Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Shoot it for me Winchester...

One of the things I wanted for the new year was a clean office. I worked hard to achieve that goal before I left on Friday. Mission accomplished! Too well, in fact. Apparently when my boss, who was on vacation last week, came in this morning before me -- he saw a dark office with nothing on the desk and thought I had quit! But, alas, I am still there. He is relieved I am sure. My secretary, on the other hand, threw my mail at me and said "I thought you were on vacation" while huffing off. Well 1 out of 2 ain't so bad, right?

Now keeping with the office theme, why do people treat the office bathroom like it is their own personal bathroom and no one else could possible see, or more importantly, hear what is going on? Today's story comes courtesy of a coworker who apparently decided to take a "bathroom break" to play Tetris on his cellphone. I assure you that is not the funny part of this story. While deep in his Tetris game, someone else comes in. My colleague keeps quiet and lays low in the handicap stall so he won't be caught playing in the bathroom, so to speak. He then hears one of our coworkers say "Shoot if for me Winchester" three times. While my colleague is pondering this phrase during its third repeat, he realizes the man has started to use the bathroom. Apparently "Winchester" was this man's "pet" name and his "pet" needed encouragement to get the job done. And if that is not disturbing enough, keep in mind that this man is in his 50s, looks like he is in his 100s, and comes equipped with his own personal morphine drip. Now do you get the complete picture? This is just about up there with the equally disturbing episode in the woman's bathroom a few months back that involved the phrase "I felt that coming" after a grunt. Can you imagine these two in the same bathroom?? Do it, I dare you. It's not pretty.

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