass cookie that you will not stop eating until you throw up? Check.

Want to see a beautiful Christmas tree involving Harley Davidson? Check.

Want to see how she only spent 72 cents at a trip to CVS that included, among other things, a Crockpot? Check.

Want to read one of the greatest post titles ever that is really all about Beyonce playing Wonderwoman? Check.

Everything you thought you wanted and more!  Check Brandy's blog out!

Thanks again Brandy. Mucho holiday love to you and yours.

And Merry Christmas Eve to the rest of you that celebrate!

My Mail Traveled into the Future

You may not believe me, but it is true. Somehow my mail defied all mail procedures and ended up delivered on the day I mailed it.  Don't believe me? Let me give you a run down:

It is Saturday afternoon and I hear the mailman downstairs.  I yell "shit" and proceed to quickly grab my movie, the sleeve and the Netflix envelope, stuffing it in all in and hoping to catch the mailman because I know there will be no mail Monday and I need my next movie NOW.  After all, I have decided that October is horror movie month and I have a lot of catching up to do.  I run downstairs, catch the mailman and hand him the movie.  I realize that, because of the no mail on Monday, my next movie will not come until Wednesday. But I am okay with that.

Imagine my surprise when I got an email this morning that Netflix has received my movie! How is that possible? The shipping address was at least an hour and a half away.  I gave the movie to the postman* on Saturday.  There was no mail on Sunday or Monday. Did they receive it Saturday?  Did the postman drive it there himself? Why would he do that? We are not even on a first name basis. And the post office is notoriously slow.  Netflix should not have received that movie until Tuesday.

Can someone explain this to me?  Some super uber-geek out there - can you give me a tutorial on time travel?  I am a geek, but not about that.  Or, if you happen to work at the post office, could you tell  me if this is possible? Because I am stumped. It is almost like my own personal riddle:

A movie is placed in a mailbox on Saturday.

There is no mail delivery on Sunday.

There is no mail delivery on Monday.

How was the movie received and acknowledged on Monday?

I bet the answer lies somewhere in those words, but I am no Riddler! 

UPDATE:  The movie arrived TODAY. TODAY.  How is that possible? It was mailed on Saturday. How could it be mailed, received and another one shipped all on the same day? How? My post office has clearly been messing with the time/space continuum (I don't even know how to spell that) and it is freaking me out!

*Every time I hear the word postman I start to sing "Mr. Postman" to the tune of "Mr. Sandman" which makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.

I'm No Riddler

Yes, I am afraid it is true. Although my blog is called Riddle Me This and sometimes there are Ramblings of a Riddler.  I am, in fact, no riddler.  This was proven the other day when I was unable to solve a riddle on demand.  All I wanted was my lunch.

I arrived at Potbelly's, excited that I had found one close to work, and even more excited about their dreamy oatmeal chocolate chip cookie.  As I was waiting for my sandwich to come out, the overly excited and irrationally happy counter guy announces:

OEIHCG: We've been waiting ALL day for you to arrive!

Me: [blank stare]

OEIHCG:  In fact, we cooked up this riddle just for you!

Me: [wondering if he knows I have a blog called Riddle Me This]

OEIHCG:  Do you think you can answer the riddle?

Me: No.

OEIHCG: Oh, come on, give it a try! I promise it is easy.

Me: It doesn't look easy - look there is math in it! I don't do math.

OEIHCG: You don't have to do math, that is the trick.

Me: I don't know...

OEIHCG: It is really simple - try not to think too hard.

Me: Um, I don't even think this hard at work.

OEIHCG: hahaha

Me: [no, really that is true]

Taking pity on me, and probably due to my total lack of participation, he gave me the answer.  All I could think at the time was - I am no Riddler.  Of course I never claimed to be a Riddler exactly. I do not post riddles and all the people doing google searches for riddles regarding ants in the carpet and elevators were probably disappointed to end up here and here.

So, it is really no surprise that I could not solve the riddle.  B, however, insisted that it ruined the whole effect of my blog. I think he has read it once. And he could not solve the riddle either. We are a riddleless couple I suppose.

Can you solve it?

How many bricks does it take to complete a 4' x 4' x 2' wall?

Remember - no math and don't think so hard.   It would also help if you were good at solving riddles.  And if you are, or better yet, if you are good at making up riddles, let me know. I have a few google searches I need to address.

The Riddler*

*yes, I still get to keep the title. It is my blog after all.