Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Crime Watch Wednesday - I Can Stroke You But You Can't Stroke Me

This week's Crime Watch Wednesday is a very special edition from my Mom's hood and highlights the unintended consequences of compliments.

A woman reported being assaulted by a bar manager right before closing time. She was stroking his beard and "complimenting" him when he grabbed her breasts and told her they were "nice, too." She slapped him. He slapped her. No one got lucky that night.

What has dating come to these days? A nice gentlemen tries to pay a classy woman a compliment and he gets charged with assault. The nerve! In other news, perhaps it is not the wisest course of action to stroke a man's beard in a bar at 2:00 a.m. when he is probably drunk, you are totally drunk, and wise decisions cannot be made.

Can you imagine the police report on this incident?

We arrived at the local watering hole shortly after closing time on reports of lewd behavior.  Upon entering the bar, we found a man with a scraggly looking beard, like it hadn't been washed in days, and a 50 year old woman in a too low cut top with a large beer stain on it.  When asked for her version of events, the woman stated "I love a man in a beard and told him so. He then tried to feel me up. The nerve!"  The man, when it was his turn, stated "Yo, this woman I wouldn't think about twice was bending over the bar, showing me the goods, stroking my beard and paying me a compliment. So I paid her one back. What's the big deal?"  He may have called her Sugar Tits too.*

In all seriousness, ladies, do not put yourself in a position where you are alone in a bar after it closes.  If you do find yourself in that position, do not stroke anything on a man lest you be stroked in return.  And that is my public service announcment for the week.

*Special shout out to Mel!  Just don't shout back, okay?

2 important things being said:

Jennifer said...

If you stroke someone's beard and tell them it is nice, I pretty much think you are asking for sex.

*~Dani~* said...

Jennifer - so did that guy apparently. Maybe she discovered she didn't like the whole "package".

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