Wednesday, October 01, 2008

The Battle With the Donut Hole

About a week prior to my battle with the can of corn came the battle with the donut hole.  I am sure you can guess who won.  Like the battle with the corn, the donut hole battle was also messy, albeit without the gushing blood.

Let me preface this story with a tale of a young girl* exploring new avenues in her career, meeting new people, entertaining new clients.  A couple of months ago there was a shift in my firm sending me down a new road entirely.  This road involves client lunch meetings, which inevitably involve good manners.   Now, I happen to think I have pretty good manners.** However, things are elevated to another level entirely when you are entertaining clients in some of the best restaurants in town (or hobsnobbing as I tend to call it).  For the past few months I have been working on impeccable manners and a sense of belonging, which is also required.  I thought I had it down rather well.  Until the donut hole.

I know you are thinking to yourself "who serves donut holes at fancy restaurants during client meetings?"  The answer is no one. The only good part of this story is that I was not at a fancy restaurant at lunch, however, I was with clients.  And I was presiding over the hearing.  Yes, I was one of three in charge people.

As we are sitting there during a break in the proceedings, I noticed a box of donut holes.  Okay, I lied. I noticed them as soon as I arrived that morning but since I had just had breakfast, I thought I should pass.  About 20 minutes later, I thought I should have one.  I justified this thought by saying I would only have one.  After all, just one donut hole could not hurt could it? The answer is yes.  Especially when it is powdered.  Yes, I chose a powdered donut hole. No, I am not seven. However, like a seven year old, I was so attracted to it.  Looking back, I should have chosen the cinnamon powdered, it would have been a lot less messy.

Having made the choice in my head, I ever so daintily reach in the box, pick up a donut hole, pick up a napkin with my other hand, place the donut hole on the napkin and gracefully sit down.  And, I am not lying, in my head at the time I thought this:  "You are so graceful".  Ha!  At that exact moment I look down to discover that the donut hole has ROLLED OFF THE NAPKIN ACROSS MY LAP AND ONTO MY SEAT leaving a trail of white powdered sugar EVERYWHERE. (Note: I was wearing a dark suit).  I quickly recover the donut hole and put it back on the napkin and then on a table while reaching for another napkin to do something about this powdered sugar all over me all the while hoping that no one would notice.  That's when I hear the guy whose office we are in say "I usually just ask them for an assortment. Maybe next time I will tell them no powdered."  I whip out some witty remark like "but then I would not have powdered sugar all over me" while slowly realizing that the powdered sugar is NOT coming off my suit.  Now I am starting to look like someone that has a worse habit then eating a powdered donut hole.

As it is becoming abundantly clear that supplies other than a paper napkin are needed, I jump up and run over to the other table for water all the while hoping that no one else comes back into the room.  I take my napkin and dip it in the pitcher of water*** and look down to wipe it off of my pants when I realize the sugar is EVERYWHERE. It is on my pants, across my stomach, UP MY ARM??? What the heck? That donut was a wild maverick - how the heck did it get up my arm.  Luckily the water took most of it away even though you could still see it if you knew what you were looking for.  I pondered for a moment going home on the way back to the office to change but remembered I had nowhere else to be that day so I decided not to waste the time.  Then, I ate the donut hole.  I made sure to sink my teeth in extra good to exact some revenge.

After the proceeding ended, I headed back to the office where I proceed to tell the story to the secretary that sits outside my office.  I like to use my coworkers as test dummies for blog stories.****  At that exact moment, a partner comes up and tells me we are having an important client lunch at a fancy restaurant. Good thing I chose not to stop at  home and change.  All was saved by the secretary who told me to use a towel and warm water.  You could barely tell that I had encountered a powdered donut.  And, luckily, all went well at lunch.

As for me, I just can't win with food these days.  But that won't stop me.  I won't stop baking, cooking or eating.  And, lucky for you, I won't stop blogging. When hilarity ensues, blogging will follow.  And where a powdered donut hole goes, apparently powdered sugar will follow and then some!

*This is the part where B snorts and laughs and informs everyone that I am not young.

**Please do not inform Ms. Manners that I think my manners are good. Then she will come on here and judge me and nobody wants that.

***Yes, I dipped my napkin in the pitcher of water. I can only hope no one drank it or that they like their water tasting slightly like powdered sugar. Please don't tell Ms. Manners on me. I am afraid I won't be allowed to attend anymore important lunches.

****My mom does not think my coworkers would like it if they knew I called them test dummies. I figured they would like it more than COWS.

5 important things being said:

Matt said...

oh jeez, anything that required good manners or proper eitquette--I would FAIL at.

but get me in a bar and I can schmooz with people like no other!

Jennifer said...

Oh no! But I would have picked the powdered one too! Yummy!

*~Dani~* said...

Matt - must be the alcohol. It always helps with schmoozing. Maybe I should start drinking at these lunches.

Jenny - Powdered donuts are so yummy. My all time fav are nutty donuts but they are hard to come by. Stupid peanut allergies.

So@24 said...

This is why I don't trust donut holes

Matt said...

I highly recommend it!!

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