Wednesday, December 09, 2009

Crime Watch Wednesday: The One Where I Am the Victim. Or the Perp?

Our Halloween night held more excitement than just passing out candy. While we were waiting for B's sister, brother-in-law and our nephew to come over for dinner and trick-or-treating, I noticed a police car pull around the corner, drive slowly up to the neighbor's house across the street and stop. Being ever mindful of B's constant need to know everything happening in the 'hood, I shouted out:

Me: The cops are at the old lady across the street's house!
B: What are they doing there?
Me: I don't know.

So I sat down on our couch in front of our big picture window and watched, trying to determine what was going on while petting Lil' B and giving the original B a blow-by-blow:

Me: She came to the door.
Me: She is letting him in.
Me: Only one cop.
Me: He is still in there.
Me: This is boring.

B joined me at the window and then we saw the neighbors next door to the old lady head over. B dropped to the floor like he was dodging bombs in Band of Brothers while exclaiming "Now they can only see YOU - the nosy one." Um, okay. Who wouldn't be nosy when there are cops at their neighbor's house? Also, B would be the first one to lecture me on why I did not find out what was going on when there were POLICE ON OUR STREET. This may have happened once or twice before.

The neighbors are only there for a few minutes before they walk back to their house. I conclude nothing is happening and this is really boring when my phone rings. Figuring it is my SIL, I head over there, pick it up to see "private number." The following conversation happens:

Me: Hello?
Voice: Is this Dani?
Me: Yes....
Voice: This is, um, Officer Somebody from, um, your town's, um, public safety department.
Voice: We, um, found a package belonging to you.
Voice: Um, if you tell me your address I will bring it over.

At this point in time I am thinking that it is my friend E playing a joke on me. He does that. Really, the guy sounded unsure of what he was saying and what he was saying was making absolutely no sense to me.

Me: If you have a package for me, wouldn't it say my address on it?*
Voice: Well, the thing is it is difficult to read your address.
Me: Where did you find this package?
Voice: One of our residents found it.

Ding! I swear a light bulb went off in my head.

Me: Are you at the resident's house right now? [said in a long drawn out horror movie kind of way]
Voice: Maybe?
Voice: Oh.
Me: I am coming over.

And so it came to be that my neighbor across the street had one of my packages delivered to her because the number for the address was one number off. Then she called the public safety department because she did not recognize my name and didn't know what the package contained.

And so I walked across the street, to be introduced to my neighbor whom I had never met before, gave the officer my complete name and birth date for HIS REPORT** and then carried my big box back home.

And so I heard the police officer tell another inquiring neighbor "Oh, nothing. Just a misdelivered box."

And how did the officer know where to find me to inquire about said box? MY PHONE NUMBER WAS WRITTEN RIGHT ON IT. Why my neighbor could not have just called me, I will never know. Also? Ten bucks says she forgets who I am by the time this happens again. This will surely happen again.

Victim or perp? You decide.

*You cannot dodge an attorney. We have a knack for stating and asking the obvious.

**Can you believe this did NOT show up in the town's crime watch chronicles? Now, techinically this wasn't a crime, but it is a little disheartening to read a story in the crime watch about a racoon stuck in the basement window that was freed with a dog catcher hook and released to the backyard shrubs and not this story. Come on! It could have a catchy title and everything:

Suspicious Package Forges New Friendship

A local resident found a unique way to meet her new neighbor. When a suspicious box arrived on her doorstep containing someone else's name but her address, the concerned woman called public safety. The responding officer, after confirming the box was harmless, called the phone number on the delivery sticker only to find that the phone was answered by someone right across the street! The neighbors were introduced and the box was returned to its rightful owner.

9 important things being said:

j'lynn said...

I think you were both vic & perp....

Here I debate calling 911 for a possible gun shot, but your neighbor calls for a suspicious package with someone else's name and phone number on it.... Maybe I need to call my public safety officials more often than not! LOL

Anonymous said...

I feel like a victim for having read that post and lived through the experience.

Living Dees Life said...

lol they totally should have put you in the crime watch section! much better story than some raccoon!!

Anonymous said...

This post was hilarious! Why wouldn't she just call the #??? I loved the part where your husband hit the groud... LOL

J said...

Wow that is quite interesting. The whole ducking down so the neighbors didn't see him brings back memories for me from living in a small town and such. I would definitely say you were the victim in this lol

(By the way, I'm giving you an award on my blog today)

Debbie said...

Great story! I too liked the part about ducking down. Sounds like something my husband would do. The verdict on victim or perp? probably both!

*~Dani~* said...

jlynn- gunshots warrant a call. If your town is anything like mine, they will be glad for something "real" to distract them from misdelivered packages.

Anonymous - and yet you still keep on reading. Didn't you enjoy the Band of Brothers reference at least?

Blaez - I agree!! I cannot believe I lost to a raccoon.

walkingonsunshine - Maybe she thought the number was fake and if she called it I would steal her identity or steal her soul through the phone? I never saw B move so fast than when he ducked!

J - I feel like a victim. I need to know more stories from your small town life.

Debbie - husbands are so much a like. I kind of like being the perp without having done anything bad!

Jennifer said...

I think you were the victim. Who calls the cops about getting a package intended for someone else? That is just weird.

*~Dani~* said...

Jennifer - I fully expect YOUR neighbors would do the same. I have seen them.

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