Tuesday, May 29, 2012

That Is Not My Coat, Unless It Is My Coat, Then It May Be My Coat

Sometimes I like to act all wifey and take in B's dry cleaning for him. This is usually after he nags me. A lot.  

This was the case recently when B asked me to take his long formal coat in for a dry cleaning. Okay, maybe he asked me the last time he wore it. That would be in the winter. Yes, that season before spring. Ahem.

So I took it in. Eventually I got it out.  The timing of all that is irrelevant to the story. You know what is relevant?  B claimed I came back with a different coat.

I brought his coat home and hung it on our valet in our closet.  It hung there for weeks.  I asked B what he wanted me to do with the coat and he said to put it in the downstairs closet, which I did.  Two days later, I am outside in the garage (hanging out, not working - let's be real), when B came out wondering what I did with his coat:

B: Where's my coat?
Me: In the front closet.
B: No, it's not.
Me: Yes it is. I put it there myself.
Me: Oh, right. Someone came, broke into our house, left no evidence, AND ONLY STOLE YOUR COAT. I forgot.

Then I stalked to the closet and pulled out his coat with a big triumphant swoosh while saying in my head "Voila!".  B then insisted the coat was not his. We both looked at the coat, and I remarked "Um, what?"

Then B started saying a bunch of words all at once. I recall hearing "small claims court," "expensive," "Ralph Lauren," and "you better do something about this."

Too bad I was going out of town for a couple of days. I left B with the unpleasant task of accusing the dry cleaner of swapping his coat for a shorter, lighter and less expensive coat.

However, before that could happen, we revisited the issue. I had convinced B it might be a girl's coat. This struck me as funny.  He decided to try it on. Guess what?

It fit.

And it looked like his coat.

And when I asked him to check inside for a size, guess what he found?

A Ralph Lauren patch on the inside man's pocket.

Guess who didn't go back to the dry cleaners after all?


*B would like to say that this blog don't write itself as if he intentionally created the above scenario.

**This occurred before I started writing the blog again, so yeah.

Three years ago today:  Piss and Pine? Sounds Like a Candy...

4 important things being said:

sprinkles said...


Anonymous said...

I'm still not sure it is mine.

Anonymous said...

So funny! And I wonder who left that Anonymous comment????

*~Dani~* said...

@sprinkles - B provides plenty of laughs for me.

@Anon - yeah, right.

@Jennifer - yes, I wonder as well...

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