Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Crime Watch Wednesday: Go Stick a Muffin in Your Shirt!

This week's crime watch chronicles brings us this interesting tale:

A man took a muffin and two bananas without paying for them from a gas station. He used his debit card to pay for a cup of coffee, however, he had a little trouble when the card was then denied when he tried to buy some maps. As he was leaving, the clerk reminded him that he still needed to pay for the muffin and bananas, but the thief had other ideas shouting "No, I don't!" while running off. He was later detained by police who found the muffin, the bananas, and a few credit card applications in his big bag. He was apprehended on foot in front of another store.

Okay. My biggest problem with this story? Buying fruit from a gas station. That is just gross. I have to wonder though, did the guy finish his coffee before he ran off with the fruit? Because running with coffee is NEVER a good idea. Also, considering he was (1) on foot, and (2) found a short distance away, I am not sure why the maps were needed. Is there some black market in maps that I don't know about?

You know what makes this story really funny to me? It combines two of my favorite things - muffins and bananas. First, the love of muffins comes from the time after breakfast with my Mom when I stuck a muffin in my shirt for some unknown-to-me now reason. I then thought it was funny and walked around like that until my brother exasperatedly shouted "take that muffin out of your shirt!" which just made my Mom and I laugh hysterically. For weeks after that, my Mom would just randomly say to me "oh, go stick a muffin in your shirt."

The love of bananas comes from some video on the internet we saw of some woman screaming and grieving over some person. Although very sad, for some reason it sounded like she was wailing "I want a banana." This turned into "have a banana" for my Mom and me and I say it ALL THE TIME. If she ever tries to say she is not feeling good, I respond with "have a banana." It only bolstered my cure when she had to go into the hospital once and they told her that her potassium was low. See? That was my scientific medical proof that a banana is the cure for everything.

And here is further proof:

Take note.

4 important things being said:

Andhari said...

Omg it's just a coffee, bananas and muffin? Why would a person steal those? Can't he just pay with cash?

I guess I can't understand the minds of the thiefs.

I'll just go stick a muffin on my shirt.

J said...

...That certainly is interesting. I love how he felt like he just had to take the stuff as if he was trying to prove a point.

I hope it was worth it!

Jennifer said...

If I didn't know better, I would think that you and your mom spent a lot of your time together drinking.

And I also cannot believe that the cops actually chased this guy. Only in your city!

*~Dani~* said...

Andhari - I have no idea. Maybe he was hungry? Or just mad. You can't go wrong with a muffin in your shirt.

J - that is what I thought too. And what the heck was up with the maps?

Jennifer - drinking would explain a lot. Sadly we are sober. Our cops have nothing better to do then chase a guy with a banana, muffin and some maps.

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