Wednesday, October 07, 2009

Crime Watch Wednesday: Man's Got Balls!

This week's Crime Watch Chronicles brings us a story of something we all wish we could do...send projectile objects in our neighbors' direction:

A woman reported that her neighbor was hitting golf balls in the middle of the afternoon. Unfortunately for the woman's father, the neighbor was not on the golf course, but in his backyard at the time. The woman reported that one of the balls nearly hit her father in the head. Despite her best efforts, she was unable to reach a resolution with said neighbor. Police discovered a golf net in the suspect's backyard facing the woman's house as well as some golf balls in her yard. The suspect would only admit to one ball having gone into the woman's yard. Probably the one that nearly brained her father.

That guy has balls. I kid. No, really. Not only does he send flying objects directly into his neighbor's yard, but he also aims right for it. Yes, he had a "net", but the net was facing her house. And it couldn't have been a very good net, seeing as how many balls made it into her backyard. Then there's the whole hitting-the-ball-when-someone-is-in-the-yard thing. I am sure that was "accidental."

This story has given me many great ideas. Or at least one. B has golf clubs. B has balls.* We have a neighbor that won't cut his grass. We have neighbors that didn't want to let us get air.** I can hit a ball with a club. However, I cannot guarantee in which direction it will go.

At this time, I would like to apologize in advance to the hip young couple that lives across the street (who invited us to game night last weekend, which we didn't attend because B was working and I was doing something better***) for the golf ball through the window. It was really intended for the guy behind us.


*Golf balls, people. GOLF BALLS.

**We got air anyway. It is so quiet, they cannot hear it. They now LOVE us and think we are geniuses. I am still bitter.

***Something better was falling asleep in front of the TV. Good times!

6 important things being said:

Jennifer said...

That guy does have balls (LOL). Obviously he hates his neighbors. I want to hear more about the hip neighbors.

j'lynn said...

Funny thing was...I didn't even have to read the ***clarification for "doing something better"! hehe ;)

I agree with Jennifer...I want to hear more about the hip neighbors. But I question if having a game night ='s hip...

Living Dees Life said...

people are hilarious!

and i am so happy you have air. now, do you have heat?? lol just kiddin!!

i wanna hit golf balls into a net and pretend to not notice i almost brained my neighbor.

Andhari said...

Geez that must be pretty deliberate. The guy's crazy! Lol.

And your neighborhood is so interesting, it's like wisteria lanes with the drama.

Jamie said...

Since you got your way, and air conditioning, it might be time to transition from bitter to slightly smug. Aren't they the really old ones? I'm worried you will guilty about your bitterness if they kick off soon.

*~Dani~* said...

Jennifer - well, I am not sure if they are hip, but they are young and have a push mower and seem cool.

jlynn - see above and you know me well ;)

Blaez - we do have heat. We got a new furnace too. Luckily the neighbors really didnt have much say in that.

Andhari - it is like wisteria lane around here. So interesting!

Jamie - you are way too logical. We didnt completely get our way since the air had to go in the back yard. What if I am smugly bitter instead? They are really old but I doubt I would feel guilty if they died while I was bitter. I am still nice to them.

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